Glenn Beck, consider yourself served (for the umpteenth time) by Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert.
The Emmy-winning Comedy Central funnymen, they of the dueling majorly huge forthcoming announcements, announced tonight that they're planning their own National Mall rallies on Oct. 30, Stewart's "Rally to Restore Sanity" and Colbert's "March to Keep Fear Alive," for the 70 to 80 percent of you out there who care about the issues but who also "have s--t to do."
Rebuttal rallies, if you will.
"A real gathering!" Stewart promised. "We will gather on the National Mall in Washington, D.C., a Million Moderate March, where we take to the streets to send a message to our leaders, and our national media, that says, 'We are here! We're only here though until 6, because we have a sitter.'"
"A clarion call for rationality!"
A response, perhaps, to Beck's Aug. 28 "Restoring Honor" rally on the Mall, a supposed tribute to the nation's founding fathers, which coincided with the 47th anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech and attracted roughly 87,000 people?
The significance of Oct. 30, Stewart said, is...well, The Daily Show was already going to be in Washington then, so... hey, it works.
And if you don't have time to make signage, ones will be provided with catchy slogans such as, "I disagree with you, but I'm pretty sure you're not Hitler" and "Got competence?"
Both of which should come in handy for the Colbert Nation denizens also in attendance.
Colbert pulled out all the stops for his announcement, superimposing his head on Lincoln's body and making it rotate, Exorcist-style. He was applauded by a "reasonably concerned" Stewart for his efforts.
"Book your room now, or your children will turn gay!" Colbert warned the audience, eyes ablaze.
"No, no, that is not the result!" Stewart insisted. "They should book their rooms now, because it will be more difficult to get a good room if you wait."
"Damn your reasonableness!" Colbert replied.
In conclusion, Colbert reminded his faithful: "Now is not the time to take it down a notch. Now is the time for all good men to freak out for freedom!"
Hollywood does like to get political, doesn't it?