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President Obama, Jay Leno Duke It Out Over Dinner

Even President Barack Obama knows it's better to take the stage before Jay Leno.

"I am glad that the only person whose ratings fell more than mine last year is here tonight. Good to see you, Jay," said the president to a roar of laughter. "I'm also glad that I'm speaking first, because we've all seen what happens when someone takes the time slot after Leno's."

Nearly 3,000 journalists, celebrities and political figures attended the annual White House Correspondents' Association Dinner last night, one of the capital's most glamorous events. Where else can celebs like Kim Kardashian, the Jonas Brothers, Alec Baldwin and Justin Bieber rub shoulders with the head of the CIA and half of Congress?

Speaking of the JoBros, President Obama issued a warning to them regarding his two young daughters who are huge fans: Don't even think about it.

"I have two words for you: predator drones. You won't even see them coming," he said.

After taking the mic, The Tonight Show host wasted no time taking digs at the president.

"Some of you in the news have mentioned that the president has been getting a little grey since taking office but he's had his share of stress: tough economy, two wars, healthcare fight, Iran, North Korea, his mother-in-law moving in with him — I think that would break most men," quipped Leno. He also poked fun of Michelle Obama's fight against child obesity (calling it "Leave No Child With a Bigger Behind"), Vice President Joe Biden, Sarah Palin and the Republican Party. 

"Washington is a very scary place between Republicans going to bondage clubs, the SEC looking at porn — I can't wait to get back to Hollywood, someplace wholesome where people have values," he joked.

Hollywood, however, invaded Washington for the black-tie affair, with a slew of celebrities in attendance including Scarlett Johansson, Bradley Cooper, Ryan Seacrest, Glee's Matthew Morrison, Jeremy Renner, Oscar-winning director Kathryn Bigelow, Lost's J.J. Abrams, Jessica Alba, Steven Spielberg, Kate Capshaw, Larry King, Nick Jonas, Kevin Jonas, Joe Jonas, Demi Lovato, Judd Apatow, Betty White, Michelle Pfeiffer, Jimmy Fallon, Jessica Simpson, Gabourey Sidibe, Dennis Quaid, Queen Latifa, Bill Maher, Michael Douglas, Julianna Margulies and Meredith Viera.

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Ain't no party crashers here! Check out which stars showed up to this invite-only event.

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