Bitch-Back! No Way Naya and Mark Aren't BFFs

Readers are having a hard time hearing the Glee cast isn’t perfect

By Ted Casablanca Aug 30, 2010 12:01 PMTags
Mark Salling, Naya RiveraAmanda Edwards/FOX

Dear Ted:
I'm a little bothered by the new low standards of the news media. Once upon a time a story couldn't run unless facts were checked. The Naya Rivera-Mark Salling story seems like innuendo/gossip more than it is actual fact. The instant media craze is killing ethical journalism.
Ethics

Dear Ms. Morals:
Imagine that, gossip on a gossip site! What's next? All hail Twitter, it's the truth of everything!

Dear Ted:
In a Bitch-Back, you answered that Jensen Ackles was a close guess to Harland Fuss, so I gotta ask. Is Harland Jared Padalecki? Aside from the close association to Jensen, the time frame from Jared meting, dating, getting engaged to and then marrying Genevieve Cortese was really short.
—L

Dear Close, But Not Close Enough:
Sorry, darling, that's a no. Let's just say Jensen and Harland both have adorable dimples.

Dear Ted:
What's the deal? Can you give me any good reason why you haven't revealed Twyla Babe-Sucker yet? The Blind said she had a rocky relaysh and that she was considering hooking up with her costar. You said in a tweet that she ditched the boyfriend so what would be the harm in revealing her? I think we all know, at this point, that she hooked up with her costar. You've said it numerous times. A loyal reader wants to know...what's the hold-up?
Sam

Dear Great Revelation:
That's not a bad idea. What will you give me if I do?

Dear Ted:
Regarding Blake Lively and Vogue. I totally agree with you that she had way too much covers. But...she is perfect if you want to play Blake Barbie. And don't think for one minute that it doesn't have anything to do with the role she's playing in Gossip Girl. Her character is the one that is least ridiculed, most positive and perfect for targeting young audiences. Her personality is one of a window shop mannequin, perfect to hang cloths on her. As far as Victoria Beckham is concerned I think she has to wait a little longer for her cover. She just started to lose her window shop mannequin personality. Although she supports celebrities as fashion icons. I guess Anna Wintour has different "fashion" standards.
Xtine

Dear Fashion Smashion:
Blake has great fashion thanks to the amazing stylist team on Gossip Girl. Everyone forgets that half the time we see Blake in pap shots it's friggin' Serena. Anna just likes to be worshiped, and that Lively does. But die for her hair.

Dear Ted:
Does the future Twilight tell-all author have a Blind Vice?
—FS

Dear Writers Block:
Duh! Then again what Twilight star doesn't have a Blind Vice?

Dear Ted:
With all these Mariah Carey pregnancy rumors (which I highly doubt-let the poor girl eat a sandwich, will you Hollywood?) my rescue kitty Izzy and I were wondering: What is the deal with her and Nick Cannon? Frankly, we never expected it to last this long, and we're curious as to whether you know the real deal between these two.
JBoie

Dear Odd Couple:
Mariah needs to dominate a relationship and Nick certainly doesn't mind. It actually works out pretty damn well! M.C. is a legend in the music biz; everyone forgets just because of a few unflattering shots. What has Nick Cannon done? He knows what he signed up for, and they seem happy by Hollywood standards.

Dear Ted:
It was great seeing you on Geraldo the other day. Though I don't totally agree with your position (I probably fall somewhere in between you and the guy you were debating). I have to say it was nice to see you as you normally are, as opposed to the campiness (that's a compliment) in your Truth, Lies & Ted. It helps to personalize the guy who writes the B.V.s I am totally addicted to. Good job! Wait...did I just get through an email to you without pawing for B.V. clues? It's a miracle!
H

Dear TV Tuner:
That you did! And much thanks for the compliments babe, flattery will get you everywhere here. Or at least in print.

Dear Ted:
I don't enjoy Taylor Lautner that much and even I think this "Lautner Hissy Fit" story is a bit of a stretch! You say, Lautner's people responded that he's too busy. If his "people" were the ones to respond like that then common sense tells you Lautner wasn't the one having a hissy fit. It sounds like Lautner's agent/manager/whatever was the one trying to make Lautner sound super busy and important. Cut him some slack. If the quote were from Lautner, himself, I could see what you're talking about, but it wasn't. I still love you though!
Heather

Dear Flack:
PR are mouthpieces for a reason! If Tay wanted to do Ryan Seacrest, he would. What Lautner wants, Lautner gets. Except for a trailer apparently.

Dear Ted:
We just lost our beloved pound puppy, Mr. Duke, aged 14. He was the best dog ever, and I wish to thank the staff at our local humane society for their compassion and kindness. Here's my question. Just caught a classic Bogey and Bacall movie last night. It got me to thinking about other "classic" Hollywood couples. Do you think there were just as many Blind Vices back in the golden age as you have now?
-KikiTopaz

Dear Good One:
Too fun! Yes, but I think they were much more in the open about it...drugs, sex and more sex.  

Dear Ted:
What is your problem with Lea Michele? You can't let any story go by without mentioning you think she's a diva. Grow the ef up, Ted. And oh crap! I bought eggs at the store last night! I hope no one accuses me of egging a car that doesn't even exist!
Anna

Dear Team Girl:
Um, we love Lea Michele and her attitude. Hence the mentioning. It's a good thing to be in this blolum, darling!

Dear Ted:
I might be the only mega-fan out there...but I love, love, love Keanu Reeves! My guess is he has a few B.V.s! Any hints? I hate to whore out my pets for answers but I will if I have to!
—Twi-crazy Canuck

Dear Vintage Blind:
Oh, you bet Keanu's been a Blind Vice. A while back, too.

________

Way more BV clues straight from Ted in the Bitch-Back section!