Bitch-Back! Why So Shady, Brit?

Readers wonder what’s up with Britney Spears, not to mention the somewhat cozy again Robsten

Dear Ted:
Just wondering, what's the word on Britney Spears? You've been awfully quiet about her lately. She's one that I think a lot of people would like to see content, successful and happy. How's she really doing?
—Chrys 

Dear Gimme More:
Aside from buzz about her new album (rumored to release in June) and the reveal of her new Candies ad campaign, Brit-Brit's been doing what she does best: driving around L.A., going on shopping sprees or stopping at Starbucks with boyfriend Jason Trawick. Team Spears wants to keep B tabloid friendly with an oh-so-ordinary appearance while they work out some of her more, how shall we say, complex issues behind the scenes. But I can guarantee that Brit is definitely continuing to make positive improvements in her life.

Dear Ted:
Let's talk Robsten. I think in the short term the constant are they/aren't they speculation is PR gold, and I can see why they and their management are happy to keep the cool couple's status mysterious. But in the long run, do you think the media circus will be damaging to their careers? I love them both, especially together, but I think they're playing right into the media's hands by not clearing the air at all, and it kind of cheapens their image. I'm not saying they need a five-page spread in People, maybe just a simple yes or no from a publicist?
—J

Dear Hold Your Horses:
How is keeping their private lives private going to cheapen either K.Stew or R.Pattz's images? It does exactly the opposite. While other young H'wood stars are parading their blink-and-you-miss-it relayshes across the cover of every weekly, Robsten have handled the situation with class. Now that's a C-word I would use to describe the couple.

Dear Ted:
I have a giant girl crush on none other than Ms. Nikki Reed. My 'dar totally goes off like crazy for her, but it's hard to tell with celebrities. You know as well as I do that they only usually present what they want you to see. Throw me a bone here: Does Nikki "swing" my way? Even half way? Or is my usually spot-on 'dar getting rusty?
—Megan

Dear Batting Practice:
Your 'dar is getting some mixed signals, but we don't think Nikki's upset over having your female adoration. Plus, she just oozes sex appeal, so I can't blame you for being turned on by the Twilight star. She does the Megan Fox thang rather well, doesn't she?

Dear Ted:
Don't you think it's funny that longtime friends and One Tree Hill costars Austin Nichols and Sophia Bush are upping their showmance and staging photo ops with PDAs right as the show is in decline and at risk of being cancelled? I thought Austin would have learned from his good friend Jake Gyllenhaal that being part of a fauxmance doesn't exactly translate into career opportunities. They should focus on the quality of work and not being a joke in sugary photo ops. Are the CW and the producers of the show pushing them to do these tacky publicity tricks, or is it their own initiative for personal promo reasons?
—Natalie

Dear Too Sweet:
Whether Austin and Sophia's people urged them to up their exposure or not, the duo knows a little PDA can go a long way. Especially with the show on the chopping board; A.N. and S.B. need to stay in the limelight for post-Tree acting opportunities.

Dear Ted:
I don't know what Jared Padalecki has done to you or what you have against him. He keeps a low profile, doesn't seem like a major party animal and goes home to his two rescue dogs; plus, actors on Supernatural always have lovely things to say about him. Yes, he probably has secrets. But if being JJO is not his secret, could you stop dragging him through the coals? Or do you get some sort of pleasure when people start hating on a guy based on blind speculation, especially if it came from you?
—Alena

Dear Whoa, Baby:
Last I checked, you readers were the ones making the B.V. guesses.

Dear Ted:
A little while ago you told some of things that Toothy Tile and Judas have in common. So how about some of the things Dashed and Grey Goose have in common?
—Chaz

Dear Closeted Connection:
They're both pseudo-normal dudes who have to put up with crazy closet case stars who have a greater amount of H'wood clout. Sounds like DDD and Mr. Goose could be good friends—they definitely have a lot in common.

Dear Ted:
Do you think Holly Madison is secretly pissed that Crystal Harris is the "last girlfriend standing," so to speak, at the Playboy Mansion? I know Holly is living in Vegas performing in Peepshow and has her own reality-TV show, so presumably she has moved on. But she made it obvious on The Girls Next Door that she wanted to be the only girl there. It must be a kick in the butt to have some chick who's only been there a year or so (at least publicly) now be the "only girlfriend." I know I would be annoyed. The Girls Next Door was better with Holly, Bridget and Kendra anyway. At least she has that.
—Courtney

Dear Playboy Problems:
As much as they may appear to get along in front of the cameras, Holly and Crystal are anything but BFF behind the scenes.

Dear Ted:
Have you forgotten about all your old fans who love to hear good ol' salacious gossip? We were right there with you in the beginning of the Twilight craze. We loved hearing about their antics in the B.V.s you gave us. Now you would have us believe these kids are romantic, star-crossed lovers. Blah! Come back, Ted. Update us on Nevis D., Jackie B., Twyla B., etc. We miss them. Many fans are jumping ship. I'm still here waiting for you to give us something stunning!
—L

Dear Blind Update:
Star-crossed lovers with lotsa secrets, mind you. Don't think I've ever let up on that Blind Vice innuendo. Nor will it stop. Can I help it if everybody's friggin' in love right now? Wait until the next part babe; it'll get juicier then, promise.

Dear Ted:
It kills me how snarky people get about your Twilight reports. It only takes a little common sense to look at the comments and see which celebs have people reading and which one's put them to sleep. I say: the more Robsten news, the better.
—Sally

Dear Sally-Face:
More Robsten news? Your wish is my command. And thanks, sugar!

Dear Ted:
Is Henrietta Hard-Ball Hillary Clinton, or does Mrs. Hard-Ball's power pale in comparison?
—Bell

Dear Close but Not Enough:
It's actually more impressive. Henrietta could learn from Hillary's cojones-handling ways, I assure you.

Dear Ted:
Over the past few years, some very famous gossip bloggers (not naming names) have made a living outing certain celebrities or suggesting certain Hollywood stars were living in the closet. Recently however, I've noticed that in the case of certain Hollywood actors, these famous bloggers have suddenly changed their tune and are now some of the biggest cheerleaders. Is it possible these famous gossip bloggers are now on the payroll of these closeted stars and their publicists? If that's the case, how are we supposed to know which celebrity bloggers and gossip columnists are really giving us the inside scoop and which ones are simply selling us what Hollywood publicists want us to believe? Promise us you'll never cross over to the dark side!
—Julian

Dear Trust Issues:
You think I could be paid off? Please, there ain't enough money in H'wood to get me to say something nice about Ke$ha. But yes, many people in my business make deals. I do not.

Dear Ted:
Lately Kristen Stewart has been making her rounds with the fashion circuit. She received Elle's Woman of the Year, and now she's an attendee at London Fashion Week. Do we see a change in Kristen? Hopefully it's just her style and not her personality. She's different from Hollywood, and it would be a shame to see her get sucked in and made into a cookie-cutter actress. Her shyness and awkwardness is what makes her her.
—Faye

Dear Stylin' Stewart:
Don't fret, honey, Kristen may have been looking fab on the red carpet lately, but her wardrobe is the only thing getting a complete overhaul. And be assured, we've met her on the red carpet a few times lately, and she's the same K.Stew we all know and love.

Dear Ted:
Robert Downey Jr. seems like he finally has his act together. Are looks deceiving? Hoping things are as they seem.
—G

Dear Doubting Downey:
Aren't looks always deceiving? That doesn't mean he hasn't cleaned up his act, but let's not jump the gun and assume he's perfect.

Dear Ted:
Are there any incestuous feelings among the Jonas Brothers? Particularly Joe for Nick? I can't help but sense something creepy there. Cut to the chase.
—Sandra

Dear Brotherly Love:
While the Jo Bros may have some dirt to hide in their love life, it's nothing illegal. Like that's a surprise.