Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck

Jim Spellman/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
Every time a J.Lo jam comes on, I have to dance. Whenever The Wedding Planner is on, I put the remote down and settle in for some goodness. I'm a J.Lo megafan. I was heartbroken when Ben Affleck and Jennifer broke up, and I was incredibly confused when she went running to Marc Anthony. Something seems off with the two of them. Is my love for Bennifer blinding me to what's really there between Jen and Marc, or is something missing?

Dear Loopy for Lopez:
Love the saucy diva too, R, so you're not alone there, but let me just say I'm shocked that the original Bennifer still has loyal fans. Which is why it pains me to say that while there was plenty more heat between Jenny from the block and her one-time Boston babe, she's way more in love with Marc. No matter how icky I sometimes think he is.

Dear Ted:
Why is everyone saying that Robsten has broken up because Kristen Stewart didn't want Robert Pattinson around her in Montreal and Argentina, due to which they have parted ways and that if Rob doesn't show up at effing Garret Hedlund's birthday party—which K is supposedly attending—it will just confirm that they are done for good? I seriously hate people who spread this kind of s--t but at times you can't help and wonder what the truth is...Please help me out 'cause I love Robsten like crazy and wouldn't want them to break up.

Dear Hedlunding for Trouble:
Must say it's totally perplexing how much Team Nonsten is losing by, and yet they're still able to get those loyal Robsten folks all riled up with the rumor of the day. Need I even tell you that this one is just as much BS as the rest?

Dear Ted:
Any dish on Evangeline Lilly? She likes to stay out of the tabs, so it's hard to get any juicy gossip on her! Has she ever been a Blind Vice?

Dear MasturKater:
More like a Blind Vice adjacent. But much love for E, we totally heart her!

Dear Ted:
Question, if one of your B.V. stars did something huge—say for example, a gay B.V. star married his beard—would you immediately write about that under their guises or wait a little while? Or would you just not write about it at all because it would give too much away?

Dear Tie the Knot:
If I wrote about it immediately, don't you think it'd be a bit obvious? But if a bearding turns into a not-so-holy matrimony then of course I'm going to dish the deets. Just look at Hardland Fuss.

Dear Ted:
I don't know if this guy is even on your radar, but what's the deal with Rob Dyrdek? I have to admit: My Saturday-morning laundry routine is disrupted all too often by Rob and Big marathons. However, I picked up the latest Maxim, and after reading the interview with him, I get the impression that he's less of the affable, benevolent dude he plays on TV, and he's more of a douche. Am I putting too much thought into a reality-TV character?

Dear Sk8r Boi:
Go with your gut instinct on this one, R. Don't you know that reality TV is just a low-budget acting gig? While Rob isn't the worst one out there, he can definitely be a D-bag at times. He does live in Hollywood after all.

Dear Ted:
Wouldn't it be easier for Princess Lea Michele to start acting respectfully toward her fans rather than spend money, uselessly may I add, on extra PR? You have to face it, if you want to get the fame through red carpets and tabloid "leaked" stories, you have to be nice and available for pictures and fake smiles. If you only want to be recognized as a serious actor with a quirky attitude toward the public, then work on your craft and stay out of the public eye. If you can't, all the PR in the world ain't gonna help: If not through the Awful Truth, which we adore, than through tons of other bloggers who dish on bitchy diva attitudes.

Dear Mincing Michele:
That's not the way she sees it, doll. Lea figures as long as she's got the pipes to be the Glee powerhouse and giggles her way through enough interviews, no one will believe any of the dirt scrounged up on her behind the scenes. She's starting to see that's not the case though and is working on getting her ‘tude in check...for now, at least. We'd take Lea over a dull Hollywood bimbo any day though.

Dear Ted:
Do you think Danneel Harris is pregnant?

Dear Baby Ackles:
No. And I don't think she wants to be anytime soon either.

Dear Ted:
You mentioned previously that Dianna Agron and Lea Michele have "little drama" between them. Any hint as to what that entails? Also, what do you think about them being dubbed "Achele?"

Dear Mean Girls:
Nothing drastic, there's drama in every friendship and on every set. Mind you, when you mix in H'wood egos, things become a bit more complex, but it's nothing too out of the ordinary. Think it's totally hilarious that these gals are getting pegged into a romantic relaysh because they're besties. Happens to the dudes in this town all the time, why not give the gals a turn?

Dear Ted:
Matthew Bomer
has been around for a few years in Chuck and Traveler, but I am absolutely in love with him on White Collar. I am a straight (bi-curious) guy, but I can't help looking at him and drool a little. Any juicy gossip on him?

Dear Poofing for Bomer:
No goss that hasn't already been circulating forever. Way sexy though, not a bad choice to get you all bi-curiously hot and bothered for. I'm sure you're not the first guy who's gotten a bomer over him. I mean, well, you know what I mean.

Dear Ted:
Ashton Kutcher
has become way too old since he's married Demi. I mean, the guy is actually funny. One of my favorite movies with him in it is Dude, Where's My Car? I mean, I know he's older than he was then, but the guy's only 32! Just because he's married to a 47 year old doesn't mean he has to act like one. Do you think he'll ever do anything as stupid and cheesy as Punk'd and Dude again?

Dear Driving Miss Demi:
He didn't work hard to get his beach bod so he could star in (hilarious) stoner flicks like Dude, Where's My Car? Ash wants to be seen as funny and sexy, with an emphasis on sexy. That's not Demi's fault though.

Dear Ted:
I've been wondering, what have Jackie Bouffant and his beard been up to lately? Is she ready to set him free and find a real man?

Dear Bouff-Be-Gone:
Please, Miss Bouffant will definitely not be the one to end this relaysh. Not in a million, billion years, Bonn. Half the reason this babe is even snapped in pap pictures is because of her arm candy BF.

Dear Ted:
No question here, but just wanted to point out that Uma Thurman was fully clothed in a nice yellow sweat suit for the majority of her ass kicking in the Kill Bill movies.

Dear Kill Bill, Clothe Uma:
Who knew Quentin Tarantino had it in him?

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