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    Bitch-Back! Jake Gyllenhaal is No Prince

    Jake Gyllenhaal Jon Furniss/WireImage.com

    Dear Ted:
    What's up with Jake Gyllenhaal? I used to really enjoy his interviews, I thought they were funny and genuine, but I'm finding his interviews for Prince of Persia kind of robotic, not to mention reserved despite all the attempts to be funny. I'm also not finding the frat boy humor funny. Making gagging gestures when Jonathan Ross jokes about kissing his male guests while interviewing Adam Lambert? Recoiling when your colleague on The Daily 10 tried to give him a comforting hug during a joking routine that included tissue and fake tears? By the way, the contrast between Jake and Adam on Jonathan Ross was like night and day. Where's that "it" factor, the star quality that Jake used to have gone to?
    Worried Jake Fan

    Dear Great Pretender:
    That's exactly what I've been saying, babe. I thought after Gyllenspoon was no more, the real Jake might stand up, but that so hasn't been happening—for now, at least. Don't know if that's his choice or Disney's, but I'm not buying the über-man that's being shoved down our throats.

    Dear Ted:
    I'm a big Awful Truth fan- it helps me cope between classes—but this is my first time writing in. I totally loved your take on the Newsweek incident. I get that they want to drum up readership by having something scandalous, but seriously? The fact that Jonathan Groff is gay has zero effect on me at all. I love Glee and that guy is talented and hot, being gay doesn't change either opinion I have on him. I have no problem with gay playing straight or vice versa. That's why they're actors. They act. I support your and Kristin Chenoweth's shaming of this homophobic gimmick. On a lighter note, I'm a huge Blind Vice fanatic. In exchange for my rant, do you have any more dirt/hints on Nelly Fang? Anything and everything would be much appreciated. Stay awesome Ted!
    CC

    Dear Preach On:
    Articles like that are exactly why Toothy, Nelly or any of our BV faves don't have a shot at setting precedent and coming out. Not that Nelly really needs to come out. Just needs to fess up that he's a sexual being and swings both ways in his private life. No biggie.

    Dear Ted:
    How come when you showed the pics of the girls of Glee at the end of the Lea Michele article, you didn't add Jane Lynch but 3 pics of the ingrate L.M.? She may not be a "girl" but she is so awesome and deserves more props. Just a thought. Love ya anyway.
    Lilybug

    Dear No Ageism Here:
    Please, Lynch is in a class of her own.

    Dear Ted:
    I am bald from your riddles! Clooney's "complicated" reasons for not marrying! What? Is he Toothy Tile? Robsten taking a break? Nikki Reed's distaste for Robsten? Why? Nelly Fang's from Transylvania? (Ian Somerholder or Skarsgård, but Somerholder's American!) Riddle after riddle, I'm going mad! Millions of unanswered questions, and you've no obligation to ever, ever answer! By the way, I totally believe you on the Oprah/Robsten situation! So, is Oprah gay? P.S. I always rescue wild animals and save them, take them to the vet, etc. I currently have a baby pigeon I feed with bird formula.
    erin

    Dear Sorry, But...:
    You're driving me mad from this question. What is it you want to know babe? I can't even keep up with you. But, kudos on your rescuing, nice job!

    Dear Ted:
    I have noticed that there is this big deal about the Twilight names being at the top of the list for baby names. Now Isabella is new for the girls but Jacob has been the number one baby name for boys for 11 years straight so this is clearly not about Twilight. My question is, is this a promotion for Team Jacob? The real news is the name Edward jumped almost 300 slots this year. Is Summit still trying to promote the Team Jacob thing?
    Give me a break

    Dear What's in a Name:
    Uh, wouldn't put it past 'em. And this is nuthin! Wait for all the Taylor Lautner to come during Eclipse promos. Love it or hate it ya'll? 

    Dear Ted:
    Has Julie Benz ever been a Blind Vice? I just adore her!
    Lulu

    Dear Dark and Dexter:
    Love her too! Which is why it pains me to say...no.

    Dear Ted:
    I was so relieved to know that Pat Poisonpuss wasn't Jane Lynch! I've met her before and she's so sweet and humble but I felt like there were a lot of clues that could make it her. Either way, it's great to know she's kept her head straight.
    M

    Dear Rest Easy:
    Jane is still one of the most down to earth chicks in this biz! Always will be, I dare say.

    Dear Ted:
    Back to the Shafterella Shostein Blind Vice, how would you describe Shafterella's preferences? Gay or Bi? A corollary to this question is when did her ex-husband find about her activities which involved sweaty thighs and short skirts?
    CATS

    Dear Vintage Vice:
    Don't think her ex-hubby minded it all that much. They both tend to go the Bi-Bi-Bi route. Tres chic!

    Dear Ted:
    I don't know if it's just me or does the hype for Eclipse not as crazy as the hype for New Moon was a year ago? I remember being bombarded with New Moon marketing everywhere I went (school, Target, Barnes & Noble, Burger King, etc.) that I wanted to hide in my room and never come out. All that has been put out is two trailers (meh), a mediocre poster (which I haven't even seen on billboards), and pictures. Where are the cheesy Hot Topic shirts, 10 trailers, and the excessive coverage of all things Twilight? Is Summit just waiting until June comes around? That's just around the corner. 
    Dizzy

    Dear Good Questions:
    New Moon had a whole year of hype to build in between the release of that and Twilight. I think Summit is picking up that people are slightly on Twilight paraphernalia overload. Didn't NM friggin' just come out? Plus, hate to say it, but I don't think many people have high expectations for the quality of Eclipse. Don't think that's David Slade's fault, either.

    Dear Ted:
    John Stamos
    was recently blackmailed for some secret...Has he ever been a Blind Vice? Thanks!
    Gwennie from Texas

    Dear Oh, Yeah:
    One of the sexiest ones, too! Love that Johnny.

    Dear Ted:
    Please remember the animals that are suffering in Nashville due to the flooding! Please post on your website! My question is will you report on the Jensen/Danneel wedding?
    Fairy

    Dear SOS:
    I could never forget babe! Prayers go out to humans and their furry friends alike—to find out more info and to donate, please check this out. As for Jense and Danneel, I have a super sinking suspicion this time next week many hearts will be broken.

    Dear Ted:
    Why is Cruella St. Shackles husband still with her? He doesn't seem to be as driven by fame as she is as his fan base doesn't seem to like her that much either? Can't he break away and find happiness keeping his fans and career in tact? After all, it's Cruella's career that hit rock bottom, not his right?
    V

    Dear Right On:
    Don't forget Marky Sweet-Puss's day job has seen better days, too—only to be somewhat reinvigorated by his hook up with Cruella, something Marky has a hard time letting go of. But, don't worry, he will. He's beginning to see what a devil he took on at the altar.

    Dear Ted:
    Greetings from across the pond! We Brits love E! News and yourself, and follow your column religiously. I was just wondering—hypothetically, if I was to have a pretty precise guess who Crotch-Uh-Lastic is—is there any way he is not exclusively gay and, say, bi? Because I've a feeling that he's the kind of person who'd fall for someone based on who they are, rather than what's their gender. Please correct me if I'm wrong. P.S My new, beautiful, rescued kitten says hi, and she's a big Crotch-Uh-Lastic fan, too!
    Miss

    Dear Brians not Beauty:
    Just because Crotch has more going on upstairs than most of Hollywood doesn't mean he's a total brainiac. Sorry babe, but good personality or not C-U-L loves the peen.

    Dear Ted:
    Elizabeth Hasselbeck
    drives me crazy. Please tell me she's been a BV, and please hint which one!
    Ginny

    Dear Bearer of Bad News:
    Sorry to disappoint, but she pretty much does and says whatever she wants in public. Why bother with the veil?

    Follow @theawfultruth on Twitter!

    ________

    Hungry for more BV clues? Dig through  Bitch-Back section

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