That's Not Really Jake on GQ—or Is It?

Something about Gyllenhaal's May mag cover is off, don’t ya think?

We haven't been exactly smelling a genuine or critical hit with Jake Gyllenhaal's upcoming silly action job, Prince of Persia. But now even Jake's media is getting kinda fake-looking! Gorgeous G's just-released GQ cover is totally awkward.

Is this some kind of aftereffect from hanging out too much with Ms. Saccharine-Smile, Reese Witherspoon? Probably.

But there are bigger issues going on here:

Like what's next for Jakey's love life. He's most recently been linked to Transformers beauty Isabel Lucas, supposedly sneaking in some smooch time together up in Montreal and even inviting her to lunch with his mom.

But here's what Gyllenhaal tells the mag about being single:

"It's...it's OK....It goes in either direction. I think it's important for every man to find the right woman and every woman to find the right man....Who am I to say what the most important thing in life is? The best answer I could give to any of those things is that I really don't know. Particularly right now in my life."

See, this is the kinda Jake we can get on board with.

Who isn't indecisive about love at his age and in his biz? We're holding our breath he won't be parading Ms. Lucas around on, say, the Prince of Persia carpet just to try and prove he's content in his love life. We'll believe it more if he takes some time for himself.

Howevs, one thing more troublesome than who Jake may or may not be dating is how the hell are we going to save his damn career, 'cause we all love him so much?

It's been stale ever since the inception of Gyllenspoon, when they made Rendition, which really tested us major Gyllenhaal fans. (Heck, Meryl Streep and Sandra Bullock have more heat when they kiss than those two.)

Gyllenhaal's at this best with brooding, a bit tortured, edgy/funny. Anybody see Jarhead? Jake's wicked good when he's got a little dark twist to work with. I'm sorry, kiddie action hero for Disney? Am I the only one here who doesn't see this?

Of course, yes, yes, if I'm wrong about Persia, I will be the first to admit it, promise.

I'll tell ya what (onscreen, at least) shows a lot more promise is the movie J.G. filmed last fall, Love and Other Drugs. Based on the novel, Hard Sell: The Evolution of a Viagra Salesman, it's got Jakey surviving the killer (really) world of pharmaceuticals with a little Anne Hathaway messiness to help keep things interesting.

That's a movie I want to see a Jake action figure from. And a killer photo session with a feature in Interview, concurrently; forget this khaki-jacket magazine nonsense.

This mainstream cover boy look is just not the real Jake.