The thing John Mayer didn't realize about napalm, sexual or otherwise, is that it can explode at the least opportune time. Like in the middle of an interview with Oprah Winfrey, which is about the most inopportune moment you can get.
And that's exactly what appears to be in the works when the eminently snortable Jessica Simpson appears on the daytime doyenne's couch tomorrow under the auspices of talking about her new The Price of Beauty documentary.
But we know better. And so does Oprah, who didn't miss the chance to further grill Jessica on the World's Most Indiscreet Ex.
"So, disappointment, there's nothing worse than being disappointed in somebody," Oprah prods in preview clips made available today. "So you're not angry. Or are you angry?"
"I'm not angry, I'm not angry," Simpson replies, before losing the polite schtick. "I'm…well, I'm a little bit angry. I'm a little bit angry.
"I don't want people to know what I'm like in bed."
Even if his choice of descriptors, as she says, "could have been worse."
As could her reaction. Still, snort that, John!
But the interview wasn't all about Mayer (much to our chagrin).
It wouldn't be an Oprah episode unless some of the chat turned to weight, with Winfrey kicking off the topic by asking if the mom-jean-loving tabloid target was now "comfortable" with her physique.
"Absolutely," says Simpson. "I love my curves. Like, I'm not gonna ever be a size 0 and I don't want to weigh 90 pounds."
When avowed BMI expert Oprah interjects that she used to back in her Dukes of Hazzard days, Simpson quickly set the record straight.
"I didn't weigh 90 pounds, but I was definitely smaller. But that was Daisy Duke. That's a role, I was playing a role. I don't want to look like Daisy Duke every day; I don't wanna wear a bathing suit every day."
When you're sexual napalm, you don't have to. The interview will air in its entirety on tomorrow's Oprah Winfrey Show.
Jessica Simpson wasn't the only ex John Mayer blabbed about. Did you hear what he said about Jennifer Aniston?!