Now that Lost is over and American Idol is done—what do I obsess about next? I just love your obsession lists.
—Myra, Florida via the Answer B!tch inbox
I made the mistake of flashing this question past my thousands of b!tchlettes, who responded immediately with Eclipse, coming out June 30, and the penultimate Harry Potter flick, which bows in November. One reader is also excited about "the latest from Dan Brown," which, apparently, hasn't been written yet, but, I'm sure, will have lots of codes and ancient pyramid-shaped gadgets.
But if you're looking for something a bit more future-forward, I have your hot list right here:
1. Beloved TV characters running amok.
True Blood, Mad Men—take your pick. According to our own E! team, True Blood is promising to be, among other fun things, the nakedest season of the vampire show ever. What does that mean? Naked vampires, fools!
On Mad Men, meanwhile, Betty Draper has run off with that politician clown and thinks she's getting married. Maybe she is, or not. Either way, good times for the rest of us. True Blood starts its third season later this month. Mad Men returns in July.
2. Hot pants! Puffy pants! Crazy pants!
Fashionwise, I hear pants are going crazy this summer. They're either harem pants—a trend that has billowed around in the periphery for a while but has yet to fully reach its stride in the U.S. The other hot pants to expect this summer? Well, hot pants. As in, shorty short shorts. See above comment about good times for all.
3. Sinkholes.
Sudden holes puncturing the Earth! They're small! They're big! Where! Will! They! Strike! Next!
4. Love Ranch.
Well, for one, the movie stars Helen Mirren, Gina Gershon and Joe Pesci which is kind of cool. It's also got a bordello in it, which always equals some degree of fun. But you know what's really really cool? The release date: June 30. I'll let you figure that out.
5. Demonic possession party!
That's right, minions from hell! They're the new vampires, the blood-sucking cool kids of 2010. We're talking Paranormal Activity 2, The Last Exorcism, and a remake of Night of the Demons, three devil-flavored films coming this year.
6. M.I.A.'s new album.
My readers are superexcited about forthcoming tracks from Robyn and Kylie Minogue—with reason—but MIA's latest offering is bound to bring even more fun. Even if the music is no good, we can have plenty of fun delving into her pseudo-activist-girl-by-way-of-Brentwood routine until she Tweets our phone number and writes a mean song about us.
7. Fallout: New Vegas.
OK, confession. The third installment of this traditionally second-person RPG video game scared the living bejeezus out of me. I like my zombies tiny and shambling, not leaping out at me from the dank of an abandoned railway tunnel that may also have vampires in it. And call me a wimp, but I will never, ever set foot in that Dunwich Building again. Still, am I sort of excited to let loose with the minigun in the heart of what was once Las Vegas through this highly anticipated expansion pack, coming this fall? Yes.
8. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.
Everything about this movie will be awesome, and not just because it has Michael Cera and Anna Kendrick in it, and not just because it's based on a magnificent bunch of graphic novels, and not just because the lead guy has to beat up a whole bunch of evil boyfriends in a series of increasingly over-the-top fights. It's because I say it will be righteous, that's why.
So what else from The Future are you all about?
Commence the obsessing.