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    Bitch-Back! What Was Rihanna Thinking?

    Eminem, Rihanna Kevin Winter/Getty Images

    Dear Ted:
    Do you not find some unjust irony in the fact that everyone was so concerned about Kanye's misbehavior toward Taylor Swift last year. Yet no one thought twice about Rihanna singing a song about domestic abuse when she had the Chris Brown incident just last year? I find all the concern over Taylor's ruined prom queen moment and the utter lack of concern about how Rihanna is handling her past really gross to be honest. Do you see any troubling implications about this like I do?
    —K        

    Dear History Repeating:
    Artists channel their pain into their work, which is clearly something Rihanna has done since last year (just look at her much darker sophomore album). I guess you could say the same for Taylor, though obviously to a different degree—her whining about her shiny moment being ruined—but I think you can rest easy with Ri-Ri. She's millions of miles ahead of where she was, personally and artistically.

    Dear Ted:
    Any more clues on Pepper Harthman? What's he been up to?
    —F

    Dear Benchwarmer:
    Well his sleazy s--t hasn't hit the proverbial fan yet, so I'm sure he's thrilled about that. But there's plenty of naughty business going on behind the scenes in the Harthman home. Stay tuned.

    Dear Ted:
    Are you not as pissed as me over Catherina Zeta-Jones remarks to People that she doesn't go with Michael Douglas to chemo treatments 'cause she can't bear to see him suffer? Way to not stand by your man! Someone should call this slag out on that one!
    —GGRosey

    Dear Jonesing for Trouble:
    Can't hate on the babe. People handle trauma in different ways, and it's not my place to judge. She obviously cares a lot about her fellow and is heartbroken by what he's going through, so I don't think you can say she's abandoned him.

    Dear Ted:
    I love you dearly, and need your help. Can you please shed a little light on something for me? Why the hell do all—OK, almost all—the blog sites and gossip mags jump on the "Rob and Kristen are dunzo" bulls--t wagon? Can't people have jobs they enjoy and give themselves to wholeheartedly? Can't people in love ever be apart? Just ask any military spouse—I know a few. It's pathetic and annoying.
    —Me in N.Y.

    Dear Splitsville:
    To up their site hits, of course. Until all the Team Robsten fans who flip out at even the smallest tidbit about the duo stop giving these sites the attention they want, they're going to keep making up stories about the Twilight stars.

    Dear Ted:
    Love the column and your animal activism! I think Katy Perry and Russell Brand make a good couple. However, it seems like Katy is professing her love for Russell everywhere she can, but I haven't heard much from Russell about his feelings for Katy. Is he as into her as she is into him? And do you think this couple will last?
    —GymStar

    Dear Branded for Life:
    Trust, the love is mutual both ways. K.P.'s just got the bigger mouth—if you can believe that. Oddly, I do see this couple lasting the long haul. They've both got some dirty little secrets, but nothing I don't think they can work through.

    Dear Ted:
    I gotta say, Nevis Divine may just be one of my fave B.V.s ever. But my question is actually about his BF. So is Barrington gay...or bisexual like his BF?
    —Cici

    Dear Who's Bangin' Bang-Me:
    Bi, but aren't all the down-low guys in town?

    Dear Ted:
    In most photos, Jon Hamm and Ben Affleck's body language screams sexual chemistry to me...am I onto something? Or should I just stop the hot cocoa? I trust in you, do not disappoint.
    —A Tell It Like It Is

    Dear Hammleck:
    Only in our gay dreams, doll. Love those two (obviously Hamm more than Benny).

    Dear Ted:
    I think I know who Bertha Rose is, but I need a few more clues. As to not be considered greedy, let's start with just one for now. Has she ever won an Academy Award, or has she only been nominated? Love the work you do for the furry friends. I have a very allergic daughter, so none of the furry ones in our house, sadly.
    —CinnamonGirl

    Dear Rose of Any Other Color:
    Isn't it an honor just to be nominated?

    Dear Ted:
    Why does hottie Orlando Bloom dress like he's ugly? Just wondering.
    —Endrid

    Dear Bloomers:
    Are you talking about that silly hat he wore when receiving his honorary degree or in his day-to-day life? 'Cause I think the former was standard, but otherwise he's mostly sweaters and grunge, the standard uniform for the young and hot in Hollywood—just ask R.Pattz.

    Dear Ted:
    Since she's been bragging about how her daughter is the "greatest actress of our generation," why doesn't Dina Lohan get in front of the camera, act and win a Razzie?
    —MooKind

    Dear Dina-saurus Rex:
    Why bother doing anything when she can collect a pretty penny by pimping out Linds?

    Dear Ted:
    So, my wife is out of town for the week, and I'm home with our four-legged children: Rikka, our rescued Dalmatian and Derby, our boxer. We're watching New York, I Love You, which I never even knew existed, but it's good so far! Hayden Christensen, Bradley Cooper and Orlando Bloom are all in this flick. So, it got me thinking: Do any of these guys have B.V.s?
    —Robin

    Dear Blind Vices, I Love You:
    All three, but I think you already knew that, Robin. Have fun with your pooches!

    Dear Ted:
    It seems like there are certain actresses who go from one bearding relationship to another. Is it possible that they, too, are gay? Everyone assumes that it is the man who is using the beard and she is getting fame in return. But is it ever a mutual bearding situation? By the way, I'm sure that my first kitties, Romeo and Scarlett, are taking good care of Cleo in catnip heaven.
    —Arlene

    Dear Les-Be-Beards:
    Some of ‘em, sure, but more often than not, it's the fame game, A. And hell, sometimes it's the combo deal: hide your sexuality and boost your IMDb ranking. Thanks for the nice words about Cleo!

    Dear Ted:
    I'm from New Zealand and love reading your site—especially the Blind Vices. I was just going through some old ones from before I came across it, and found Seymour Plow-Me-More. Sorry if this has already been asked, but any chance it's David Beckham? Considering the amount of women claiming to have slept with him I'm unsure, but everything else fits. Sorry to hear about Cleo as well, I'm sure she got her angel wings.
    —Curious Kiwi

    Dear Sey-ing Double:
    Nope, Dave is a B.V. of a whole different genre. Sey is less hunky, in the traditional sense.

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