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Soup Top 5: America's Next Top Model—She's Sweet, Hot, and the Size of Frankenstein

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We know how hard it is dealing with the tense countdown to the release of Space Chimps 2: Zartog Strikes Back, so here's a little something to help keep your mind occupied. The best of an unbelievable week of Soup.

1. America's Next Top Model: Being thin, hot and Amazonian isn't all it takes to make it to the top of the modeling heap. For hopeful Ann, she must deal with a pain of monstrous proportions.

2. Live With Regis and Kelly: In his chronically failing bid to stay in touch with the youngsters, ol'Reeg tries to lay a little hipster acronymical slang on Blake Lively. And fails.

3. Donald Trump: The generous Trumpster is going to help our nation's unemployed as only he can. Meaning, giving a single person a job as his fake TV show apprentice while promoting Donald Trump. Here he reveals his efforts are sparked by the story of a woman with a legal degree who can't get a job. The truly shocking part? She's hot. And still can't get a job.

4. Bridezillas: Can a sophisticated young lady from San Francisco find true love with some schlub from Mississippi? Probably not, but a Bridezilla from San Francisco can.

5. Thintervention With Jackie Warner: Stacy is a big gal in desperate need of Thintervetion. Luckily, she has the support of her tubby pal Nikki. With support like this, she might as well head back to the buffet.

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