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    Week in Review: How Awe-Inspiring Is Charlie Sheen?

    Awe: A mixed emotion of reverence, respect, dread, and wonder inspired by authority, genius, great beauty, sublimity, or might.

    Which completely explains the feeling triggered by someone like Charlie Sheen, who's rushed to the hospital after god-knows-what happened in his Plaza suite on Monday and is back at work kicking ass by Thursday.

    Combine that with no charges, no rehab and—so it seems, anyway—not a whole lot of shame, and you're looking at the Scandal of the Week! How does he do it?!

    PHOTOS: Hottest Pics of the Week

    SCANDAL OF THE WEEK: Wherefore art thou, Charlie Sheen? You're the highest paid sitcom star on TV, you're on probation for getting rough with your now estranged wife, and your ex and two daughters are sleeping in the fantastical Eloise Suite right down the hall! But perhaps the night just wouldn't have been complete without a name-juggling porn star for company. Goodness knows, you like your company. But obviously company and your prescription meds don't mix.

    WEDDING OF THE WEEK: Katy Perry and Russell Brand blew the roof off an Indian tiger sanctuary, swapping vows in style—and disruptively, according to authorities—in Jaipur. Rihanna is sorry she missed it.

    NONWEDDING OF THE WEEK: No, Kourteney Kardashian and Scott Disick did not elope. Nor are they expecting another baby, nor is anything else happening that you can't get the general gist of from watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians.

    BACKLASH OF THE WEEK: A few Shape readers didn't take too kindly to the LeAnn Rimes cover story about how "working out saved her life" when all the stress from the breakup of her marriage—and the breakup of her boyfriend's marriage—was taking its toll. So the editor apologized for offending anyone, promising that putting "a husband-stealer on a pedestal" wasn't her intention...Marie Claire also took a big thumping from Sharon Osbourne.

    BUMP OF THE WEEK: Mariah Carey finally admitted to being pregnant, and we found out that she had in vitro at the same place that catered to Jennifer Lopez when she got pregnant with twins.

    DAMN SHAME OF THE WEEK: The beautiful Portia DeGeneres revealed on Oprah that at one time she was eating only 300 calories a day to stay thin.

    SPLIT OF THE WEEK: Penn Badgley and Blake Lively have finally admitted that Dan and Serena don't translate to real life...Also, Carrie Mulligan and Shia LaBeouf have parted ways.

    RUMORED HOOKUP OF THE WEEK: Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal, of course! Fresh from penning tunes such as "Dear John Mayer," the songbird plays coy with Ellen DeGeneres' probing relationship questions...Also, Matthew Morrison assures us that he and Cameron Diaz are just friends...Carrie Mulligan and this bearded fellow?

    BABY BOOM: Céline Dion's healthy twin sons, Nelson and Eddy, arrived just ahead of schedule...Another daughter arrives for Matt Damon and wife Luciana...Twins for Top Chef Miami finalist Brian Malarkey...Khloé Kardashian Odom's got babies on the brain.

    GETTIN' HITCHED: Blossom's Jenna Von Oy married consultant Brad Bratcher...True Blood vamp Mariana Klaveno engaged to fiancé Luis Patino.

    GETTIN' UNHITCHED: Miley Cyrus' parents, Billy Ray and Trish, are divorcing after 17 years of marriage and one megastar reproduction...Randy Travis divorcing wife/manager Elizabeth after 19 years...David Arquette endearingly keeps spilling his guts to Howard Stern about the end of his marriage.

    Robert Downey Jr. Jeffrey Mayer/WireImage.com

    HAUNTED PAST: Having been branded forever a recovering addict, Robert Downey Jr. inevitably gets lumped into things like the Mel Gibson-Hangover 2 controversy, prominently featuring Zach Galifianakis, and Charlie Sheen's latest foibles no matter how much evil he fights as Iron Man or mysteries he solves as Sherlock Holmes.

    DECISIONS, DECISIONS: PETA will pay for Lindsay Lohan's rehab if she goes vegan, while an online porn site will foot the bill if the actress lets them use her name as a marketing tool to help peddle the other, other white meat.

    LAW & ORDER: Howard K. Stern found guilty of conspiring to illegally obtain prescription meds for Anna Nicole Smith...Randy and Evi Quaid released from custody in Canada, but want to stay in the general vicinity...T.I.'s wife charged for their L.A. drug bust; T.I., lucky him, skates...Eddie Cibrian's ex arrested for DUI...Tyra Banks secures restraining order against wannabe fiancé...Former Food Network chef cops to attempted solicitation of murder...Model Jessica White busted for battery...Former America's Got Talent contestant busted for drugs, "person of interest" in wife's death.

    CIVIL AFFAIRS: Black Eyed Peas sued twice...Sacha Baron Cohen sued again...Eva Longoria and Tony Parker sued...Joe Jackson ruled to have no say in the handling of Michael Jackson's estate.

    Project Runway Season 8 Final 3, Gretchen Jones, Mondo Guerra, Andy South Kannie Yu LaPack, Lifetime

    TV LAND: Gretchen beat Mondo on Project Runway!...A Peru joke made by Sofía Vergara on Modern Family has pissed off Peru...Audrina Patridge was unexpectedly voted off Dancing With the Stars, and her mom took it hard...Inside the Glee Christmas album...TLC orders another season of Sister Wives because one is never enough...Talk show hosted by Brett Favre's former New York Jets text pal gets the ax...CBS mischievously schedules Paula Abdul's Live to Dance opposite American Idol (Kid Rock might not watch either one)...Kara DioGuardi's new job...Jude Law accents Sesame Street...Regis and Kelly play the Kardashians for Halloween!...Oh, Kendra, making up nicknames and turning down Playboy...President Obama did The Daily Show...SPOILER ZONE!

    SCREENPLAYS: A Charlie Chaplin mystery, in this day and age!...The head-scratching MIssion: Impossible 4 title...The repetitive third Batman film title...More work for Betty White...True Blood's Ryan Kwanten playing the latest incarnation of Charles Manson...George Clooney directing and starring alongside Ryan Gosling in The Ides of March...James Cameron planning two Avatar sequels...The Hobbit is staying in New Zealand...Justin Bieber plays himsef in Never Say Never trailer.

    MUSICAL NOTES: Katy Perry's sparkly "Firework" video...Fergie stars in Slash's "Beautiful Dangerous" video...Ke$ha's Halloween-appropriate album cover...Taylor Momsen blames technology for last week's flash photography...More from Miley's "Big Bang" video...Madonna is opening a chain of gyms...Michael Jackson is still earning more money than almost everyone...Bristol Palin in Static Cycle's "Inside This World of Mine" video...Kanye West's Runaway short film.

    HEALTH CARE: T.J. Lavin's condition improving as he awakes from coma...The Real Housewives of Orange County's Vicki Gunvalson suffering from ulcers...Daryl Hannah talks being almost institutionalized.

    FAREWELLS: James MacArthur, Det. Danny "Danno" Williams on the original Hawaii 5-O, died of natural causes at 72...James Wall, Mr. Baxter on Captain Kangaroo, died after a short illness at 92...Alexander Anderson Jr., creator of Rocky and Bullwinkle, died of Alzheimer's complications at 90...Gregory Isaacs, reggae singer, died of lung cancer at 59.

    SEEN: Ryan Gosling puzzling over a Rubik's cube...Robert Pattinson making the students' day via video at the Taft School in Connecticut...Taylor Swift immortalized in wax at Madame Tussauds in NYC...Christina Aguilera making a promotional appearance for Burlesque at, not living at, the SLS Hotel in Beverly Hills...Sean Penn accepting the Humanitarian Award at the Hollywood Awards...Sofia Vergara dining at Madeo's in L.A. with boyfriend Nick Loeb...Brangelina and the kids taking in the local scene in Budapest...Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez hand-in-hand at the Mercedes Benz Carousel of Hope gala in Beverly Hills.

    HAPPY HALLOWEEN: Celebrity Costume Craziness!

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