Bitch-Back! Is Rob Bored Without Kristen?

Today’s mail bag is very Robert Pattinson-heavy...obsessed much?

Dear Ted:
What was with Robert Pattinson at the Teen Choice Awards? He looked bored, upset and uncomfortable the whole time. Was it because no Kristen Stewart?
—CHEER

Dear CHEERleader:
Could be. Could also be that (a) Taylor was sweeping the awards, (b) that the show took a damn long time to actually film or (c) a nasty rash. Or nothing at all. Calm down, I'd say.

Dear Ted:
Is it just me or is Zac Efron looking a little stoned and Rob-esque lately? The disheveled hair, scruffy face, constantly wearing sunglasses and a little broody in the facial expressions. He looks good, but it just seems weird to me...
—Ali

Dear Zac, Attacked?
You'd probably look a little less-than-your-best if you had to sit through Vanessa Hudgens in Rent too.

Dear Ted:
I absolutely love Tina Fey. She is smart, witty, talented and not to mention beautiful. She seems like the perfect person, but is there anything that makes her a little less perfect and a little more human?
—Mclamp

Dear Fey It Forward:
Sure, there are a couple of things, but I don't want to get any smudges on your golden idol.

Dear Ted:
There have been a lot of pictures showing up of Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Refaeli together in Italy. I know there are engagement rumors swirling around, but they always look so bored when they're together. Is that the case, or am I jaded by my jealousy of Ms. Refaeli?
—Hopeful Mrs. DiCaprio

Dear Hunk o' Leo:
Truth is, Leo and Bar aren't your smile-for-the-camera kind of celeb. They're not meanies, but they're in their own little romantic world. Which I think is just great, mind you. Kinda like Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel, just with more star-wattage, that's all. And hell, they wouldn't have extended their Euro vacay (which they did) if they were miserable together.

Dear Ted:
I admit to believing Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are a couple. This all being said, when they are no longer and have moved on romantically, do you think they'll still be pulling their cloak and dagger ways with their new loves? 'Cause I gotta admit, as much as I love them together, it'd be nice to see them display some normal PDA. What do you think, will they eventually loosen the PDA reigns?
—Don't Hate Me

Dear Quick Change:
Oh, they'll be the same, for sure. Unless their new squeezes are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, the public displays of coupleness are not gonna sprout up.

Dear Ted:
I hope you weren't poking fun at my girl, Emma Watson, for wanting to focus her attention on school. You said she's "one of those girls." I hope by that you mean a studious, put-together, stable, sweet, nice girl who won't limit her self to acting.
—Dizzy

Dear Brown Noser:
Of course! Sarcasm is so lost on the Internet these days.

Dear Ted:
Which B.V. have readers guessed the quickest since you first posted it? And are you glad that Toothy continues to baffle and intrigue the masses, or do you wish everyone would figure him out and move on?
—Detective Without a Clue

Dear Clueless:
Darling, if I told you who's been guessed correctly, it's a reveal! And for Toothy's sake, I wish he would just figure himself out and lead a much happier public life. Actually, I think he will.

Dear Ted:
I am all for more pointless polls involving Joe Manganiello...Joe vs. Brad Pitt; Joe vs. Hugh Jackman; Joe vs. a cute, fluffy puppy; Joe vs. a pillow case. Do not care! Any excuse for a shirtless Joe pic, I'm in. I think my undies just went "poof."
—Pam

Dear MANscape:
I promise, the second we get another shot of Joe and the fifty abs he has, we'll post it, especially for you...providing you don't ever say that about your "poofing" undies again.

Dear Ted:
I saw the pics of Selena Gomez and Taylor Lautner hugging and smiling at the Teen Choice Awards, and it came to mind that rumor had it they dated back in 2009! Could they make a comeback? I know there are rumors going around that he is back with his ex-girlfriend, but after seeing that hug and the way they rocked from side to side as they held each other, I think there might be something more than friendship going on!
—Livia

Dear Taylena:
I wouldn't be surprised, since both of them have been lacking in the high-profile relaysh department for the last little while. I'd call the odds at 10:1 that they're linked by the end of the year.

Dear Ted:
I loved your idea about Robert Pattinson and Sandra Bullock doing a comedy together. I wonder if they can pull off a romcom. Sandra is a sweetheart, and she's that good. I think she would bring some comic chops out of Rob.
—Cupcake

Dear Pullock:
Was there a question here?

Dear Ted:
I was wondering if you had any new information about Breaking Dawn?
—Brunette

Dear Breaking News:
The cast is pretty much as in the dark as ever, and I hear that there are still some kinks to be worked out script-wise...such as the hot, hot sex that must happen. Loved Malkin's idea of Bella's birth being filmed in 3-D! Can their sex scenes prior to that happy event be added, as well?

Dear Ted:
Vanity Fair named Robert Pattinson and Angelina Jolie the most handsome man and most beautiful woman in the world. It's only fair to see these two gorgeous actors work together. What do you think about Angie and Rob doing an action thriller together?
—Excited Freak

Dear Pattinson in Action:
As much as I'd love to see Rob get all Wanted like James McAvoy, that would mean another Angelina action flick...yawn. But you know me—I'll end up seeing it three times anyway.

Dear Ted:
I am extremely curious about Taylor Kitsch. I love him on Friday Night Lights and was wondering if he's the wholesome, down-to-earth guy he seems to be?
—Mrs. Riggins

Dear Kitschiness:
Errr...wholesome? Ehhh...

Dear Ted:
Lady Gaga admits to "occasional" cocaine use in Vanity Fair. Could this explain her recent weight-loss? Also, I know that Gaga is all about the shock and awe, but could her admission really be a little cry for help? The girl's exhausted and gaunt. What's your take?
—XOXO

Dear Lady in Waiting:
It could be, but who knows? The girl's always been too skinny for her own good. And if Gaga's gonna cry for help, it's most likely going to be through a bass-heavy dance beat.

Dear Ted:
I know the most commonly used adjective to describe Kathy Griffin probably isn't sweet, but I've actually been impressed with her attitude on her show! She seems like a kind and caring daughter, advocate, boss and friend. Please confirm for my cynical heart that this might actually be true in her case.
—Jxfris

Dear 95 Percent Satisfaction Guaranteed:
No surprises here. Kathy is, if not a little grumpy sometimes, 95 percent a nice gal! But you do not want to be anywhere near that other five percentile, trust.

Dear Ted:
Are other members of the Glee cast jealous of how famous Lea Michele has become? She does seem to be the breakout star, so I can imagine it could cause some tension.
—Forever

Dear Celebrities of Scale:
Breakout star, yes, but not breakout favorite. All the other Gleeks—Chris Colfer, Cory Monteith, Mark Salling, even our fave, Heather Morris—they're all more famous than they've ever been before. No need to be jealous!