The Teen Choice Awards are like elementary school sports: Everyone gets a prize just for showing up!
Or that's how it seemed as dozens of teen- and tween-friendly celebs packed the Gibson Amphitheatre Sunday to pick up 104 awards (17 of which went to productions with vampires in them) in six genres: movies, television, music, summer, fashion and—for the handful that fell just outside those lines—miscellaneous.
Since only two hours' worth of shenangians, hosted by Katy Perry and the boys of Glee, will be shown Monday night on Fox, many of those honors were doled out off-camera.
But don't worry, most of the awards that were given to Robert Pattinson will be seen in prime-time.
Pattinson won four surfboards, including Choice Male Movie Star of the summer for The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. He shared Choice Liplock, and Choice Chemistry with his absentee New Moon costar Kristen Stewart, also a four-time winner.
New Moon was, not surprisingly, the teens' Choice Movie, Fantasy.
The obliging Brit also got a special treat, being named Choice Movie Actor, Drama, for...wait for it...Remember Me, the nonvampire film he starred in last year.
And we got a treat, too, because Jimmy Fallon presented using his "Robert Pattinson is bothered" voice. Yay! He can do the whole Emmy ceremony like that if he wants.
Team Jacob also spoke up tonight, with Lautner topping Pattinson for Choice Male Actor, Fantasy, for New Moon and grabbing "miscellaneous" surfboards for Choice Male Hottie (the voters obviously mean business, because Megan Fox was Female Hottie), Choice Red Carpet Fashion Icon, Male, and Choice Smile.
And what do you know? The cast of Twilight was found to have the Most Fanatic Fans!
Still appearing to enjoy her return to the public eye (she was always in our thoughts!), Sandra Bullock was in the house to tote away a surfboard for Choice Movie Actress, Drama, for The Blind Side.
The gracious Oscar winner was also Choice Actress in a Romantic Comedy (not to be confused with the plain, old Comedy category) for The Proposal, for which she also shared the Choice Dance award with Betty White.
As for when the teens aren't out seeing movies...
We don't know what any of y'all did without The Vampire Diaries, which was named choice Fantasy/Sci-Fi Show, as well as Choice Breakout Show, and won surfboards for Paul Wesley, Nina Dobrev (choice actors in a fantasy/sci-fi series and choice breakout TV stars) and Choice Villain Ian Somerhalder.
Finding a little spot among all the madness to call their own were our very own Kardashian sisters, all three of whom were onhand to accept the surfboard for Choice Female Reality Stars during the untelevised portion of the ceremony. Kim, Kourtney and Khloé were also joined by little sisses Kendal and Kylie Jenner to accept for Choice Reality Series on behalf of Keeping Up With the Kardashians.
Kris and Bruce Jenner were upstaged in the Choice Parental Unit category, however, by Glee's Mike O'Malley. The fabtastic musical series was also named Choice TV Comedy.
On the fraternal side, the Jonas Brothers were collectively named Choice TV Actors in a Comedy for JONAS. Fellow Disney Channel star Selena Gomez scored Choice TV Actress, Comedy, for Wizards of Waverly Place, Red Carpet Icon, Female, and, crossing over into the music categories, Choice Music Group and Choice Breakout Artist, Female, for Selena Gomez & The Scene.
American Idol champ Lee DeWyze beat out Bret Michaels, Brody Jenner, Pauly D and The Situation for Choice Reality/Variety Star, Male, which is funny, because those last two nominees don't even sound real.
And congrats to E! News anchor Ryan Seacrest for being named Choice TV Personality, though we have a feeling his American Idol hosting duties played a minor role in his win, as well.
Meanwhile, we're not sure how angsty the teens can be these days if they're off listening to Justin Bieber, winner for Choice Male Artist, Breakthrough Artist (Male), Choice Summer Music Star and Choice Pop Album for My World 2.0; and jamming to Katy Perry's "California Gurls" (Choice Single and Summer Song).
That must be where Lady Gaga (Choice Female Artist and Summer Music Star) and Paramore (Choice Rock Group, Rock Album for Brand New Eyes and Rock Track for "Ignorance") come in.
Here's the full list of winners from the 2010 Teen Choice Awards:
Choice Drama: Gossip Girl
Choice Actress, Drama: Leighton Meester, Gossip Girl
Choice Actor, Drama: Chace Crawford, Gossip Girl
Choice Comedy: Glee
Choice Actress, Comedy: Selena Gomez, Wizards of Waverly Place
Choice Actor, Comedy: Jonas Brothers, JONAS
Choice Action Series: NCIS
Choice Actress, Action: Yvonne Strahovski, Chuck
Choice Actor, Action: Zachary Levi, Chuck
Choice Sci-Fi/Fantasy: The Vampire Diaries
Choice Actress, Sci-Fi/Fantasy: Nina Dobrev, The Vampire Diaries
Choice Actor, Sci-Fi/Fantasy: Paul Wesley, The Vampire Diaries
Choice Animated Show: Family Guy
Choice Reality Show: Keeping Up With the Kardashians
Choice Male Reality/Variety Star: Lee DeWyze, American Idol
Choice Female Reality/Variety Star: The Kardashians
Choice Reality Competition Show:
Choice Personality: Ryan Seacrest
Choice Breakout Show: The Vampire Diaries
Choice Male Breakout: Paul Wesley, The Vampire Diaries
Choice Female Breakout: Nina Dobrev, The Vampire Diaries
Choice Female Scene Stealer: Hilary Duff, Gossip Girl
Choice Male Scene Stealer: Chris Colfer, Glee
Choice Parental Unit: Mike O'Malley, Glee
Choice Villain: Ian Somerhalder, The Vampire Diaries
Choice Female Artist: Lady Gaga
Choice Male Artist: Justin Bieber
Choice Group: Selena Gomez & The Scene
Choice Pop Album: My World 2.0, Justin Bieber
Choice Rock Album: Brand New Eyes, Paramore
Choice Rock Group: Paramore
Choice R&B Album: Jason Derülo, Jason Derülo
Choice R&B Artist: Beyoncé
Choice Rap Album: Relapse, Eminem
Choice Rap Artist: Eminem
Choice Country Album: Fearless, Taylor Swift
Choice Country Group: Lady Antebellum
Choice Country Artist, Male: Keith Urban
Choice Country Artist, Female: Taylor Swift
Choice Single: "California Gurls," Katy Perry
Choice Hook Up: "Airplanes," B.o.B. featuring Hayley Williams
Choice Breakout Artist, Male: Justin Bieber
Choice Breakout Artist, Female: Selena Gomez & The Scene
Choice Love Song: "When I Look at You," Miley Cyrus
Choice R&B Track: "OMG," Usher
Choice Rap/Hip-Hop Track: "Love the Way You Lie," Eminem featuring Rihanna
Choice Rock Track: "Ignorance," Paramore
Choice Country Song: "Fifteen," Taylor Swift
Choice Male Hottie: Taylor Lautner
Choice Female Hottie: Megan Fox
Choice Red Carpet Icon, Female: Selena Gomez
Choice Red Carpet Icon, Male: Taylor Lautner
Choice Celebrity Fashion Line: Miley and Max, Miley Cyrus and Max Azria
Choice Twit: Ellen DeGeneres
Choice Web Star: Shane Dawson
Choice Videogame: The Sims 3
Choice Smile Presented by Invisalign Teen: Taylor Lautner
Choice Activist: Shakira
Choice American Idol Alum: David Archuleta
Choice Comedian: Ellen DeGeneres
Choice Athlete, Male: David Beckham (soccer)
Choice Athlete, Female: Serena Williams (tennis)
Choice Action Sports Star, Male: Ryan Sheckler (skateboarding)
Choice Action Sports Star, Female: Maya Gabeira (surfing)
Most Fanatic Fans: Twilight Cast
Though the surfboard for Fanastic Fans should have gone to whoever took the time to vote in all of these categories.
If you were a star and on the carpet tonight, you're probably in our 2010 Teen Choice Awards gallery!