Can you remember the last time Amanda Bynes was in the news? Neither can we. But suddenly she's making headlines because she decided to pull a Miley Cyrus and skip out on her loyal Twitter followers, who's only crime was wondering whether A.B. likes black men (she's very attracted to them FYI) or trying to figure out what in the heck "BF" means.
Now, we love to get our tweet on, but there's always the question of which celebs are worthy of following (Amanda is a good bet for equal parts WTFs and LOLs). But given the massive influx of stars who flock to the social-networking site, we thought we'd take the time to help sort ‘em out for you.
Who's bonkers? Who's hilarious? Who's retweeting privileges should be permanently disabled? Check out the Awful Truth's guide to celebrity Twitters and then let us know which stars are making your personal trending topics:
The www.Self-Promoters.com: Whether it be a new movie, album or app on their iPhone (lookin' at you, Ashton), you can guarantee these celebs tweet almost exclusively about...well, themselves. They're out to promote the hell out of whatever they're up to these days. Or, in rare occasions, what their friend's daughter's godmother (you know, the one in that new Lifetime movie special about the meth-addicted veterinarian) is up to.
Examples: Ashton Kutcher, Tom Cruise, Diddy, Barack Obama
The 140-Character Comedians: Some celebs use their Twitters as an opportunity to deliver a punch line or give witty commentary on whatever happens to pop into their brain. And hey, we're not complaining! Funny folks like Conan O'Brien and Seth Meyers tickle our funny bones with their quick quips, a welcome addition to a sea of shameless RTs. But remember, like in stand-up, Twitter-jokes can bomb just as hard.
Examples: Chelsea Handler (and foul-mouthed pooch Chunk Handler), Aziz Ansari
The #OMG #Overly #Dramatic: You know those people who always have #drama in their lives? These celebs are just like that, only with a verified account. These Twitter twats always seem to be making excuses for some kind of ef up or, better yet, publicly declaring war on their estranged father or former same-sex lover. Bitch, whine, moan, complain...unfollow! Well, at least until the next late-night meltdown.
Examples: Lindsay Lohan (and, uh, Michael Lohan), John Mayer, Twitter's late Miley Cyrus
The That's-So-Not-Them Twitters: Blatantly corporate or blatantly PR intern? Either way, these mega A-list superstars aren't the ones trying to find the perfect hash tag to fit their afternoon Tweet. Instead, they leave those responsibilities to a trusty team who know the perfect time to throw a y'all on the end of a generic Britney Spears tweet.
Examples: Britney Spears, Ellen DeGeneres, Oprah Winfrey, the Dalai Lama
The @YOURECRAZY Crowd: Plenty of celebrities are kooky, but none stand out more than this bonkers crew. From previously retired Amanda Bynes' random late-night declarations ("those are my thoughts on jeans") to Jim Carrey's erratic WTF-inducing outbursts ("#BOING Mother F%*kers #BOING"), we just can't look away.
Examples: Amanda Bynes, Jim Carrey, Courtney Love
The Cell-Phone Photographers: Heaven forbid their dog walks an inch without them tweeting a picture of it. Sure, we love a good TwitPic from time to time (who doesn't?), but let's leave some things to the imagination. And captioning a picture of the beach with "Beach!" isn't worthy of anyone's newsfeed. Thank you very much, but we could figure out what the picture is, by, I dunno, looking at it.
Examples: Sofía Vergara, Khloé Kardashian Odom, Ryan Seacrest
The Fan Favorites: These are the people whom Twitter was made for. Celebs who eat up the attention of their fans. They update just often enough so their followers know they're alive, thus releasing the Fail Whale with their loyal legions' endless @replies and futile trending topic attempts. As far as tweeting is concerned, they've got an astronomical amount of followers for...well, no reason.
Examples: Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, the cast of Glee, Taylor Swift
The Cause Pushers: Charity whores, god bless ‘em. The ones who are always posting about corruption in business and politics or articles about their favorite new cause. The downside? Their 140 characters can become preachy or condescending. Yes, Marlee Matlin, we understand that lots of things piss you off.
Examples: Sophia Bush, Ian Somerhalder, Alyssa Milano
The Actually Interesting: People who actually go out and do stuff. Hell, most of it's normal stuff, but that makes for the best tweets in our book. These well-rounded and often relatable celebs, frankly, have things to say that are actually interesting. Consider them a combo of all the above categories, in the best ways.
Examples: Roger Ebert, Diablo Cody, Nathan Fillion, Joseph Gordon-Levitt
The Best Twitters You Will Ever Read: Consider it a plug for our witty mastery of pop culture. You gotta admit that the Awful side of things is the best side of things.
Examples: Ted Casablanca, Taryn Ryder, John Boone, Marc Snetiker
Oh yeah, Ted's on Facebook too!
Photos: Big on Twitter