Conspiracy to put Ryan Seacrest and Giuliana Rancic out of work? Yeah, that she's on board with.
The Dancing With the Stars finalist opened up to E! News in an exclusive sitdown over the weekend, discussing the supposed pro-Bristol block of political voters, her chances on taking home the mirror-ball trophy, those rumors about her love life, her post-DWTS plans and what exactly has sparked a battle between her and mama bear Sarah Palin.
Here's what she had to say…
First of all, Bristol is just pleased as punch that she made it all the way to the final four of the hit reality show.
"I can't believe it's been three months already," she said. "I'm pretty confident now."
That confidence should come in handy this week, when she and partner Mark Ballas perform the waltz and the paso doble, which Bristol describes as fierce and "pretty sexy."
"I'm not a sexy girl," she explained.
But there's clearly something about her that keeps voting rooting her on (and voting her through) every week on the show…and according to Palin, it's more than just her last name.
"I work my butt off," she said, dismissing any speculation that it's a Tea Party conspiracy, and not a ridiculous amount of man hours, that's keeping her in the game.
And besides, for every voter that would vote for her because she's her mother's daughter, there's another who, well, wouldn't. Bristol, clearly, has done the math.
"Think about all the people who hate my mom!" she said. So clearly it's not politics that's keeping her around.
Must be her performance, then. But she's got some steep competition, naming Kyle Massey as the remaining competitors' toughest competition.
And while she's been working extra hard with Ballas to give it her all the final weeks, they're keeping their relationship purely professional.
"Nothing with Mark," she said of the rumors of their coupling up off the dance floor. "He's like a friend."
As for any other potential suitors, Bristol said she had "no time" for dating at the moment.
But seemed more than willing to discuss the ghost of boyfriends past. Or at least one in particular.
"I think he is misguided," she said of Levi Johnston and his publicity-grabbing bid to run for mayor of Wasilla. "But at least he's going to finish his education."
As for any lingering feelings of love between the duo, Bristol was just as eager to slap that down.
"No! We broke up after Tripp was born. I'm over it," she said. "I'm a single mom…I've moved on, I have a wonderful life."
As for Bristol now, she says that her brief time in the spotlight has helped her understand her mother's plight a bit more.
"I see how rumors get made up," she said.
But while she'll appear on a couple episodes of her mother's new show, Sarah Palin's Alaska, there'll be no love lost over the ratings battle between their dueling reality programs.
"We are competing for ratings!" she laughed. Sarah Palin may be playing for both teams on that one, as she'll once again be floorside for tonight's show.
So is Hollywood for this self-avowed "good girl," or is it back to "calm and clean" Alaska for her?
"I love Alaska," she said. "I don't know where Tripp and I will end up."
Though in 10 years, Bristol—who made clear she has absolutely no political aspirations—said she'd like to be "married with more kids."
And possibly working….at E!?
"Hosting!" Bristol told her interviewer extraordinaire Rancic of what she could see herself doing in the future. "Your job would be fun!"
Look out, Giuliana.