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NOT-SO-SECRET VAMPIRE FETISH OF THE AMERICAN TEENAGER: The Twilight Saga, Vampire Diaries and their hottie-potottie stars were big winners at the 2010 Teen Choice Awards. Fantasy come to life, anyone? How' bout a nightmare or two?
BIG MOUTHS: Jennifer Aniston dished it back to Bill O'Reilly and his family "values"...Dr. Laura Schlessinger apologized for sticking her foot in her mouth as never before...One day Taylor Momsen will look back and wonder what she was thinking.
NIGHTMARE: Fantasia Barrino denied being a witting homewrecker but was apparently distraught enough by the accusation to try to take her own life. Thankfully, she's out of the hospital and we hope she's ready to rid her system of all toxins, not-quite-separated men included.
FISHBURNED: Montana Fishburne (@mfishburne) isn't tweeting under any other name, but Laurence's estranged daughter is still spreading the gospel about her burgeoning career in porn. And aside from probation that keeps her from "loitering" in Hollywood, Montana is also dealing with the legal repercussions from allegedly breaking into her boyfriend's ex's house.
GO LO-FRO: Lauren Froderman won the seventh season of So You Think You Can Dance and she's sharing the prize money with her Mia Michaels-endorsed behind.
BABY BOOM: Alanis Morissette and hubby Mario "MC Souleye" Treadway getting the nursery ready...Rod Stewart and wife Penny Lancaster prepping for No. 2 (and seventh for Rod)...Kelsey Grammer already expecting with new girlfriend...Jason Schwartzman and wife Brady Cunningham awaiting their first...Kendra Wilkinson-Baskett and hubby Hank getting ready to try for No. 2.
WEDDING BELLS: Robbie Williams tied the knot with Ayda Field...See James Van Der Beek rocking his yarmulke.
BROKEN BELLS: Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen end engagement...Jonathan Schaech and Jana Kramer's union barely lasts a month...Thomas Jane and Patricia Arquette giving divorce another try.
KEEPING UP: Big winners, all...Kourtney Kardashian in a "good place" with Scott Disick...Even Kris Jenner has some nice things to say about her grandson's father...The fruits of Kim Kardashian's photo shoot with Justin Bieber...Kim taking it slow but steady with Miles Austin...Peep the cover of Kardashian Konfidential...Preview season 5 of Keeping Up With the Kardashians.
LAW & ORDER: Jennifer Aniston gets a restraining order (not against Bill O'Reilly)...Leonardo DiCaprio's alleged face slasher pleads not guilty...Foxy Brown facing jail time again...No jail for Juvenile...Jail still a possibility for Rip Torn...DMX released from jail, rearrested within hours...Redmond O'Neal's slate cleaner after completing rehab...Ex-Bachelor contender cuffed for DUI...Ex-American Idoler busted for rumbling at a club...George Michael should find a chauffeur anymore...Paris Hilton sued...Mia Farrow's version of events concerning blood diamonds is different than Naomi Campbell's.
MAYOR OF WHOVILLE: Levi Johnston is shooting a reality series that follows him as he gets into local politics. Though a show about him getting into local pants would be more interesting (and, so we've read, eventful).
TV LAND: Kanye West will perform at the MTV VMAs. Expect staged Swift revenge...Britney Spears and her music coming to Glee... adds to Neil Patrick Harris' nominatin tally...Snooki insists that President Obama knows who she is...Wedding possibilities...Idol speculation...Entourage packing it in after eight seasons and, perhaps, a movie...Real Housewives of Orange County divorces Lynne Curtin...Silly, skinny Housewives...Sofia Vergara not interested in looking like Madonna...Meet the Survivor: Nicaragua cast...Jennifer Love Hewitt all beat up for Law & Order: SVU...SPOILER ZONE!
DAYS OF OUR LOHANS: Lindsay Lohan's Facebook presence grows in her absence...The judge in charge of her case stepped down...As rumors that Lindsay may get out of rehab super early start swirling, Michael Lohan says Dina Lohan is the one who needs help. Wonder if Matt Lauer agrees.
SEEN: Ali and Roberto, being adorable in Beverly Hills...J.Lo's jewels...Kellan Lutz enjoying Lady Gaga's L.A. show...John Travolta and pregnant Kelly Preston dancing at a Celebrity Centre for Scientology party...Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake canoodling at a Hollywood club...Kim Kardashian dining with Serena Williams at Il Sole in West Hollywood after the Teen Choice Awards.
FAREWELL: Oscar winner Patricia Neal died of lung cancer at 84...Husband-and-wife mime team Shields & Yarnell's fairer half, Lorene Yarnell, died of a brain aneurysm at 66.
E!, PREY, BITE ME?: A question for you.
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A lot of celebs are wearing shades, an indication of how hot it is in our Big Picture gallery.