So many performances, so many speeches, so much screen time! And that's just Taylor Swift !
Find out what were the hottest, worstest and most memorable moments of the night:
Worst Edit: The producers cut off the winners during the first speech of the night. How do they expect to fill a three-and-a-half-hour show?
Least Effective Coup Attempt: Beyoncé took over the auditorium with the help of an army of jackbooted security. That's one way to hold an audience hostage.
It's Funky and Low in Calories: Pink's dramatic, high-flying trapeze act left a spray of singer-flavored liquid spraying over Staples Center. Pink Bull, anyone?
Worst Use of Natural Resources: Show producers paired superhot Justin Bieber and Ke$ha together—which was brilliant—but then gave them nothing to do but pimp that lame Bon Jovi pick-a-song contest. Next time, how about having J.Bieb and the "TiK ToK" woman do a Bon Jovi song? We'd vote for that.
Biggest Fake Conspiracy: Is country guy Zac Brown really Jack Black in disguise?
Most Literal Staging: Lady Antebellum brought the house down, but unfortunately it was when their dwelling-shaped curtain fell on the head of singer Hillary Scott.
Biggest Surprise: After repeated urgings to vote on which song they'd like to see Bon Jovi perform, fans chose "Livin' on a Prayer."
Second Biggest Surprise: After doing their song with Sugarland's Jennifer Nettles, Bon Jovi actually only played part of the song, which made it all worth it. (Seriously, this is not the best use of new media, Grammy people.)
Worst Seat in the House: Whoever had to sit behind Lady Gaga's giant hat.
Brightest New Star: That little kid who was with Jay-Z and Rihanna? Beyoncé's nephew Juelz Knowles.
Best Performance: Was it the Green Day musical or Dave Matthews Band or somebody else? Tell it in the comments!
Don't Duet! Of all the night's odd pairings—Katy Perry and Alice Cooper, included—Taylor Swift and Stevie Nicks was the least successful. But we bet winning Album of the Year might take the sting out it.
Happy Just to Be: Dave Matthews didn't win Album of the Year but appeared overjoyed just to hear his album's title Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King pronounced correctly. Way to keep it all in perspective, Dave.
Biggest Questions: Did you watch the whole thing? Why were there such huge gaps between awards? Why was Quentin Tarantino shouting?
Missed it? Wanna relive it? Get our 2010 Grammys: Big Moments From the Show gallery.