Channing Tatum, Amanda Seyfried, Dear John

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Dear Ted:
I know that Channing Tatum is married and Amanda Seyfried has a boyfriend, but I can't help but wonder if there's anything at all going on (or went on) between these two. They're always complimenting each other, flirting and touching each other in interviews. Can you give me some scoop please?

Dear Chemistry Cop:
Let's think of it like reverse hookup psychology: When you aren't doing it behind the scenes, it's superfun to innocently flirt around. When you are up to something naughty, you're totally awkward about it in front of the press. Like when Brad and Angie would purposely stand 10 feet away from each other during certain Mr. & Mrs. Smith promos.

Dear Ted:
Would you please explain something to me? How does Mel Gibson still have a career? How is it still possible there are still people who are willing to work with this homophobic, anti-Semitic, misogynistic, humorless ass? For the life of me, I can't figure it out.

Dear Confused:
Good question—but Mel's new movie looks so bad that hopefully it pretty much does the job itself, and that would be cementing himself as a failing actor. Remember tho, this bad boy has enough cash to keep doing his thing even if no one wants to see him do it.

Dear Ted:
Your story on Tony Romo has holes. Big ones. Romo is over Jess...shock! He's been out still playing and you will see more of that now that the season has ended. Back to the same games and I'm sure your source will not admit that, either. I will be the first to apologize if I'm wrong, believe me, but I know I'm not wrong. Carrie called him out for doing her wrong and I'm really waiting to see if Jess says anything on Oprah on Feb. 24. Poor Candice or any college girl that gets sucked in, 'cause that's who he is back to hitting on! What would you say if I contradict and tell you Tony tried to get back with Jess? Your source would deny of course.

Dear Camp Simpson:
Don't get us wrong, as we said, we're not holding our breath for Tony to march down any aisle anytime soon. But we do have a few sources on Jessica, as well, and we feel perfectly fine in saying neither Jess nor Tony are crying themselves to sleep at night pining over the good-old days. It's like J.Simps is the new Jennifer Aniston—the media's pity thing. But I don't think she's anymore upset over the split (now) than he was.

Dear Ted:
were making out at the Super Bowl, are suing the News of the World and are basically executing an all-out assault on anyone who even thinks they are over. Uh, why from subtle denials (public and not so public) to this? Oh and what's next in the war strategy?

Dear PR:
After so many years of false tabloid headlines, it is interesting that Brangelina chose now to fight back. Perhaps that ending's sooner than we thought.

Dear Ted:
Please reassure me that Chester Shorts-Off and Secretia Ohio are not Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen! I have been a Gisele fan since she hit the modeling scene in the late '90s, and I can't bear the thought of her being in a sham marriage.

Dear Questions:
Definitely not. Think not quite as beautiful but warm in certain arenas, to be sure.

Dear Ted:
I heard from a friend who works at the Sundance Institute that the reason for the lack of info about Kristen Stewart's next movie was because she had tested for the role of Suzanne in Bel Ami while in the U.K. but had not been successful. Holly Grainger, who was in Bad Mother's Handbook with Rob, got the role. It would have guaranteed her being around Rob, but it didn't work out, and it would have been embarrassing for her if it were known. Is there any truth in this? Coming on top of being nominated as worst screen couple, it would have been a little embarrassing. Is this just a story, or is there any truth in it?

Dear Hearsay:
Well, aren't you the little gossip columnist in training? Kristen is doing just fine. Better than her BF, professionally speaking (range-wise), if you ask me.

Dear Ted:
Was the last B.V. Carrie Bradshaw and Ferris Bueller? Will you write back only if I guessed wrong? And is Scott Disick on the Kardashians that bad, or is it just for the show? Please answer me! I just became unemployed and it would make my day!
—Dying to know

Dear Guesser:
Scott is a total tool, but yes, as in all reality TV, they def stage those "plot lines."

Dear Ted:
Are Secretia Ohio and Chester Shorts-Off Diane Lane and Josh Brolin? I haven't heard much about them lately, but I know they've had their problems in the past. If it's not them, am I close?

Dear Answers:
No, Diane and Josh have their issues, for sure, but Secretia and Chester they are not. Think younger, perkier—more kinda B-list beautiful.

Dear Ted:
More people than Anne thought that piece of Gaga gossip was ludicrous and obviously mean-spirited. Gaga's weight since the video has not changed dramatically, which makes the argument about her supposed feelings on the shoot fall apart. She's in better shape from touring. And her perspective on the video filming is that she loves Swedish men and Alexander Skarsgård is a great kisser. He was on the set one day. This gossip was as insulting to Gaga as to A.S., suggesting she was so insecure from this one day meeting, 10 months later she's still starving herself. Rubbish. And given that Taryn knows from personal experience A.S. is in general a nice guy, including to those folks he doesn't have to be nice to (gossip columnists, say), this was a cheap shot for hits. You should be ashamed.
—Gaga for Gaga

Dear Po Po:
Whoa, doll, no one loves Lady Gaga and A.S. more than I, trust. But this is a gossip column, as you said. If you only heard which people were talking 'bout this gross piece of info (as we stated) you'd be utterly shocked. They know of what they leaked.

Dear Ted:
I think you know the answer to fixing your site as far as the comments are concerned and your people can do it! Make people register and that would include a moniker that would be unique to their email or registered name that cannot be used by anyone else. Please, please! We are all for free speech but the A.T. is not a place that is fun to be on anymore. Yes, some of us faithful do come back, but it is for a different reason than we once came on for. Mainly, we come back to fight the hate and evilness that the crazies are saying about our fave couple and to try and get people to stop using our monikers. Do you really understand how awful the Awful Truth has become! It is worse than awful! We will light your site up like a Christmas Tree if you fix this! I promise we will come back in full force!

Dear Regulators:
I pinky swear our techies are so on it.

Dear Ted:
I'm happy Rob and Kristen are doing their own things. Love isn't love without breathing room and personal growth. How much do you think the Twi stuff affects each of them, and has it been mostly negative or positive?

Dear Repercussions:
At the end of the day, R.Pattz and K.Stew love what they do, which makes fame (and all the crap that goes with it) worth it to them. That's also why they know when it's time to be career-focused and not solely focused on each other. It's smart. They're smart! This is totally why they have their cool relationship down pat.


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