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    Bitch-Back! Are Miley and Liam Faking It?

    Miley Cyrus, Liam Hemsworth Matt Symons, PacificCoastNews.com

    Dear Ted:
    What do you think of Miley Cyrus' statements about Liam Hemsworth being anything but romantic? She says he only does romantic things because that's what he does in his movies and she can't find his gestures genuine.
    —Nikki

    Dear Cy-borg:
    Ah, you're just adding to the fodder for the big Niley reunion that I'm planning. Hittin' the newsstands September 2010, I say. Doesn't surprise me about Liam, though—how else is the guy supposed to get famous?

    Dear Ted:
    Something is just not right with the Britney Spears photo on the cover of this month's Cosmo. It almost looks like they Photoshopped her face on someone else's body.
    —Amanda

    Dear Mother Mode:
    Agree, it looks totally wonky, but via some intense tattoo inspection, the bod does seem to belong to Britster herself. Team Cosmo—or more likely Team B—must have liked the puss from one shot and curvy figure from another and tried to combine them into a sort of FrankenSpears. Makes you wonder what the ef the editor was thinking giving the OK on this cover. Tho to be fair, most Cosmo covers aren't exactly works of Photoshop magic.

    Dear Ted:
    I doubt Robsten will officially come out anytime soon, but do you think they will be more open with their PDAs?
    —Cara

    Dear PDA-list:
    Oh, they're already starting to, dearest. Stepping out on dates is the first step to some full-blown lip-lock shots that we're bound to get...eventually.

    Dear Ted:
    You haven't written about Morgan Mayhem lately. What is she doing this summer?
    —Q

    Dear Q's Question:
    Darling, Morg is trying to get her affairs in order. You know, the usual. Sort of.

    Dear Ted:
    It seems like there are two sides to Kristen Stewart. She seems kind of wild at times and curses like a sailor. Then this domestic, kind of motherly side. Which is true? Or can she really be both?
    —Dana
     
    Dear Dual Domestic:
    Oh, she's for sure both. Just because Kris isn't the typical girlie-girl who watches her mouth doesn't mean the girl can't whip up somethin' hot and special in the kitchen. We're still dying to try a piece of that pie!

    Dear Ted:
    I just love Ben Barnes. He's so cool and sexy. He ever been a B.V. star?
    —Angelica

    Dear Can't Touch Caspian:
    Nope, sorry, chica. The guy's just not famous enough—but greasy, he definitely looks.

    Dear Ted:
    I want to know if you and Taryn Ryder actually spend time reading the comments on some of your posts. I adore the whole "free speech" thing and all, but it seems like the Rob-Kristen posts attract some of the most hideous people I've ever encountered. Tell me honestly, have you ever encountered such dementia over a celebrity couple before?
    —Dizzle82

    Dear Comment Cleanup:
    Yep, we read your comments...and some of them are beyond nasty (to us and Robsten included!). Either way, R and K have garnered more fanatical "dementia," as you write, than anything I've seen before. And I've been working in this business since the dinosaurs (whoops, I mean since Harrison Ford). Even Brangelina hate blew over faster.

    Dear Ted:
    I am one of your older (67) male followers, so I'm never really gonna know who Toothy Tile is (damn), but Cruella St. Shackles has got to be Joan Rivers. She's had so much plastic surgery, if there ever is a resurrection, she'll show up with two bodies.
    —Weaver

    Dear Say It Ain't Joan!
    It ain't Joan. And how dare you think that Joan Rivers getting plastic surgery is Blind Vice worthy!

    Dear Ted:
    Danneel Harris recently Tweeted that the second-best thing about being married to the director is free candy. Any idea what she thinks the best thing is?
    —Jensen Fan

    Dear Jensen and Then Some:
    I have quite the idea. But who am I to air their dirty laundry?

    Dear Ted:
    I watch Entourage weekly and I love Ari Gold, but I was wondering why so many people do not seem to like Jeremy Piven?
    —Livy

    Dear Ari and Me:
    The Piv has been known to be quite the douche to some peopleand yet he's also friendly and fun when fans happen to catch him in a good mood. But after that Broadway stunt he pulled, his work ethic became legendarily diva.

    Dear Ted:
    Lindsay Lohan's verdict was justified. She missed court dates and didn't even bother to show up to her classes. This is a wake-up call for her and maybe she needs it. Look at Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie—they went to jail and cleaned up their acts. Granted, Nicole did only go to jail for a couple of minutes, but she has made a complete 180. She's a mother, is in a committed relationship and stopped her party ways. Meanwhile, Paris is now wearing underwear. Jail will give Lindsay the time she needs to focus on herself and her career by herself without anyone in her face, especially her mother and father.
    —Faye

    Dear Jailbird:
    Agreed, doll! If there's one thing jail will do for Linds, it's get her away from those horrid parents and give her plenty of time to sort out her life on her own, without paparazzi and familial nightmares. The only question is whether it's too little, too late.

    Dear Ted:
    Does the Yum-Yum family disapprove of naughty Miss Dallas?
    —Lauren

    Dear Yum-Yum and Me-Me, Sittin' in a Tree-Tree:
    Ah, those young horndogs! Tobey Yum-Yum's relatives approve of his flirtations with Me-Me only because she's been helping his career. We think Tobey's fam is Team Me-Me too.

    Dear Ted:
    Are Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato really over? Are they Britney and Christina, part deux? Someone said Selena called Demi a coattail rider, but what's the deal?
    —R

    Dear '90s Foe-back!
    I shudder to say it, but I guess you're right...This feud has '90s Brit and Christina written all over it. If that's the case, then we'll be seeing plenty more makeups and breakups between the two. These girls are never totally over. Just typical teen drama!

    Dear Ted:
    How big is R.Pattz? Is he bigger than Taylor Lautner?
    —Ju

    Dear Size Matters:
    Hmmm, what part of them are you talking about, love?

    Follow @theawfultruth on Twitter!

    _______

    There's more mail where this came from! Check out our Bitch-Back! archives.

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