Bitch-Back! What's the Big Gay Deal?

Jake and Adam, Rob and Kris—what’s wrong with being called gay?

Dear Ted:
Your tweet about Adam Levine having a "snit fit" about Jake Gyllenhaal being called gay, I find it to be ridiculous. Thank God someone is taking a stand about the most juvenile idiotic comments being made just because guys hang out with their male friends. It's disgusting. Robert Pattison hangs out with his childhood friends—and now he's sleeping with them? It's posted on your boards every day. Every day Rob is referred to as being gay when it's obvious that he has a girlfriend and has been seen with no other female but Kristen. This thing of calling people gay or insinuating that their gay via B.V. is not funny. How do you defend your Blind Vices when you insinuate Rob is gay? If not, you need to make it clear it's not true because postings show the opposite. I hope Adam never shuts up about this idiotic crap that's going on. Thanks Adam for calling folks out!
—PhillyGirl

Dear Out-and-About:
Ya, thanks Adam for calling Jakey out, or back in? Let's be real, we love any bromance business, but bringing up the BFF out of the blue was semi-pushin' it. As for R.Pattz, male or female at his hip we're not hatin'. He can sink his teeth into whatever he wants, but I'm guessing he prefers a Stew-ier kind of blood. Oh, and Vice-mister, they aren't blind for nothing. Revamp your radar and get to re-reading those B.V.'s.

Dear Ted:
I am sorry to say but I am done at your board. You say you are Rob and Kris fan yet you do nothing to stop all the crap said about Rob being Nevis Divine and being with both Tom Sturridge and Kris. Or Kris being Terry Tush-Trade. I am sick of the haters on here saying mean and sick things about them and your B.V. do not help and you do nothing to stop it. You really are not a fan of theirs. All it would take is for you to flat out say they are not N.D. or TTT but you won't because it will end this stupid game of yours. You are just as bad as the Nonsten and haters. I really thought you were better then Perez and Lainey. I guess I got played.
—AngMurph

Dear Angry with a Chance of Hater:
As much as I hate to throw a cliché your way, you must be hatin' the player, the game and the bench warmers. For the record, I'm none of the above so get to reading the Awful playbook. It's not about being Team Robsten or not, it's all about how bad gossip makes the best offense. Plus, I love Robsten almost as much as all my BV victims, who so give me something to babble about.

P.S. Bad goss always comes in first.

Dear Ted:
I know you aren't going to out the poor girl, but I am writing anyway. Jennifer Love Hewitt is Cass Stimulatia. Honestly, I fear that I really do have too much time on my hands if I am combing through IMDB for information regarding a Blind Vice on a Friday night. Oh yeah, I live in Iowa.
—Iowa City Jen

Dear I-OWE-YA:
That's actually not a bad guess girlfriend. But JLH's biggest problems are here career not...down there.

Dear Ted:
Why is it that there's so much controversy over Tiger Woods and Jesse James for their cheating, but some skanky dudes like Brad Pitt get a total pass? It all seems like douchery to me. Perhaps, if your new mistress is into over-the-top performances regarding refugees, the Hollywood is a bit more forgiving? Ugh.
—L

Dear Dabbling in Doucheland:
As much as we wish they would just stick to their entrees, those side dishes come out sooner or later. Or at least girls claiming to have a one night wonder with said celeb. Brad and Jen's marriage was over before Angelina, 'tho we don't think that excuses B or A for picking up early.

Dear Ted:
Help a tween-gossip loving college girl and her two adopted kitties out! I feel like all of the young Hollywood girls are serial daters (hello, Demi Lovato seen with Rob Kardashion now? And lets not even mention Taylor Swift) but why can't my love Selena Gomez find a nice hot man to cutely walk down the streets holding hands with? The girl's adorable and I want some really hunky and manly guy to treat her right (not string her around like Nickypoo)! Like maybe if Ryan Gosling were younger. That kind of guy! Anyone you can think to set her up with, or reasons why she's been so single since Nick.
—Francie

Dear Kitty Cat:
S. isn't a serial dater because she's too busy munching on her cereal in her jumpin' jammerz. Don't get me wrong, the wiz kid's a sweetheart, but she's acting her age. Probably because she's trying her best not to join Miley on the whole Britney Spears' not a girl, not yet a woman hype. A nice hot man for Selena? Not 'til she realizes she's 18 and doesn't need to date a JoBro. And, trust, a JoBro she does not want. We hear she's much more into average Joes.

Dear Ted:
So we've established that the men of True Blood don't have any bad blood, but what about the women? There's a lot of semi-nudity and I'm sure there are talks of the ladies being jealous of each other's bodies.
—Doli

Dear Bloody Wrong:
Does it really matter as long as someone is getting naked? These girls are professionals, no emotional baggage on set.

Dear Ted:
In yesterday's B.B. you told us that like Toothy, JJO's career would be over if he decided to come out. But we all know that Toothy is an A-lister, and one of the very first things you told us about Judas is that he is at the same star level as Chad Michael Murray. I think that puts him pretty far from A-list level, so wouldn't Toothy have a lot more to lose? What is it about Judas that puts him in a position where revealing his sexuality would end his career?
—Confused

Dear List Lover:
Correct, Toothy has a way hotter career than JJO. But Judas has some pretty dedicated fans that would have no problem ditching their idol in the homo dust. Sad.

Dear Ted:
In the first Terry Tush-Trade Vice, you talked about how Terry had an "also-famous partner" that also likes to swing both ways. Is TTT still romantically involved with said famous partner?
—Hayley

Dear Swing-and-Miss:
Which one?

Dear Ted:
I just finished the Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins. Amazing, really. I heard Collins herself is writing the screen play. My question...what do you think of Kristen Stewart as the lead Katniss Everdeen?
—J

Dear Sci-Fi Junkie:
I see how you get the K.Stew vibe, with her anime-like features and all, but do you think she really wants to go from vamp to apocalyptic? Kris may look the part, but playing it would mean never leaving the fantasy movie world, ever. But, if she wants to hang up her soon-to-be fangs and stick around the magical scene, the A.T. will still have her back.

Dear Ted:
Let's say Seymour Plow-Me-More's adventures went public in a major tell-all. Would he finally be able to walk away from "whoever" has been holding them over his head? Or would they come to his defense to try to keep him loyally in the fold?
—Bec

Dear Have 'em in a Headlock:
If, and that's a big if, Seymour's stuff ever went public expect SPMM to be on his own.