Chris Evans, Johnny Depp, Jon Hamm

Solo/; Fame Pictures; Roger Wong/

Dear Ted:
Maybe it's because he's playing Captain America, but I think Chris Evans is the epitome of the all-American heartthrob right now, and I think we need more of them in Hollywood these days. Agree? Who else is an all-American, James Dean type?

Dear American Pie:
Oh, I so agree. All my favorites—Robert Pattinson, Hugh Jackman, Alexander Skarsgård—they're all so foreign! Lately I've been digging the Evans love, how about Sam Trammell, Ryan Gosling, Johnny Depp and Jon Hamm in the all-American mix?

Dear Ted:
I know that it may be illegal for you to tell me this, but is George Clooney gay? Please tell me, my mum thinks he is but I am not so certain. Can you tell me the truth?

Dear Tight Fit:
Sure I can—that's what I'm here for. And the truth is that he's straighter than the men's department at Target.

Dear Ted:
I know this sounds really awkward coming from a huge Robsten lover, but do you think there's any chance that Kristen will ever be more-than-friends with Taylor? I really hope not and I don't think so, but I wanted to ask you anyway.

Dear Switching Over:
Not a chance. Lots, and lots, and lots of reasons tell me that the two will never end up with each least not genuinely.

Dear Ted:
I still have the Twilight tell-all book/future screenplay on the brain and I've come up with some questions for ya. Is Nikki Reed just a bitter ex or is she a crafty attention-getter? She has to know that a tell-all will undoubtedly embarrass more than a few of her co-stars. Does she just not give a rat's ass or would the book simply be Fame-Whoring for Dummies?

Dear Nikkleback:
Nikki is so much more than that, doll! And what makes you think she's the tattle-tale. Such an obvious choice. Besides, Nik's a brutally intelligent girl—she just needs to harness that intelligence into projects like the one that put her on the map: Thirteen.

Dear Ted:
I know you've said that Terry Tush-Trade is into guys and girls but who is she more into right now? Her girl friends or her guy friend that she's bearding for?

Dear Bi Bi Bi:
Did I ever say that Terry was a girl? I don't remember. Did I? Oh well. And to answer your question, Terry's still equally entertained by both sexes. Always will be, something tells me.

Dear Ted:
What do you think about the movie coming out in August, called Vampires Suck? I think it looks hilarious!

Dear Parodizer:
Oh you know I'll be seeing it. I just hope they don't make too much fun of the Twilight crew...and you know they're gonna.

Dear Ted:
Just wondering what your take is on the "revelation" from Andrew Morton that Angelina was once hooked on heroin?

Dear Mortonography:
Shhh!!! I haven't read it yet! Don't ruin the ending!

Dear Ted:
Any chance Danneel Harris will ever cohost TLT again? I might be one of your only readers that adores her.

Dear Diggin' Danneel:
We'll see, babe. If the audience demands it, I'm sure the lovely Miss Harris-Ackles will stop by. I'm game, you?

Dear Ted:
When can we expect the Twilight tell-all to drop? How patient are we going to have to be?

Dear Waiting Is The Hardest Part:
You're gonna have to wait about as long as it takes to write the damn thing. Right now, it's just a fledgling patience is something you're gonna have to get way used to, dearest.

Dear Ted:
Did Jennifer Lopez sneak in and take away negotiations from Jessica Simpson on American Idol? There is one hell of a difference between Simpson and Lopez. Simpson is very likeable. J.Lo is stuffy and distant.

Dear Jenn vs. Jess:
Puh-leeze. You think the job would ever have actually gone to Jessica Simpson? I'd roll over in my not-yet-dug grave if that happened. J.Lo is sooo the better choice.

Dear Ted:
You recently said that Tina Fey runs the show on 30 Rock and acts accordingly. Does that mean she is a tyrant/diva?

Dear Rocksucker:
Not quite. She's gotta be the big mean boss lady, sure, but I also hear that Tina's a riot and makes that set a blast to be on. So I'm sure she has her days.

Dear Ted:
You mentioned that Nikki and Rob's brief "situation" didn't last long because there were some incompatibility issues there from the start. But am I wrong to think Nikki and Kristen are pretty similar personality and demeanor-wise?

Dear BUZZ:
Wrong. So wrong.

Dear Ted:
Could Moisty Mohr possibly be Donald Trump?

Dear Trumped:
Nope. Think slightly older (although heaven knows Donald doesn't really look his age).

Dear Ted:
I've said it before and I am saying it again. New Hollywood should take some lessons from Old Hollywood. If you want your private life to stay private or if you want the press to leave you alone by living a "publish and be damned" life, worship at the career-canny altars of two great friends—Roddy McDowall and "La Liz" Elizabeth Taylor. There have got to be some actors and actresses smart enough to get on that clue bus? Can you think of any in particular?

Dear Good Question:
No. Gay BFFs are ultimately so unhelpful, really. Only perpetuates the hurt.

Dear Ted:
You stated that Zanessa seems more plausible than Robsten, and when I read that my heart broke. I was a Robsten believer from the start when people were skeptic and I am pulling for them still today. Please tell me your reasons behind Zanessa being more "plausible" than Robsten.

Dear A to Z...anessa:
Suffice it to say there's moolah at work, not just heart strings.

Dear Ted:
So, January Jones—is she a jerk or just very private? She never shows to the crew activities, eats in the cafeteria or leaves her trailer in between filming. Everyone else is noticeable on the Mad Men set minus her. Scoop? Smoochies.

Dear Cold in January:
I've heard she's not the sweetest piece of candy in the bag, but hey, you gotta respect her privacy! Even some of Hollywood's hottest don't enjoy all the unwanted attention that comes with fame. I'll choose Answer B on this one.

Dear Ted:
I noticed that when you made your Twilight tell-all dream cast, Jackson Rathbone was left out. Was that intentional, meaning he has more secrets than the cast all together, or is it that he has little to none and it wouldn't matter if he wasn't involved?
—Lil M

Dear Casting Couch:
Babe, I don't even remember what his character's name is. I'm too busy reeling over how awful The Last Airbender was.

Want clues on Terry Tush-Trade and other B.V. stars? Check out the Bitch-Back section.


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