Has there ever been anyone who has fallen from grace—and subsequently hoisted her ass back up—more times than Paris Hilton?
Mom Kathy Hilton told us awhile ago that, in a nutshell, daughter Pare-Pare is, "dumb like a fox." And oh, how brilliantly true that description is. After all, mama knows best, right?
Y'see, Paris' recent, er, incident with la coca is just another opportunity for her to show off how slyly she deals with all the, er, incidents in her life:
1. She keeps her friends close, but the media closer.
You might laugh at the gal who sends texts and emails to reporters in the third person ("Sources say that Paris had a great time with her new boyfriend" is something she might send out), but one thing is for sure: Paris knows exactly how to keep reporters at no more than at text-message's length. She notoriously takes journalists out to lunch every friggin' week, and they love her for it. Where's our invite, sugar-stuff?
2. She keeps a contact everywhere she goes.
While Lindsay Lohan runs around Hollywood like a bewigged chicken with its head cut off, Paris isn't usually too messed up to at least establish some kind of connection with someone everywhere she goes. This includes clubs, bars, hotels, entire villages. That way there's someone to protect her, or to run to, at every corner where trouble almost always lurks.
3. The "dumb" thing throws people off.
Paris isn't actually the Simple Life girl we fell in
love like with all those years ago. That's not to say that she's a rocket scientist, but for anyone who's met her, they know that there's a level of, let's say, show business that the girl puts on. And again, we'll reiterate that she is not a rocket scientist. But she's also not the "I thought it was gum" girl that you think she is. This will be bad news come court time, unfortunately.
4. She knows the art of reacting.
Paris isn't a one-trick pony who will give the same denial or look dumbfounded when every little road bump hits the little Hilton. While she might act stupid with one arrest, or play the crying game with another, or even give a casual wave-off to a less important tabloid scandal, she's always keeping it somewhat believable. And you know that if Lindsay's reaction to scandal is going to party at Colony, Paris will be sitting at home, "devastated"—and telling absolutely everyone with an iota of media connection about it.
5. She's finally discovered what she's good at.
There was a time when Paris tried to solely emulate her famous entrepreneurial lineage, conquering the entertainment/product-placement business with cameos, biz endeavors galore, guest-hosting gigs, and even attempts to do the musician, reality star or supporting actress thang. A simple leggings/suntan-line girl she is not. But it's been about two years since Hilton mostly stopped the efforts, and we've been more tolerant of her for it. However, she's since focused on her socialite status, and that's the only reason she got to be famous in the first place, isn't it?
We smell the rebirth of Paris in a matter of seconds. OK, maybe months...or years. Don't forget, it's in her blood.
—Additional reporting by Taryn Ryder
Behold! The many faces of Paris Hilton!