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Conan O'Brien Will Not Be Denied His Masturbating Bear!

Conan O'Brien NBC/Mitchell Haaseth

With all due respect to O.J. Simpson and Anna Nicole Smith, this would truly make for the trial of the century.

While Conan O'Brien will be returning to the airwaves on Nov. 8 when Conan launches on TBS, less set in stone is who—or should we say, what—will be coming along for the ride, thanks to some lingering issues with the Network That Shall Not Be Named (OK, fine, NBC) over some pesky intellectual property issues.

And sorry to say, the Self-Pleasuring Panda just won't cut it for CoCo.

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"If there's something we did for a long time that we've established as ours, we'll figure out a way to do it," O'Brien assured Rolling Stone. "I won't be denied my Masturbating Bear!"

It's a point he's apparently willing to fight all the way to the courtroom.

"What I really wanna do is be sued over the bear and then appear in court with the Masturbating Bear. 'Your Honor, this bear can't help himself!'"

Now there's a courtroom sketch the world would be better off not seeing. Incidentally, for those concerned over the fate of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, the Robert Smigel creation has such a life outside of Conan's empire that it's unlikely NBC can lay claim to the critter.

And in what can only be a good sign, both characters appeared—and unless the court system is on a massive delay, without any repercussive lawsuits—on the Night of Too Many Stars earlier this month.

That Conan mask can stay where it is, though.

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