Bitch-Back! Did Jen Hit or Miss?

Serious debate is raging over how Jennifer Aniston fared at the globes

Dear Ted:
What did you think of Jennifer Aniston's outfit at the Globes? I was not pleased (as if she cares). It was the same old thing. Even with the slit up to her cha-cha. And the hair...not good my friend, not good.
—Curious

Dear Half and Half:
From the waist down I loved Jen's look. Thought the slit was brilliant, and you can never go wrong with black. But it would have been so much sexier with a different, less skanky-awkward neckline, maybe something higher and classier (since her crotch was already practically showing down beneath)? And Jen's hair looked like it always does. It's the Globes, honey! Why not wear it back for a change?

Dear Ted:
What, no comments on Jennifer Anniston getting her sexy back at the Golden Globes? You have to admit she looked stunning. That is, unless you are a Brangielunatic and we all know Brangielunatics hate the good girl.
—WhatsNew

Dear See Above:
Sure, she got her sexy back. But since she borrowed it from Angelina, does she have to return it now?

Dear Ted:
I need some reassurance: Is Lindsay Lohan OK? She seems to be doing well with the clothing line (almost) but she looks a bit...drained. I'm concerned about her welfare; what are your thoughts?
—Gabriella

Dear Dumb One:
Reassurance? Honey, Lohan is hardly OK! Let's just say she was partying with her mom, Dina Lohan, and little sis, Ali Lohan, at Chateau Marmont on Friday night. Now does that seem recovery-road functional to you?

Dear Ted:
Just wanna say, totally addicted to your blolumn! You're my guilty pleasure every day. Can you please tell me if John Travolta has ever been a Blind Vice? Muchos love and hugs to Margo and Charlie!
—Lil

Dear Easy:
Uh, yes. More than once. Woof-woof right back!

Dear Ted:
Just managed to give in my Italian politics paper; I need some gossip. How do you think Jennifer Aniston coped at Golden Globes? What was her preparty poison?
—muddlingthroughx

Dear Concerned:
Different poison than Angelina, that's for sure.

Dear Ted:
Beautiful boy! What's with Reese and the black attire recently? How do you think she's coping with the breakup?
—Lora Jeene

Dear Over It:
I think Reese is just dressing for winter. I have a feeling she'll be moving on. In fact, she already did, some time ago.

Dear Ted:
What did you think of the Golden Globes? I was struck by how Julia Roberts seemed to think the show was all about her and her kids. Did you notice how she had to make sure everyone knew that she turned down The Blind Side (in the preshow interviews)? Could it be that she is just a wee bit jealous of Sandy Bullock?
—Amy from Chicago

Dear Funny You Mention:
I did notice that. As fab as I think Julia is, I don't think Blind Side would have been the same if she starred in it. Sandra's a great actress, but I think many were surprised she could pull off a serious role, not just a romantic comedy. That's why a lot of the buzz has been about her.

Dear Ted:
Your buddy Marc Malkin indicates Rob will be presenting from London for Haiti on the 22nd. If this is the case, it appears he will not be visiting Kristen at Sundance. Can you comment on that? Thanks bud!
—OJ

Dear True:
Le sigh, you very well may be correct. Haiti changed everything, not that we can bitch about that. We're glad R.Pattz is attaching his sexy mug to a good cause. But we're expecting some future PDA surprises, big time, hear that, Robbie?

Dear Ted:
So what is Selena Gomez's deal? I mean she has been linked to at least three hot guys this month! She was first seen with Justin Bieber at the Dick Clark New Years Eve Special and he even sang for her (cute)...Then rumors start flying that she may be the reason that Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift broke up and that TayTay may want her back...Then this past weekend she was seen at Nick Jonas' concert and even on his tour bus and having romantic dates on a park with him in Chicago! Can this girl leave something for the rest of the world? Or for the rest of the Disney family, at least?
—Rosie

Dear Gets Around:
I can assure you Rumor No. 2 is not true. Selena had nothing to do with Tay-Squared breaking up. Swift and Lautner's swift split wasn't ugly, especially not catfighty. I still think she's too sweet for Nick, but maybe after having Miley a second time he's ready for someone tamer.