How interesting how low our Toothy-Tile-era, wildly talked about bisexual Blind boy Harland Fuss chose to lay for several years. So much so, he decided to go and get married! Gosh, do you think Harland really isn't into the boys, anymore?
Well, you know, certain habits die hard:
See, Harland just decided—based on his continued ho-hum career performance—that he needed to amp things up a bit. And if he couldn't haul out any more blockbuster projects, he'd simply try the get-married-and-procreate path. After all, that sometimes works for fading, closeted gay stars who are looking for a tabloid leg-up with their popularity, right?
Uh, not always, as poor Fey Oiled-Tush has discovered. But, we digress.
Harland just hasn't been able to quash his man-on-man desires (hard as he's tried, poor thing). And what with his career hitting the back-burner 'n' all, he decided not that long ago that he'd do the domestic dance, find a chick to fake-tango with and see if he could muster back up that ol' bedroom eyes thing. Onscreen, mind you.
Because the deal is (and, trust, there is a deal here, folks) that Harland's beard was promised a career-boost herself, in the arrangement. And she, like a lot of desperate wannabes in this business, bit. In fact, she chomped on the behind-the-scenes opportunity so fast, Mr. Fuss, always a more thoughtful dude than Tinseltown's used to, wondered what the hell he'd gotten himself into.
But it was far too late to go back on his devil-dealing scenario.
Follow @theawfultruth on Twitter!
Photos: Blind Vice Superstars!