Glee, Chris Colfer, Amber Riley, Lea Michele, Jenna Ushkowitz, Cory Monteith, Kevin McHale

Matthias Clamer/FOX

Dear Ted:
I am a huge Gleek, and I love all the actors on the show. However, there is a really annoying rumor that Lea Michele and Dianna Agron are a couple. Are they? I don't think so. I understand that people love them, but really, why is it so hard to believe that friends can be superclose?

Dear Quinnchel:
Don't fret. The two are not an item...Either thar or they're the best secret keepers in Hollywood. I hear Dianna is one of the few castmembers whom Lea doesn't treat with the diva ‘tude.

Dear Ted:
My puppy Libby isn't from a shelter, but we got her from a neglectful owner. She's dealt with all my squeals during Glee over the yummy Cory Monteith. I'm curious though: There are a lot of young male stars, like Cory, who have a reputation for being good boys. You've hinted at guys like Nick Jonas not being good, just good at hiding their antics. Is Cory like that, or does he really not party?

Dear Like a Virgin:
It's not that Cory doesn't party necessarily—he's just too naive at the moment to really dive into the bad-boy club. For now...We'll see if some of those luscious Glee gals (or guys!) can loosen him up.

Dear Ted:
I heard a rumor that Mark Salling and Naya Rivera from Glee had a nasty breakup and that they won't be filming any more scenes together. Would the show really allow that?

Dear Murphy's Law:
Ha! First of all, the two are just as together as ever (and may I say, quite the fine-looking couple). And second, there's no way in hell that two no-names, essentially, would have any kind of influence on the Ryan Murphy creative powerhouse.

Dear Ted:
I just read a New York Times story, and it looks to me like my favorite R.Pattz is a diva. Is that true? He seems so laid-back all the time, though lately he does look a little tired. I guess if I don't hear back from you, Ella, my No. 1 rescue kitty, and I will figure it's true because I know you don't like to say bad things about our cutie.

Dear Easygoin' Edward:
What's there that's bad to say? As I've said, there's nothing to the rumor that Rob's a diva. The folks who get to work with him and his perfect hair love the guy! Don't listen to whatever Nikki may be trying to stir up.

Dear Ted:
I can understand why Tom Cruise was at the MTV Movie Awards—he has a movie coming out. The Tropic Thunder schtick is a few years old, but at least he had a relevant reason for being there. What's J.Lo's excuse? Does she have a career beyond toting Skeletor around and making appearances anymore? There was one desperate person on that stage that night, and it wasn't Mr. Katie Holmes.

Dear Jenny on the Chopping Block:
Hey, she was in The Back-Up Plan! That was, like, just as popular as Tropic Thunder. Right?

Dear Ted:
Even though he's considerably older than I am, I've always loved Peter Sarsgaard! His marriage to Maggie Gyllenhaal seems pretty genuine. Is it? Please tell me he's as nice and down-to-earth as he seems to be!

Dear Armed Gaard:
Take a deep breath, McC, Peter and Maggie are as real as they come. Besides, it's not like Maggie's exactly fake-trophy-wife material. But they've also got their kink on, too, no worries.

Dear Ted:
You have no idea how excited I was to read an update on Tobey Yum-Yum! I was always a bit weary to pimp my pets out, but I guess I'll just have to give them some extra doggy treats in exchange. My pups, Rex and Oliver, are wondering, were Tobey and Darla Jones working or filming together when they were rocking the trailer, à la he and Me-Me Dallas, or is she someone not work related?

Dear Six Degrees:
In their business, Tobey and Darla (not to mention Me-Me, too) seem to have worked with pretty much everyone—even at this point in their young careers. It would be more of a giveaway to say if someone wasn't in the Biz, pumpkin. Hey to Rex and Ollie!

Dear Ted:
The guessing game about Moisty Mohr seems interesting. Is he Stanley Tucci?

Dear Mohr Guesses:
Nope. Stanley's a handsome-lookin' man. Mohr, on the other hand...Well, he doesn't rev my engine.

Dear Ted:
Am I the only one who thinks Renée Zellweger is looking pretty rough these days and who wonders what Bradley Cooper sees in her?

Dear Southern Zell:
You're definitely not alone there, sweets. She must be great in the sack to have landed a hunk like Bradley. I'll disagree, though—she's not looking rough ‘these days." It's all days, ever since she got her Oscar for Cold Mountain. Why doesn't anybody talk about the Academy-Award curse for looks, too? It's always only about love and career.

Dear Ted:
Are Ryan Phillippe's and Matt Damon's Blind Vices old or new? I love them both and am just curious.

Dear Jaded Jede:
Well, what exactly constitutes "old" to you? Suffice it to say yes, regardless.

Dear Ted:
Do Nevis Divine and Terry Tush-Trade know each other intimately?

Dear Erotic Emphasis:
You know, I can italicize words, too.

Dear Ted:
Cameron Diaz
and Tom Cruise have no chemistry whatsoever! And honestly, I don't picture them getting along very well. Any scoop on their movie Knight and Day?

Dear Diazed and Confused:
I have to say, I'm hearing the two have great chemistry in the film! Maybe hold your judgments until after you see it? I know, I know, I'm a hypocrite.

Dear Ted:
Is Orlando Bloom Nevis Divine?

Dear Bloomin' Pirate:

Dear Ted:
Is Lea Michele's attitude getting any better? I really hope so ‘cause she is so talented. No pets for me, unfortunately, as my mum's allergic.

Dear Poor Petless!
Unfortunately, I'm not hearing any good news on the Random Acts of Lea Michele Kindness front.

Dear Ted:
I just read that the tea Lindsay Lohan swills to "try to keep sober" is being recalled because it has a higher-than-advertised alcohol content. She seems to drink a lot of it. All the so-called sources at Katy Perry's party say they didn't see her drinking at all. Do you think it's possible that the tea set off her SCRAM bracelet? I really, really hope it's something that innocent. I love this girl, and I'm really hoping she cleans herself up. Tell me there's some hope for Linds!

Dear Lohan and Behold:
The only tea leaves I see in the future of La Lohan's career are soaked. With you know what.

Dear Ted:
Any news about Maroon 5's frontman Adam Levine? Love him and I was wondering if he has ever been a Blind Vice or if he is B.V. material?

Dear OMG!
Darling, he is definitely no stranger to the raunchy behavior of a typical B.V. bad boy. But no, he hasn't been anointed into B.V. infamy...not yet.

Dear Ted:
Is Shafterella Shoshstein Kristen Stewart?

Dear Stewstein:
Luckily, no. Kristen's like Dakota Fanning compared to this chick, age-wise.

Dear Ted:
I'm about as obsessed with my once-stray kitty Buttons as Kristen Stewart is with her Max/Jella. Speaking of Kristen, I don't understand why everyone thinks she's a bitch and a diva. She seems like the sweetest girl, unless you get on her bad side. Is her bad reputation just a product of her ever famous bitch face that she gives the paps, or is she really that mean to people?

Dear Undercover Sweetheart:
Hon, Kristen is nothing short of a doll. She has spunk, and that throws some people off, but rest assured, she's just a typical 20-year-old who's got her energetic days, as well as angsty ones, too.

Dear Ted:
I think Sandra Bullock has always been a "deal with the devil" type who doesn't love media attention on her personal life but accepts it without whining because it is an inevitability of the job she chose. She also knows that at this moment in time there is no way to avoid more intense media scrutiny. And I think she is responding with grace, humor, modesty, zaniness in front of the cameras. I think all of that is basically honest. But surely she must be grieving. Didn't she marry for love?

Dear Love & Marriage:
Of course she did (but also for being different, she loved that James wasn't the typical mold), and when the world cried that Jesse wasn't good enough for her, she refused to listen. But that's the great thing about Sandy: She isn't turning it into a pity party. She's just so damn classy like that.

Dear Ted:
You stated that Tom Cruise survived Nicole Kidman. In the past you also stated that Nicole had a lot to deal with with Tom, implying that she was the survivor. So which is it? Who was the worse of the two?

Dear Eyes Really Wide Shut:
In retrospect, the two are both a little bit crackers, so I would opt to say they both did their share of suffering. But back then, Tom was much less crazytown than he is now, so I'd say Nicole.

Dear Ted:
Jennifer Aniston
and Brad Pitt have been divorced for a while, but the media still seems to call Jen a desperate woman. Why is that? She's hot and has had plenty of boyfriends. Is she really what they make her out to be, or are these stories of desperation just rumors?

Dear Desperate Nonhousewife:
They don't call her desperate for the lack of Brad, sugar-pie. It's because she can't keep a boyfriend for longer than a heartbeat. But has anyone ever stopped to think it's not desperation at all—that that's exactly how Jen wants it? Hello?

Want more Team Awful? Follow @theawfultruth @taryder @jtyboone @snarc on Twitter!


Check out our gallery of Blind Vice Superstars!

  • Share
  • Tweet
  • Share