Normally Wendy Williams reserves her "Hot Topics" segment for important stories about celebrities getting drunk and saying things. But this morning she threw us a curveball when she covered the amazing story about the Chilean miners who have been trapped underground for months and are due to be brought to the surface today. But, it's still The Wendy Williams Show, so she covered the angle there was absolutely no need to cover.
So you're saying they don't want women now, but rather their sexual urges can only be sated by the mysterious backwards reading Mole-Beings that live a mile beneath the earth and have secretly controlled the world since 1865 when King Molasaur I hired John Wilkes Booth to shoot Abraham Lincoln? Oh wait, you're just saying they're gay. Well that makes more sense. Disregard everything we just said. We were clearly joking. There is certainly no such thing as Mole-Beings and we have never pledged our allegiance to King Molasaur VIII.*
*gnol evil gnik ruasalom!