To catch a thief, young Hollywood edition.
Most nightclubs would be thrilled to have the kind of celebrity lineup an L.A. County grand jury was treated to in June when Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Rachel Bilson and their fellow victims of an ambitious team of homegrown burglars showed up to testify about their individual, yet collectively unsettling, experiences.
Lindsay left the night of the break-in and never came back. Bilson slept downstairs for a month. Audrina Patridge hid in the closet. Orlando Bloom was appalled that they went through his underwear. Hilton has "majorly" stopped hiding her key under the mat.
According to newly unsealed court documents, here's how they felt when their space was invaded:
Read the grand jury testimony:
The accused perhaps pioneered their technique at Hilton's gated-community home, which was hit in December 2008, before the same happened to her fellow scenesters.
The now-embattled heiress testified that she probably didn't set her alarm because she used to feel "so safe" in her residence, "like no one could ever get in." She still lives in the Mullholland Drive-area manse, but she has since upgraded her security system and now "never would ever" leave her key under a doormat.
Lohan took time out from her own pending legal troubles to testify that she was only away from her rented L.A. house for a few hours on Aug. 23, 2009, when she came back to find everything "pretty much disheveled." (Not to be confused with the attempted break-in the previous May.)
She said she remembered running back into the house to grab something before she left for good, and she couldn't remember whether she set the alarm or not.
Suspect Nicholas Prugo showed up on her surveillance camera, though, clearly enough for a friend of Lohan's to recognize Prugo while they were out in Hollywood one night.
"I just felt, to be honest, so violated and uncomfortable that I literally packed as much stuff as I could because...it was just the fact that someone came into the only private space that I have in my life at this point," Lohan said. "So I left that night and I still have not gone back to that house."
Bloom, whose house was hit in July 2009, while he was in New York, called it "an awful, awful violation."
"It's a very weird thing," he explained. "You know, [Miranda Kerr's] property, my property, my underwear...you know, everything. Personal items...things that I cherish and treasure...You don't know until it happens, but it's an awful thing to go through."
Brian Austin-Green, whose handgun was stolen from the house he shared with now-wife Megan Fox in September 2009, said he never saw a sign of forced entry and suggested that the perps got in through a "large" doggy door in the kitchen.
Like the others, Bilson testified that she saw no signs of forced entry and, while she did have an alarm system, it wasn't on at the time of the break-in.
"My mom checks on my house when I'm out of town, and we have always sort of lived a very...trusting lifestyle," she explained when one juror asked why the alarm was turned off.
Bilson, whose possessions were plundered while she was on vacation in May 2009, recalled that she was "crying and, you know, a little horrified" when her mom called to tell her that the O.C. star's L.A. home had been burglarized.
"It's really a feeling of violation and invasiveness," she said, describing the scene in her bedroom when she returned home: "Everything was out on the floor, drawers were pulled out, just totally scattered, and everything was in disarray."
Bilson said that she only got a few things back, including clothing belonging to her "boyfriend at the time" (wait, she and Hayden Christensen were already on the outs in June?!), but never again saw her mother's engagment ring, given to her when she was 16, and various other "irreplaceable things that were sentimental."
"I wouldn't stay in my bedroom for about a month," she said, choosing instead to sleep downstairs.
Things sucked high up in The Hills, too, according to Audrina Patridge, whose house was hit in February 2009. She had recently returned from a trip to Australia and she testified that her still unpacked luggage was wheeled right out of her bedroom in full.
"I locked myself in the closet," Patridge said, testifying that she immediately called her sister, telling her, "I think someone broke into my house."
The smarter-than-some reality-TV star—who was ultimately able to identify two of the suspects from surveillance video recorded on her property—said that she threw on a robe and drove to a nearby gas station, where she stayed until police had arrived.
Here's another rundown of the burglar bunch's massive haul:
• Designer handbags, shoes and accessories (Chanel, Louis Vuitton, Hermes, etc.)
• Jewelry and watches
• TV sets
• High-end makeup and perfume
• Orlando Bloom's rug
All of the celebs who testified identified photos of stuff found in the suspects' possession as their personal belongings.
Pretty Wild star Alexis Neiers, who crossed paths with Lohan in jail while she was serving 30 days for her role in the Bloom break-in, pleaded no contest to first-degree residential burglary but has since denied any wrongdoing.
Another six suspects have pleaded not guilty and are awaiting trial.
Check out our Fashion Police gallery to see clothing that remains safely in the stars' possession.