Wasn't the big story tonight supposed to be the tribe's camp going up in flames?
Instead it was a Castaway getting burned in the season's biggest blindside to date.
So who said "ouch" as their torch was ceremoniously snuffed by Jeff Probst?
Brenda. Sash sent that girl out with her ass ablaze, but it was his lying pants that were on fire.
What Hidden Immunity Idol? Seeing Brenda's smug smile falter during that looooooooong pause as she waited in vain for Sash to hand over his Immunity Idol was so satisfying. I'm not gonna lie, Brenda pissed me off "to the highest point of pissivity" for orchestrating the ouster of Marty & Co. Ageist! Of course Sash is the true commander in chief, and he's smugness personified, not to mention just plain creepy. If he wins this thing (and signs are pointing to yes), his legacy is going to be more Brian Heidik (Thailand) than Todd Herzog (China). If Sash's competitors were smart they'd flush out his Idol, but...they aren't. (I present into evidence one pile of ashes once known as camp.)
"If This Were Life or Death, You'd Be Dead": Beer's on me, Mr. Probst, for ridiculing Sash and Brenda for their team's epic failure during the Reward Challenge. About time they got a taste of their Dan medicine. Keeping the weak guy around may eliminate threats like Marty, but you do have to pay for it at camp and rewards. Plus, offing Marty backfired in a huge way for Brenda, as she's joining him on the jury while Jane frolics on volcanoes and scores herself an Immunity Necklace.
Start Making Sense: Maybe NaOnka was exhausted from last week's Tribal Council meltdown, but she was decidedly chill tonight—and playing the game. She might be riding her crazy train to the final, unless she really is going off the rails next week as the previews suggest. (They've fooled us before.) Sash and Chase were Brenda's great betrayers in the end, but NaOnka got there first.
Next Time on Survivor: Maybe the Antiques will continue their young'un spanking streak! After all, Jane beat out strapping young Chase for immunity—even though he played dirty (Chase?!) and tried to psych her out. (Jeff Probst to the rescue!) And Dan (Dan!) outlasted Brenda in the same challenge. Plus, how good is Holly looking? Outdoor livin' definitely agrees with this woman, and she seems almost sane. In the end, though, I suspect King Sash will manipulate them all into doing his bidding.
I'll be talking to the Queen B tomorrow morning, so tweet me with any Q's! Meanwhile, if you know the meaning of that symbol Brenda drew on her voting ballot for NaOnka, post it in the comments!