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    Bitch-Back! Is Kristen Treating Rob Right?

    Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson Nate Jones, Sam Sharma, PacificCoastNews.com; PacificCoastNews.com

    Dear Ted:
    I saw Kristen Stewart, Rob Pattinson and Taylor L. on an after-Oprah interview while still in Chicago. Kristen repeatedly rolls her eyes in contempt while Rob stumbles (adorably) over his answers to dumb questions. She makes fun of him, "what?" at one point! He clearly worships her every inch, and when he's gone and she's 40 without kids and wrinkled, she's going to know he was the one. I too was once a lovely woman, now I'm a 40-year-old mom. And guess what? I kept my hottie and kids with him, best thing she'll never do.
    —Erin

    Dear 40-Year-Old Virgin:
    Whoa, Erin, think K.Stew is just joking around with her dude—that's the way those two are, never take themselves too seriously. Plus, I'm sure—when the time comes, tho, as no one is engaged now!—Kristen will have no trouble nabbing a partner more than happy to settle down with her. Think it'll be Rob? No old maid here.

    Dear Ted:
    Since the last episode of Lost airs this Sunday—I'm very sad—I was wondering if you could please, pretty please with a cherry on top, tell me if anything scandalous went down on that set? Any hookups? I feel like something was bound to happen with a cast that big.
    —AM

    Dear Found:
    Can't say there's too much scandal behind the scenes on this megahit. Any dirty laundry or on-set hookups in the cast went public pretty quick: DUIs, Evangeline and Dominc, etc. While the show may have tons of secrets, the cast ain't the same. It's not Grey's Anatomy, after all.

    Dear Ted:
    My guess for Strawberry Snort'em: Kirsten Dunst.
    —Caroline

    Dear Picking Berries:
    Good guess, C, but think more relevant. K.Dunst hasn't worked in…I can't even think of the last time I saw her in a movie. Can you?

    Dear Ted:
    Now that we all know that Austin Nichols has a Blind Vice (and you said it's very juicy), I was wondering if Sophia Bush knows anything about it? And if she doesn't know then I feel bad for her 'cause she needs a real man, the girl is beautiful.
    —Mike

    Dear in the Know:
    Sophia is definitely aware of Austin's Vices. There's really no hiding this one—and she's cool with it too, which makes her perfect for him (at least for now).

    Dear Ted:
    Is Moisty Mohr George Lopez? Recent news saying he has been unfaithful to his wife.
    —JRB

    Dear Secret Skankin':
    Nice try, but no. Hell, I'd even say George Lopez was better looking than Moisty.

    Dear Ted:
    So Alexander Skarsgård is a Blind Vice, but what about his costars? Sam Trammell, Anna Paquin, Stephen Moyer, Ryan Kwanten, etc. They are hardly written about, is that something they prefer, or do they have really bad PR? Alex seems to be the only one riding the gossip train, is there something going on?
    —D

    Dear Bloody Blinds:
    A.Skars is the only Vicey star on True Blood for now. Anna revealed her "big secret" and the rest of the cast is pretty tame—or at least, I don't think they're wild enough to be given a B.V. You may think differently.

    Dear Ted:
    Have you seen the new pictures of Rob as Jacob on the set of Water for Elephants? What do you think of his new look?
    —Muse

    Dear Why Bother Asking:
    Of course, dreamy per usual.

    Dear Ted:
    The Travoltas announced their pregnancy over the weekend, and you have not said one word about it. I've been stalking the A.T. website to read your two cents about it. Please share your thoughts!
    —Lizee

    Dear Stork Watch:
    Very happy for them both. They've had plenty of crap in their lives lately, and I'm happy something brighter's on the horizon for them, especially since John loves kids.

    Dear Ted:
    "Danneel Harris and new hubby, Supernatural hunk, Jensen Ackles..." Ted, are you kidding me? Suddenly, you need clarity on Jensen's credentials and Danneel needs no introduction? What's next? Danneel Harris presents Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth?
    —D

    Dear Title Change:
    Hmmm. A bit long, but we can work on it.

    Dear Ted:
    I wanted to ask you about the best kiss of the MTV Movie Awards. If Robsten wins the award, will we see the kiss or not? Thanks!
    —Marika

    Dear Smooch Patrol:
    And miss a moment to tease the fans? What would Robsten get in that?

    Dear Ted:
    I don't know why you like Miley but I cannot stand her. My question has to do with Liam. He seems like a good guy and down to earth. How is his personality really? Why is he even with Miley? Publicity? Love ya.
    —Sandy

    Dear Dater Hater:
    Liam is a pretty chill dude and—though I'm sure he loves the little boost dating Miles is giving him within H'wood—there's more to their relaysh than PR. Miley can't be tamed, after all, why do you think guys like her?

    Dear Ted:
    Is Nelly Fang Eddie Murphy? He was a vampire in Brooklyn.
    —L

    Dear Jokes On You:
    Interesting guess, but nope—the funnyman isn't our sexy boy-lovin' vamp. Think younger.

    Dear Ted:
    Is Me-Me Dallas Ashley Greene? I know she's been photographed with every available guy since Twilight came out, but I kind of get that open-minded, "swings two ways" vibe from her! I talked it over with my adopted terrier mix and he agrees. Also, thank you for doing what you do to promote animal rights and adoption. Too many bully breeds, like mine, get an unfair bad rep and end up in shelters without loving families!
    —Blonde

    Dear Greener Pastures:
    With all the hormones flying on the Twi set, I wouldn't be surprised if Ash were Me-Me. But she's not. Think slightly more sophisticated, actually. And thanks for keeping the critters in mind, life would suck without them.

    ________

    For more Blind Vice clues dig through the Bitch-Back section.

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