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    Bitch-Back! Is Kristen Bell Dating a Dud?

    Kristen Bell Michael Kovac/FilmMagic

    Dear Ted:
    Kristen Bell
    seems a very sweet, funny and hardworking young lady. What is she doing with Dax Shepard? Wasn't he a Blind or "prominently" featured in one?
    —Rita

    Dear Ring a Bell:
    Bingo on all things Bell...truly dig this chick. And hate to say it, but I'm superexcited for You Again. Looks a bit corny, but it boasts a truly impressive cast. As for Dax, well, sure he's got some Vicey secrets, but that doesn't mean he's a horrible dude. Plus, he's got that whole sense-of-humor thing working for him. Girls dig that, right?

    Dear Ted:
    This is ridiculous! I'm all for Lindsay Lohan hosting SNL, but would they seriously rather have her host than Robert Pattinson or Kristen Stewart? I understand Kristen might not be interested in doing live TV and that Robert is nervous as well, but it's up to SNL to convince them! I guess Lorne Michaels must be living under a rock and not have seen K.Stew in the hilarious Adventureland or Rob's amazing MTV Movie Awards promos. Is it really too much to ask to get the two biggest stars for young adults on a supposedly hip show?
    —Proud Rescue Pup Owner

    Dear Saturday Night Fight:
    Rob and Kris won't do it, babe. As perfect as they'd be, it's not a matter of SNL not trying hard enough (why do you think they ended up with Taylor Lautner)—let's just keep rooting for that Entourage cameo for Robby. As for Linds, I'd actually be excited to see her host the late-night show again 'cause she always does well. She was in the original Debbie Downer skit and did a hilar turn as a skanky Hermione.

    Dear Ted:
    I need an update on my fave H'wood girl! Do you know if Brit and her vanilla-version of Justin Timberlake are the real deal? I would love to see my girl truly happy in her love life. Jason is no Justin, but he seems like a cool enough dude and he's good with her boys. While we're chatting—what the heck is wrong with Dashed Dingle-Dream! Settling for crumbs from Judas Jack-off when he was once offered the whole dang cake (as in wedding)? Is he so sprung that he's willing to take what he can get?
    —Donna

    Dear Love vs. Lust:
    Brit seems to be happier than we've seen her (despite minor bitchiness in Hawaii), so if you can chalk that up to the Jas effect, then I'm rooting for the guy. He seems low-key and responsible too, which the gal needs. As for Mr. Dingle Dream, well, I guess you could say he's desperate for some JJO in his life. Jud is a hard guy to get over.

    Dear Ted:
    So, after seeing those pictures, I'm thinking Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams would be the perfect couple. I think she's the only person I could accept him dating besides Rachel McAdams. What do you think?
    —Tay

    Dear Rachel Redux:
    Keep rooting for it, 'cause I could actually see this one happening. And it's probably a good sign that their celeb couple nickname could be "Willing." Jeez, that'd be like the most gorgeous duo ever though.

    Dear Ted:
    What do you think of the situation between Laurence Fishburne and his daughter? He seems to want to help her, even though embarrassed by her actions, but is coming up cold hearted. After watching a documentary on porn valley, I shudder at the thought of any of my siblings ending up working there. What are your thoughts on this situation?
    —C

    Dear Tough One:
    Of course, he's embarrassed. And what do we do when we're embarrassed? Usually say the wrong thing.

    Dear Ted:
    Thanks to your intrepid insights and saucy stories, we're enthralled by the, shall we say, "duplicity" of so many of our fave stars, and trust, we love it! Would you indulge a 50 Cent fan and confirm if he's ever sung a B.V. tune?
    —R-Train

    Dear Cent for Your Thoughts:
    Not only is 50 one of our fave hip-hop alums, but he's also a member of the highly prestigious Blind Vice Superstars. Come to think of it, this dude is one of my personal fave Vices.

    Dear Ted:
    I think that Jeremy Renner is great. He grew up in my hometown and constantly comes back here to support the arts and our city in general. He's doing a Q and A about his new movie with Ben Affleck this Saturday night downtown. Now, I will be heartbroken, but I have to ask: Any skeletons in his closet?
    —Katy

    Dear Your Q, My A:
    No really nasty skeletons, Katy. Rest easy, I'm a big fan of your hometown boy.

    Dear Ted:
    Did J.Lo get the American Idol judge's spot just because she's friends with producer Nigel Lythgoe?
    —Moo

    Dear Love Don't Cost a Thing:
    Connections never hurt in this town, duh, but J.Lo is mega-suited for the position. She's a bit crazy à la Paula Abdul, but also has so much Industry experience that she can actually give the kids some good advice. Plus, her career isn't exactly red hot right now, so it'll be a good boost back to fame.

    Dear Ted:
    I think Pepper Harthman is Lance Armstrong. He could be called a "ball player" in a sense.
    —T

    Dear Tour de Pepp:
    So wrong, T. On multiple levels...one being that Lancey-poo ain't Pepp. Though they've got similar levels of fame within the sporting world, household name-type stuff, you know.

    Dear Ted:
    Out of all three Jonas Brothers, which one is most likely to become a B.V. first?
    —Kim

    Dear Bro Code:
    What's to say one of them isn't already?

    Dear Ted:
    Who is your favorite True Blood couple? I mean the actual couples in the series, not the off-set romances/rumored romances that pop up on gossip mags. Mine are Jessica and Hoyt Fortenberry or Sookie Stackhouse and Alcide. Any changes of these onscreen couples turning into real romances?
    —Doli

    Dear Bloody Truth:
    Bill and Sookie, of course! And it's blasphemy to say anything else. Plus, Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer are the only ones likely to hook up offscreen ('cause they're married, natch). Alcide's Joe Manganiello already has a hottie GF anyway.

    Dear Ted:
    I'm surprised that a stylist or designer hasn't grabbed Mark Salling and started dressing him. He's adorable, but those cotton Henley shirts are not appropriate for every occasion. Or is he trying to look like he's still in high school? Because Lea Michele certainly isn't! Hope Charlie's doing better
    —XXOO

    Dear Dress to Impress:
    While, truthfully, the bad boy looks pretty damn good in anything he wears, I wouldn't mind seeing him dressed up more. Thanks for the kid thoughts on Charlie. She's still adjusting to the new digs but is doing well.

    Dear Ted:
    Did Kelsey Grammer's recent divorce from his wife have anything to do with her joining the cast of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? I can't believe he was supportive, or happy, about this blatant act of fame whoring. She always did seem to want the spotlight, such as butting into interviews on the Emmy red carpet when she should have just been standing there with her mouth shut and a smile on her face. Her appearance on this reality show just seems like her last ditch effort to ride Kelsey's coattails into fame. Got any inside info?
    —JR

    Dear Real Househusbands:
    I'm sure it didn't help, but that's definitely not the duo's only problem.

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    _______

    Check out more mail in our archives for plenty more bitchin' and Blind Vice clues!

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