It's the People (of New Jersey, presumably on behalf of the world) vs. Snooki. At stake: common sense prevailing, and the possibility of jail time for Jersey Shore's head guidette.
That's right, in case you hadn't already marked your calendars for this momentous day in reality TV shenanigans, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi is due in court later today for the trial of the century: she faces charges of disorderly conduct, being a public nuisance and—we'll never forget this one—criminally annoying others.
Is it too late to make this a class action suit?
The trouble all started for the 22-year-old back in July, when a day of filming (and, it follows, marathon drinking) on the boardwalk resulted in what we can only assume was quite the classy face plant in the sand and her subsequent arrest on the trio of charges—being annoying, for those wondering, is a municipal ordinance violation.
Keep that in your back pocket for the next time you want to make a citizens' arrest.
Last month, an attorney for the reality starlet appeared in court on her behalf and pleaded not guilty—and with a straight face!—on all three counts.
Today she faces the music herself, as she's due to appear in the Seaside Heights courtroom to face a jury of her peers. Can't you just smell the Aqua Net already?
Still, Snooki isn't exactly looking at hard time should she be found guilty. If convicted on all the charges, her fines would total no more than $3,200, though she could also get slapped (um, as it were) with 30 days in jail.
Which is clearly no place for America's Sweetheart.
"I'm too pretty to be in jail," she told MTV News. "I'm a good person. I'm not a criminal and I will never go back there."
Besides, Snooki's antics were all in good, TV-friendly fun…right?
"I don't know why people take it so seriously. I had a couple cocktails, and they just put me in a drunk tank to sober me up."
Behold, the future of America.
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