You've obviously never stayed at the Cabo San Lucas resorts like Esperanza or Las Ventanas—places so fancy that the views have views—or the five-star digs in Punta Mita.
There's a reason why celebrities are skipping St. Barts or Lake Como, and it only partially has to do with proximity...
Though distance does have something to do with it. Yes, a two-hour flight—versus, say, six, including a stopover in Miami—is appealing to even stars who can afford private jets.
But even more valuable than convenience is privacy, and these days, Mexico has plenty of it.
You can credit media stories about violence in Mexico:
"American tourists are scared to go down there, so celebrities know they're not going to be seen as much," says David Horne of the travel agency Cosmopolite.
That goes double for paparazzi, who are also scarcer down there right now, Horne tells me.
"A lot of these resorts are pretty paparazzi-free" already, travel agent Lyndsey Green adds. "They're five-star all the way."
But—despite the fact that Punta Mita and Cabo are pretty safe—media reports about gangs or kidnappings are keeping some paps away. (Not all of them, if recent photos of Britney Spears' birthday bash with boyfriend Jason Trawick are any indication.)
Meanwhile, those same reports aren't bothering stars, for obvious reasons.
"A lot of these celebrities travel with their own protection, their own bodyguards," Horne says. "And often the hotel is nice enough to grace them with extra security, all behind the scenes."
Lastly, stars are looking at pretty deep discounts at the five-star resorts.
"A $20,000 presidential suite is now between $5,000 and $8,000 a night," Horne says. "It's a huge savings."
And even stars tend to love a good discount.