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    Bitch-Back! Is Skarsworth Official Now?

    Alexander Skarsgard, Kate Bosworth Dome, Jones, PacificCoastNews.com

    Dear Ted:
    Please out Alex Skarsgård and Kate Bosworth's relationship as the fauxmance/showmance it really is. Something about those two is just...off.
    One lil sparkler

    Dear Not Buyin' It:
    Skarsgård isn't Toothy Tile, if that's what you're getting at. Kate Bosworth hasn't worked in, what, years now? So it's not like she has anything to promote except maybe attempting to save her Hollywood reputation. Something may be off, but you're on the wrong track just a tad.

    Dear Ted:
    Here's something I don't understand about the closeted Blind Vices. If the girls are under the impression their relationship is real, wouldn't that technically make these guys bisexual rather than gay, or am I being too pedantic over semantics? In other words, does a beard always know that's what she is?
    leaf

    Dear Perplexed:
    A beard usually knows what she is (or a little about her man's same-sex past), but there are a few situations where the women is, indeed, out of the loop. In that case, she isn't a beard. Just duped like Topher Hairy Tuchus' first wife kinda was.

    Dear Ted:
    Why, why, why with the latest anti-Kristen Stewart rant from Deep Twi? Are you a fair-weather K.Stew lover or what? I'm not saying she can do no wrong, but with all she puts up with from the studio to the fans. I mean, really, she has a lot to appreciate, but it comes with a heavy price. It's not her fault she's smarter than this egotistical studio that thinks it can rule the world! In a world of Lindsays and Mileys, I'll take K.Stew any day. New Moon press tour was one of her best yet, so I don't get it!
    E

    Dear Don't Kill the Messenger:
    Hey, I totally agree with you! But I thought my job was to deliver you the gossip, and that's what's on some people's minds over at the Twilight studio. Maybe something happened after New Moon neither of us knows about? But I wouldn't worry about our girl, she's doing just fine, if you ask us.

    Dear Ted:
    While sitting here pondering Blind Vices, I keep coming back to a question I just cannot figure out. What was the deal with Nicole Kidman and Lenny Kravitz? Yes, yes. I realize that was a long time ago, but it is driving me crazy. What would Lenny want with the likes of a frozen prune? He seems far too...luscious.
    Juliet Blue

    Dear And I Thought I Was Bitchy:
    Who cares what brought them together (cough, publicity and a rebound for Nicole), but I can tell you they hardly had a smooth ending, babe.

    Dear Ted:
    Is Seymour Plow-Me-More Robin Williams?
    Sugarsnap

    Dear Great Guess:
    You're off, darling, but not by too much!

    Dear Ted:
    You are clearly playing Summit's game. Last fall you couldn't stop gushing about Taylor or Jacob. Now you've turned on him. And today saying Kristen has become diva-like? No one in the Industry or her fans will believe that. She's the least diva-like actress out there. Why don't you report on the unreasonable demands Summit makes on her? Or its shoddy treatment of her since the start of the franchise? Or tell us what she did that Summit has decided to trash talk her to the fans. You've lost a lot of your Robsten followers and all of your credibility with them.
    January

    Dear So Wrong:
    I don't play anyone's game. And trust me, I'm probably Summit's No. 1 enemy. And I do like Taylor, just not when he's shoved down my throat every friggin' second. No one is that perfect! As for Kristen, I never said I thought she was a diva. But apparently there's a reason other people do. Chill.

    Dear Ted:
    Have you ever considered writing your memoirs some day? Now that book I would run to buy!
    Anne

    Dear What Should I Call It?
    Who Killed Ted Casablanca? (The choices seem to be plentiful.)

    Dear Ted:
    I'm currently obsessed with the Nelly Fang B.V., so I've been doing some research. Two distinct possibilities are standing out to me. Alex O'Loughlin and Kyle Schmid. Warm, cold, hot?
    D

    Dear Two 4 One:
    Hmmm, let's go with warm. Why the hell not?

    Dear Ted:
    Can you explain why no one can get a video or picture of Robsten kissing or something like it? I must think that the press is really fueling this pair. Come on...give me something juicy. Are they finally going to let free for the Eclipse world press?
    P

    Dear Skeptic:
    Tons of celebs who are hooking up in secret getaways without being caught. It may be shocking, but not everyone is as invasive as the L.A. paps are. Fans are usually just cool. And Rob and Kristen are smart about when and where they are seen.

    Dear Ted:
    Do you read Blind Vice blogs trying to guess your B.V.s? Are they usually right or way off?
    K

    Dear Curious:
    Sometimes and sometimes.

    Dear Ted:
    This is a fan from Hong Kong. I don't have any pets since it's not allowed in my apartment building, but I do hope you would pick my email. Well, I'm not picking on you, but I'm just wondering, have you ever been wrong about your reports or news? I mean, I remember you said Alexander Skarsgård and Kate Bosworth are just friends/friends with benefits, but after the Coachella outing and the poolside cuddling, they seem to be a genuinely loving couple. So sorry, but I think maybe you're wrong about them.
    Mabel

    Dear Foreigner:
    Oh babe, Coachella is a massive paparazzi fest. Skarsworth know they were being watched. They hardly attempted to be secretive about their cuddling while cruising around the desert. Trust, there's no wedding in store for these two.

    Dear Ted:
    So, I love animals, and I am a little disturbed by Kim Kardashian's TwitPic of her holding a black cat by the scruff of its neck. I know she said it was fine—that the vet and owner were there—but still...As an animal lover, what do you think about the whole situation?
    LuvTheAnimals

    Dear I Agree:
    Well, I'm glad she apologized for it, but, it just looked awful and sends absolutely the wrong message.

    Dear Ted:
    I just read in Famous magazine that Rob is emotionally distancing himself from Kristen. Is this true? Does this mean they are heading for possible breakup? Please, please tell me it isn't so.
    J

    Dear Gullible:
    What is Famous magazine, exactly?

    Dear Ted:
    Is Nelly Fang Antonio Banderas?
    Ingrid

    Dear Random:
    Uh, no. Sorry, babe, but fab guess! Think currently far more relevant.

    Dear Ted:
    I don't need to tell you that being gay doesn't exclude one from loving their family, perhaps even their BFF's wife. Please do not consider outing Seymour Plow-Me-More! Let some low-rent pap out him—they already have! If a reputable columnist were to out him, it would be earth-shattering. If Seymour is who I think he is, he has a reputation for good works and cherishes his family. No one in Hollywood cares that he is gay, his wife doesn't care that he is gay, but Middle America sure will! Do you really want to see him embroiled in a Tiger Woods-type scandal? Tiger Woods may have had it coming, but it doesn't sound like Seymour has been as dishonest with the people who love him. If you are going to break the outing taboo, why don't you start with someone young and unattached who has been enough of a scoundrel to keep us from feeling sorry for them.
    Em

    Dear Talkin' the Talk:
    Don't worry, Seymour's secret is still safe with me. But don't count on the fact that everyone close to Mr. More knows the truth. Doubtful the kids do. Definitely agree with you on the Middle America part, though. Isn't that the main reason most of these closeted stars stay hidden?

    _______

    Need more B.V. clues? Dig through our Bitch-Back's for more hints.

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