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Cyrus Pantie Virus in the Soup Top 5

It's time again, folks, to bury another dead-and-gone week, but let's not do it without a proper Viking funeral, Soup-style. Join us as we pay tribute to our most moving moments of the last seven days.

Miley Cyrus: The wonderful thing about teen celebs is that we get to take part in the glorious process of their maturation right along with them. And now we know exactly what type of boys the sweet, cherubic pop star is currently "doing." Golly, can a tramp stamp be far away? Oops, we may have spoken too soon.

Keep reading for four fabulous more ...

Ali Fedotowsky: The Bachelorette has been faced with many potentially traumatic situations in her quest for love. Jumping from airplanes, balancing on high wires, enduring nerve-wracking chopper rides. And now she has to listen to Kasey "sing."

Perez Hilton: When the gossip queen published alleged crotch shots of Miley's teenaged lady part, it went viral instantly—and caused a national fury. The View's Sherri Shepherd chimed in not against obnoxious imp Perez, but with some sage words of advice to Miley about keeping her panties on and carrying a twenty-dollar bill. 

Real Housewives of New Jersey: Though they might get a bad rap, there's a damn good reason strippers are strippers. They know what they're doing. As opposed to Real Housewife hanger-on Kim. Thankfully, no poles were harmed in the execution of this erotic travesty.

America's Got Talent: In the realm of The Soup, the man who dances like a hopped-up hillbilly is king. Sadly, that's not the case in the world of AGT. But what do they know?

Follow @thesoup on Twitter.

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Ever feel like you know Joel ... but not really? This should help.

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