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    Porn Star Joslyn James Puts Out Alleged Tiger Texts

    Tiger Woods REUTERS/Joe Skipper

    If there's one thing an ex-porn star and self-proclaimed mistress can always be counted on to do, it's protect her dignity and maintain the utmost discretion at all times.

    Hang on—did we say always? We meant never.

    Which explains why the most  media-savvy publicity-hungry member of Tiger Woods' alleged harem picked today to launch Sexting Joslyn James—a website that, as the name implies, gives a rundown of every alleged sext James claims the golfer sent her throughout their "relationship."

    Let's just say, if James is to be believed, Tiger's experience with playing in the rough hasn't been limited to the golf course.

    She posted more than 100 of the supposed sexts this morning, conveniently omitting whatever she sent Woods.

    While some of the texts are too graphic even for us, the often X-rated messages—which have yet to certified official by Team Tiger or forensic analysis—range in topic from sex games (specifically, choking, threesomes, spanking and, uh, golden showers), to problems in Woods' home life and his paranoia about being caught.

    Here's a sampling of Woods' alleged texts as posted on the 32-year-old's site (which, incidentally, has been rendered unloadable for most of the morning due to what we can only suspect have been crazy high levels of perving traffic):

    • "OK, I would like to have a threesome with you and another girl you trust."

    • "I want to treat you rough, throw you around, spank and slap you."

    • "Whatever I want. You are mine."

    • "I would love to have the ability to make you sore."

    • "Have you ever had a golden shower done to you? …just morbid curiosity."

    • "You are my f--king whore. Hold you down while I choke you."

    • "Next time I see you, you better beg and if you don't do it right I will slap, spank bite and f--k you til mercy."

    • "Having a few issues at home. Might be a little later before I see you tonight."

    •"parent hood melt down :)"

    • "Baby I'm not going anywhere or doing anything. You please me like no other has or ever will. I am not losing that…"

    • "Don't f--king talk to me. You almost just ruined my whole life. If my agent and these guys would have seen you there, F--k."

    And those are just the ones that passed through our own admittedly lax standards. The more graphic of the texts James allegedly received can be viewed in full on her website.

    ________

    Heard enough about Tiger's indiscretions? Our Elin Nordegren: Life After Scandal gallery is a nice pop culture palate cleanser.

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