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Soup Top 5: Wild Horndog on the Loose in Sarah Palin's Alaska

If you spent your week trying to get your sexting skills up to the level of Tony Parker's alleged sexting abilities (hint: you can write "suk" instead of character-heavy "suck), you may have somehow missed some hot Soup action. Here's your chance to catch up.

1. Sarah Palin's Alaska: Though some may think that Alaska belongs to the United States, we now know that Sarah Palin is owner/operator of the Land of the Midnight Sun. And what a job! Shooting animals, looking at Russia and trying to keep blossoming daughter Willow not pregnant.

Keep clicking, kids!

2. Sister Wives Honeymoon Special: Spouse collector Kody Brown does his husbanding job well. With foxy wife number four, maybe a little too well.

3. The Real Housewives of Atlanta: She may live in Atlanta, but in the Zolciak household things rotate strictly around planet Kim. Take a peek at her inner sanctum, a room where she can relax and really concentrate on what's important in her life: Herself.

4. Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders: Making the Team: It takes a lot to satisfy the rigid standards of the Cowboy cheerleaders. As one hopeful painfully learns, many things can get in the way. Like an ounce of wretched arm fat. Go team.

5. Dancing With the Stars: Assuming you believe that winners on DWTS are actually chosen by the public and not determined by savvy, ratings-driven network decisions, America loves Bristol Palin. Assuming you're asking yourself why, let the gifted talent fill you in on her unique appeal.

MORE: In case you missed it, check out a fowl-mouthed young Taylor Momsen in a Shake 'n Bake commercial. Don't be chicken.

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