Morning Piss: Where Are the Fearless Women?

Joan Rivers’ documentary and Megan Fox’s big mouth just aren’t enough sass

Have you seen the brilliant documentary Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work? It opens with Joan working some sad comedy club, complaining about the club's decrepit state (not to mention her own career) and lamenting a call she had to take from her daughter, Melissa.

Rivers bitches that Missy wanted "approval" for having turned down an offer to pose topless in Playboy for $400,000, and Joan seethed to the audience that what she ought to say to her daughter was, "Why didn't you say yes, show your p---y, too, and ask for $800,000!"

It's cruelly funny, vintage Rivers: Everything you're not supposed to say (especially about one's own family!), but Rivers goes right ahead and says it, because (a) it's funny, and (b), because it's true.

Megan Fox, though perhaps not by the same design, also has a pretty loose pair of lips:

After all, the curvy, newly engaged hon has notoriously shot her mouth off many times before, sometimes to the detriment of her own employment, as her exiting from Transformers 3 was testament. But come on, in the process, Fox called Michael Bay, one of the town's most dubious employers of women, out on the carpet for treating her badly and in a demeaning way, so she felt.

Was it smart to speak up? Probably not. Was it fearless and strong? Oh, yeah.

There are others: Kathy Griffin holds little back in her comedy. Kristen Stewart is showing an amazing amount of chutzpah in her young career. Anna Paquin has a supersensible sound bite. But for the most part, Hollywood women largely play the game, just as they're told.

Rivers first put herself on the map for discussing what she was told not to include in her act: abortion. And because she then got old and chose to have plastic surgery, she was dismissed—even though buttloads of women in this town have themselves been doctored just the same. They just don't talk about it.

Griffin took herself from the D-list to the A-list, simply for having the cojones to say that's the list she was on at the time. Stewart doesn't play her personal life to the media, like her zillions of counterparts. Paquin has already said she's "done" with the media because they have unreasonably—and unfairly—scrutinized her. And besides, Anna's just perfect.

Seems so few others are these days. Guy's too, mind you, but that's a bitch for another time.