Pollapalooza! Sex Talk, Skanks and Stinky Eggs

Results from our latest batch of polls

By Ted Casablanca Sep 27, 2010 1:59 PMTags
David Beckham, Ashton KutcherJuan Soliz, PacificCoastNews.com, Don Arnold/WireImage.com

Might as well name this month Sexed-Up September because everybody's hormones seem to be running wild lately. If it's not James Franco blabbing about his bedroom behavior to anyone who will listen, it's tabloid rumors about Ashton Kutcher and David Beckham's pants. Not to mention True Blood busts galore and some good old-fashioned house egging.

So what did you horny readers think of all this scandalous dish? Read on for the über-gossy results on a few of our most recent polls:

1. You can't duplicate Skarsgård's sexiness.

We thought the True Blood toys were totally silly, but most of you didn't feel the same way. In fact, more than sixty percent of you thought the toys were just totally lame (though admittedly some thought, to quote cjules1st, "they look better than the Twilight action figures! At least these ones look like the actors!")

Others, such as user why, were just completely baffled: "Why are these being made? Is there really a market for these? Who would buy them? Maybe 2012 will happen. If there is a segment of our society that would purchase these, then we are in trouble if this is reflective of our world."

Well somebody sure is a grumpypants. But leave it to our resident hornball, BobNYC, to focus on the important things: "No legs?!? At least they show the guys' crotches!!! Yum, yum! I'm salivating as I type this."

We don't doubt that, Bob. Not one bit.

2. Paris Hilton and Mel Gibson, be warned!

After Dina Lohan's house was (finally—uh, we mean sadly) egged, we asked which of H'woods many d-bags would be next. And, while the obvious answer to choose all the above—as MOnty pointed out—wasn't an option, excuse making Paris Hilton and Mel "just shut up and b—w me!" Gibson split the votes of the eligible candidates.

Though, some readers had different plans in mind for M.G. Raleigh says: "Mel Gibson treatment of women should earn him tons of eggs thrown at HIM not his door."

Hey, we're not going to argue there. Hell, we might even egg you on to douse the douche in yolk!

Other popular write-in suggestions were Kate Gosselin (duh) and poor Snooki, who's never done anything but poof her hair and stumble around Seaside, New Jersey. Give the guidette a break!

3. James Franco knows sex sells.

James Franco wants Bella and Edward to "consummate that relationship" just as much as Jackson Rathbone. He also masturbates a lot and would tell us if he were gay. All in all, J.F. has been talking about sex non-stop lately! So we popped the Q about why exactly he had so much horny biz on his mind and almost half of you said nothing sells like sex sells (especially since he's got two movies to pimp).

Others were still dubious of all his dish, saying "Overcompensating! Definitely trying to hide something" and "When people are too vocal about sex it's usually because they aren't....getting any? Maybe that's his problem."

But we'd find it hard to believe that Mr. Franco would ever have trouble finding some nookie action. Especially since some of you hot and bothered readers were so willing to help:

"I would do him and Robert Pattinson at the same time. Sigh" – Hotties

"iF HE NEEDS "A HAND" i WILL VOLUNTEER" - mschultz

4. Nobody tells the truth when scandal is involved!

Who's cheating on whom! How much does a hooker get paid! It's been quite the week for both Kutcher and Beckham, both of whom strongly deny tabloid rumors saying they've strayed from their wives. While the deets are still dirty on both accounts, we thought we'd figure out who you tend to believe when it comes to tabloid tales of cheating.

And more than half of you said nobody—neither the star nor the mistress—are believable in the sitch. We tend to agree, too. (Some of you also dittoed the fact that it's totally crazy for Becks to be paying for sex, as beckhams says: "i agree with ted the girl should be paying him if its true, its david effin beckham").

Others were just totally bummed by the news, such as not sure who cried: "Love both of these men. I hope it is not true.I would have a hard time not watching any more of Ashton's movies. He is so adorable and funny on screen. I love Beckham and Victoria. Hope Demi is OK. Beckham has little kids, this must be awful for the family.If 1 thing comes out of this be safe everyone at all times! "

Total bummer. But here's the real deal, as wisely fessed by Prufrock, "Tough call on if these guys are innocent. Prior to Thankgiving weekend last year, I would have thought Tiger Woods was innocent."

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Find all the previous polls in our polls section!