There's no denying the grave importance, the dynamic intensity, the sheer life-or-death struggle involved with stars dancing in a televised competition. An overwhelming number of factors hang in the balance, and now, with the formidable addition of the circular stage, disaster on an unimaginable scale is always lurking with the next enrosque leg pivot.

Step aside, Hindenburg. Move over Katrina. And for God's sake, make sure we've got FEMA on speed dial.

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