Fox may want to invest in a quick-triggered bleep button.
"There's not a better job on the planet than judging that f--king karaoke contest," he said. "It might be possible, we'll see. They'd have to pay me a ton of dough because I already make a ton of dough."
Given that Stern's $500 million contract with Sirius is up at the end of the year, the reality show really would have to come up with a ton of dough. Some reports even speculated that Stern was being offered a number that matched his radio gig.
"By the way, they had it all wrong," he said. "I never said I got made an offer. I said I was in discussions to take over a show on a network.
"They got me up to $100 million a year," he went on, referring to the various reports of his would-be salary. "I'll do that. I like that. You know what? OK. $100 million to judge a karaoke contest? OK. Why not? Oprah takes every offer on the table, why shouldn't I?
"Yeah, I would do that show for $100 million. It would be the best thing that happened to me. What a cush job—$100 million for four months! Who wouldn't take that?"
Not only is the King of All Media confident about his chances at cashing in big-time, but he's not too worried about filling Cowell's big, albeit cranky, shoes.
"If I do say so myself, I can't imagine anyone else but me replacing him," Stern said. "I mean, I don't know. How else are they going to make that show work? Who knows how to broadcast and who knows how to be interesting? And who's not afraid to speak their mind?
"By the way, if I was the judge on American Idol, looks would play into the judging, too," he added, saying that his tenure would be "like The Biggest Loser and American Idol combined. I'm gonna be frank with these people."
Of course, he would have some costars to contend with. Let's not forget who's making her series debut tonight.
Stern said he'd have no problem sitting next to newbie Ellen DeGeneres, but doubts she'd stick around long after he started. Still, he thinks Ryan Seacrest would be the first to depart should his hiring come to fruition.
"Oh, he's leaving. He's gonna quit...If I come in there, it's gonna be like Exodus...They're gonna look like Jews running out of Egypt," Stern said. "He'll probably go over with Simon to that other show. F--- it, let's just get a hot chick in there. I have better chemistry with hot chicks."
Then again, all this Idol chatter may just be idle chatter, with Stern posturing for his next round of contract negotiations with Sirius.
We're not saying anything about Howard, but the guest judges on the show earlier this season sure were pretty!