It's been another humdinger of a week in Soupland, what with all the humming and dinging that just doesn't let up around here. So, in case you were somehow not paying rapt attention, we now offer you the best of what you missed.
Lady Gaga: Leave it to the Lady (a.k.a. Madonna Lite) to defile the sacred qualities of something we cherish. No, she's not dressing in a Willard Scott fat suit and covering herself with Smuckers, but let's just say we'll never think of Hello Kitty in the same wholesome way again.
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Bristol Palin: The baby momma of the Palin clan and her man Levi have been on-again off-again. Now they're apparently on, which is not only sooooo romantic, but will no doubt help Sarah become our next president. Anyway, thanks to Today, you can see what all of this has to do with corn dogs.
The Bachelorette: You can't marry a guy on a reality TV show without at least getting to know his parents. For, like, 30 minutes or so. Lucky Ali not only gets to meet bachelor Kirk's dad, but pay her respects to his mustache. And his basement.
The Real Housewives Of New Jersey: Wingnut Danielle must really be getting a nice paycheck from Andy Cohen. After dealing with all kinds of insults and backstabbing from the other classy Garden State gals, she now gets her weave yanked out by up-and-coming shrew Ashley. Can it get any realer?
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And speaking of Mel, take a look at these shots!