Brian Zak/Sipa Press; Jordan Strauss/WireImage.com; Steve Granitz/WireImage.com; Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images; Kevin Mazur/WireImage.comIt's purely coincidence.
We here at E! cannot help that our very own Chelsea Handler was at the center of the celebutainment universe this week—or that she was scheduled to interview Kathy Griffin, who also made quite a splash with her usual brand of no-holds-barred insult comedy.
C-BOMBS AWAY: While performing stand-up, Chelsea Handler used the extra yucky lady word in reference to Angelina Jolie, who obviously is way too cool and busy to care about such things. But the hoi polloi put two and two together and got...Jennifer Aniston! As in, "Chelsea must be on Team Jen!" As if they didn't know that the E! star—who recently went on her first (and possibly last) vacation with Jen—has been poking fun at Angie since, in her words, the Oscar winner "made out with her brother." [Muffled guffaw.]
THAR SHE BLOWS?: Bristol Palin has been putting up with a lot of noise from the peanutty pundit gallery, but Kathy Griffin may have overshot with an off-key fat joke. For starters, timing is everything, and you can't make fun of Sarah Palin's kid in a room full of Marines at a U.S. Marine base. (Kind of how like Bristol shouldn't have used a gay stereotype to respond to Margaret Cho.) But while Fox News helped Bristol volley back, CNN is giving Griffin a platform—cohosting the network's New Year's Eve countdown with Anderson Cooper, who runs a No Bully Zone. Which Kathy assures us she's not.
DRAMEDY, EH?: Ed O'Neill proved he was misquoted in reports that he knocked Jane Lynch's Emmy win for Glee by producing the actual transcript of his interview with Canadian TV Guide. We can just picture Al Bundy and Sue Sylvester lounging on the couch watching football, beer in one hand, the other hand tucked just inside his or her waistband.
STRIPPED: Christina Aguilera was caught with her chains around her privates in a handful of photos intended only for her stylist, whose computer was hacked by someone who isn't very "Beautiful" on the inside.
BONG RIPPED: A sadness-inducing cell phone video of Miley Cyrus puffing some herb showed up on TMZ. Oh, but wait, not that herb. No, the singer's choice in this case was reportedly a legal hallucinogenic called salvia (which, yes, was trending mighty high on Google after the story broke).
BUMPED: Kevin Smith, his wife and Jason "Jay" Mewes were denied passage on a Virgin America flight after his reputation preceded him showing up at the gate too late. Maybe they were held up by the Khloé Kardashian Odom special beforehand.
30 YEARS LATER: On the occasion of the 30th anniversary of John Lennon's untimely death at the hands of Mark David Chapman, Rolling Stone has released its final interview with the Beatles great—an interview that would have complemented the famous Annie Leibovitz photographs taken of a naked John and Yoko the day he died.
MANHATTAN MYSTERY: Up-and-coming swimwear designer Sylvie Cachay was found dead in the tub in her suite at the exclusive Soho House, where she'd been staying since her own place was damaged in a fire. Her ex-boyfriend, who says he was out getting something to eat, has been charged with attempted murder and strangulation—and we're waiting for investigators to fill in the details of how they got from A to B.
NOT IN VEIN: Alexis Neiers was sentenced to a year of residential rehab after being caught with black tar heroin and a fake ID. She's lucky she didn't get prison time.
CASE CLOSED: Beverly Hills police are still technically investigating, but say they're pretty damn sure that Hollywood publicist Ronni Chasen was gunned down by ex-con Harold Smith, who later killed himself with preliminary tests show was the same gun, in a botched robbery attempt.
FAMILY TRAGEDY: Teen Mom's Farrah Abraham brought daughter Sophia to the gravesite of the child's dad, Derek Underwood, who died two months before Sophia was born. Derek's mom, who unsuccessfully petitioned Farrah for visitation rights, wouldn't have minded so much if, one, she had been invited to go along and, two, the MTV cameras had not. (Or one or the other.)
WEDDING BELLS: They're ringing for Joel Madden and Nicole Richie today over at dad Lionel Richie's house in Beverly Hills...Same goes for Joanna Garcia and Yankee Nick Swisher in Miami...Kelsey Grammer ready to go again, this time with 29-year-old Katye Walsh...Danny Bonaduce went for No. 3 with Amy Railsback...Will political unrest interfere with Prince William and Kate Middleton's veddy important nuptials next year?
BABY TALK: Becki Newton and hubby Chris Diamantopoulos are first-time parents...Meet Céline Dion's twins, Nelson and Eddy...Nick Cannon talks Mariah Carey baby names...Drea de Matteo and fiancé Shooter Jennings are expecting their second...Christina Applegate is just pregnant enough to pole dance.
ANIMAL RIGHTS: Tommy Lee is angry at Sea World for practicing forcible whale-insemination...Aaron Sorkin bashes Sarah Palin for staging a caribou hunt for her TLC show, even though it might be the least hypocritical thing a politician has ever done.
TWEET DEATH: Kim Kardashian, Ryan Seacrest and more vowed to stay off Twitter until $1 million had been raised for Alicia Keys' Keep a Child Alive World AIDS Day campaign. It's not that people didn't care, they were just...tired.
SHOUTS OF GLEE: Javier Bardem still waiting on his script...Matthew Morrison and a host of castmates, apprenticed by our very own Kristin Dos Santos, held a music workshop for L.A. school kids...Your weekly Glee-dux...Harry Shum Jr. spills on Finchel breakup and more...More on Katie Couric's guest spot...
NOT SHOCKING, JOCK: Howard Stern reupped with Sirius XM satellite radio for another five years and presumably hundreds of millions of dollars, preventing a mass exodus back to terrestrial radio.
TV LAND: Sarah Palin and Kate Gosselin, together at last...Joe Jonas snacks on Top Chef: All-Stars and castoff Jen Carroll explains her elimination meltdown..."With the Stars" curse extends to Skating...Barack Obama gives the order on Mythbusters...Brandy Kuentzel wins the boring regular Apprentice...Little People, Big World series finale...WGA announces nominations for best TV writing...More changes afoot at American Idol...Mariah surprises Extreme Makeover: Home Edition...Real Housewives of Orange County upstaged by sidekick lesbian...Non-lesbian Oprah takes over Jeopardy!...No same-sex Dancing With the Stars for Portia de Rossi...Another Sister Wife for Kody Brown?...Biggest Loser's Jillian Michaels announces imminent departure...Family Ties dad going gay for Brothers & Sisters...Ian Somehalder talks Vampire love...Snooki to help Whitney Cummings and Flo Rida ring in 2011 for MTV...No Charlie Sheen guest spot coming on Walking Dead...An interesting way for CNN to get its point across...Only one more season left of The Closer...Someone got the memo: A&E says no more Hasselhoffs...SPOILER ZONE!
MUSICAL NOTES: Carrie Underwood makes a splash at the first ever American Country Awards...Jessica Simpson may be worth close to a billion dollars, $999 million of it from shoes...Aretha Franklin reportedly suffering from pancreatic cancer...Watch the video for Michael Jackson and Akon's "Hold My Hand"...Listen to LeAnn Rimes' latest, "Crazy Women"...Jim Morrison is forgiven in Florida...Wax suits Lady Gaga...British teen Sam Hollyman makes a splash at a Michael Bublé show...Apologetic Lady Gaga hacker speaks out...
SCREENPLAY: Robert Pattinson is someone's date for the night for $80,000...Justin Timberlake can't be here Now...You can take the kids to Blue Valentine now, though that would be weird...Ryan Gosling also got pretty nekkid for All Good Things...Peter Jackson carved out a spot for Cate Blanchett in The Hobbit...Taylor Lautner headed for extraterrestrial lockup...Jude Law didn't maim Robert Downey Jr. on the set of Sherlock Holmes 2...Good, because RDJ needs to stay in shape for his musical...One Armie Hammer is enough for Leonardo DiCaprio...Matthew McConaughey gets serious in The Lincoln Lawyer...Wait, Neil Armstrong is the reason there's a third Transformers movie?...Chris Hemsworth attempts to medal in the hammer throw in Thor...Mary-Kate Olsen gives Vanessa Hudgens a Beastly shot at love...Uh-oh, The Beaver actually looks really good...E! reviews The Tourist, The Fighter, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, The Tempest...Spider-Man total coverage!
LAW & ORDER: He's not happy about it, but Wesley Snipes is in prison...He should read T.I.'s blog...Salma Hayek's illegal-immigrant experience was brief and long since remedied...Leonardo DiCaprio's face slasher sentenced to prison...Here's how Demi Lovato won't get sued...Richard Hatch flirting with prison again...Family Matters star Darius McCrary denies wife-beating accusation...Danielle Staub's litigious ex tries to collect from her publisher.
COVERAGE: Kirsten Dunst talks rehab and rejuvenation...Reese Witherspoon commits Googlecide...Winona Ryder does not...Ashton Kutcher not too fazed by thwarted sex tape battle to gush about Twitter, aka the new frontier of verbal lovemaking...Marisa Miller strips for Marc Jacobs' skin cancer awareness campaign.
SURREAL ESTATE: John Mayer's would like $1.3 million or so for his Pacific Palisades pleasure palace...Harrison Ford's 5,500-square-foot loft in Chelsea is on the market for $16 million...Brooke Mueller returns to sober living house.
ROMANCE ROSTER: Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift can only do so much together...Blake Lively was by Ryan Gosling's side at the Blue Valentine premiere and afterparty in NYC...Kim Kardashian is done with Gabriel Aubry—and football players!...Katy Perry is ready to officially be Mrs. Russell Brand...Jenny McCarthy drops boyfriend Jason Toohey...Jim Carrey's daughter, Jane, drops her husband after a year...Christina Aguilera spending quality hotel time with Matthew Rutler.
FAREWELL: Don Meredith, who shared the Monday Night Football booth with Howard Cosell and Frank Gifford died of a brain hemorrhage at 72.
SEEN: Jennifer Aniston wining and dining with Sacha Baron Cohen, Marg Helgenberger, Debi Mazar and Quincy Jones at Domaine Clarence Dillon's wines' 75th anniversary celebration at L.A.'s Vibiana Hotel...Britney Spears and Jason Trawick preening on the veranda of their Mexican villa while celebrating Brit's 29th b-day...Brad Pitt cupping his lady's bum on the red carpet at The Tourist premiere in NYC, just as Johnny Depp was off praising their parenting skills...Brad and Angelina taking twins Knox and Vivienne to Lee's Art Shop in Manhattan...Kourtney and Khloé Kardashian launching the Kardashian by Bebe Holiday and Resort Clothing Collection in L.A....Gavin Rossdale serenading attendees of a business dinner at Del Posto in NYC...Charlize Theron being auctioned off for $20,000 to benefit Africa Outreach at L.A.'s Darby restaurant...Katy Perry joining Darren Criss onstage for "Teenage Dream" at the Trevor Live benefit at the Hollywood Palladium...Alex Rodriguez partying poolside during Art Basel in Miami...Oprah and Paul McCartney among the feted at the Kennedy Center Honors in Washington, D.C....Willow Smith whipping her hair for the crowd at the L.A. Kings Holiday Ice tree lighting ceremony at L.A. Live.