Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson

Jon Kopaloff/Getty Images; Jon Furniss/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
I've just heard the news that Jared Padalecki is officially off the market and I'm heartbroken. Now both our Supernatural boys are engaged to girls they share no chemistry with, on-screen or off. Plus, this makes two engagements in a year and a half for Jared. What's going on?

Dear Two Time's The Charm:
Sure seems like someone's in a rush to get down an altar, or not. Let's just hope he cares who it's with, ultimately!

Dear Ted:
I really hope this isn't true for her sake, but do you think there's any truth to the rumors that Lindsay Lohan was a paid escort for NYE in St. Barths? If so, it's a sad situation for her, and I hope she get's the help she needs

Dear Shock Value:
Nothing would surprise me at this point. You?

Dear Ted:
I don't understand your Robsten info. What you want to say? Rob and Kristen are just friends? Summit pays Kris, for her going to UK (PR Stunt)? God I'm so confused. Please can you try to be more clear! Thank you.

Dear Wordsmith:
No, I never said PR stunt. She wants to be there. But while Robsten's away, don't think they're totally free to play. Their people are working overtime, checking every blog and blolum around to see what's being said out there about 'em, that's the point. But, be assured: Robsten flies free of the crap themselves, at least, for now they do.

Dear Ted:
What's the actual deal with Cory Monteith and Lea Michele? Are they or aren't they dating? They are a very cute couple.

Dear Mini Robsten:
The cast says no—but that doesn't really mean anything does it? There have been some off-set flirtation...I think they'd be adorable together. Don't think they're seriously dating yet, though.

Dear Ted:
How are Judas Jack Off and Dashed Dingle Dream doing these days? Has their love managed to survive the demands of Hollywood careers? I hope so. Really I need your help. Please tell me who is the taller of the two. I've been thinking of writing a slash romance about them and in my mind's eye one is slightly taller. Please help. Thanks

Dear Young Love:
Sorry, no can do. Looking worse and worse for these two cutie boys, like some bad episode of Jersey Shore, just without the accents and laughs.

Dear Ted:
Not a question, just wondering if there was any possible way you could stop spreading the Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki stuff around? It just makes you sound like a bitter, jealous old man, but I guess you probably know that. They're both happily engaged, leave them alone. I'm 99.9 percent sure this comment won't affect your sad little life, but I thought I'd let you know that I think you're an absolute idiot. I feel very sorry for you.

Dear Pity-Party For One:
I'd sit on your smiley face, just to shut you up, if you were a guy. Damn!

Dear Ted:
I'm a French Canadian and since I discovered your column I'm addicted to it! So I know Tay-squared is over, but there are some rumors that the person sitting next to Taylor Lautner at the People Choice Awards was Taylor Swift's bodyguard and it was the same one who was with him when they were first seen together in Chicago. Is there a sign here about something nobody sees? And since we are in the teen world, is there something juicy about one of the Jonas brothers these days? Love your work!

Dear Tay Time:
I wouldn't take that as a sign...they are friends still after all. Trust me on this, Tay-Squared ain't happening (romantically) anytime soon. As for the JoBro's they're so 2009, don't you think?

Dear Ted:
I've never emailed you, however I have often wanted to on so many topics. I just have to do it now regarding my favorite topic, Rob. Please tell me there was not ounce of truth to that little New Moon skit on the PCA about Rob. I just can't believe Rob would have outrageous demands and be all diva like then refuse to attend. Tell me he just wanted to avoid the spotlight and be with Kristen. Please Ted give me the Awful Truth on this! Oh, I've been following you about a year now, totally love you and totally addicted.

Dear Fun and Games:
No, from what we hear Rob is totally easy going and awesome to work with. I think the skit was supposed to be funny.

Dear Ted:
Tila Tequila
and Casey Johnson were so in love, as Tila claims, why is it that Casey's body wasn't discovered for several days? Surely, a media whore like Tila would have put out some kind of Twitter APB after not hearing from her "wife" for several days! Tila is a disgusting excuse for a human and I hope Nicky Hilton Rothschild punches her lights out!

Dear Gross;
I'm so Team Nicky it's not even funny. I think Tila is pathetic, she doesn't give a crap about what's going on she's just trying to find more ways to use the sad situation to her advantage.

Dear Ted:
So Rob and Nikki hooked up. I know it didn't work out. Do you know why? Was Nikki really into him? After this supposed hook up he and Kristen started dating. Whether it was weeks or days after doesn't matter. What I am trying to say is...doesn't that make Rob and Kristen bad guys as in they started dating immediately after this without considering Nikki's feelings? What did Rob tell Nikki? Did he just dump her? And, also, there's Michael Angarano obviously something "triggered" the end in their relationship. So all in all what I am trying to point out is, from my POV Rob and Kristen did not consider these people's feelings if it was how it went come no one ever looks at it this way?

Dear Fresh Viewpoint:
And now you're thinking like a studio suit (and publicist) my darling. Hence why Robsten was never a good idea in the beginning. As for Rob and Nikki: yes, she was the one hurt in the end by what went down there. Rob and Nikki weren't exactly dating though.

Dear Ted:
Is there a second Baby Tile in the Tile-Goose family?
Little Sibling

Dear Bundle of Joy:
Their family is constantly expanding, in many ways.

Dear Ted:
Happy New Year! I found your Robsten's Watching You Watching Them blog confusing. Is it that the Twilight franchise folks don't want Rob & Kristen's couple status promoted or they don't want media outlets claiming that Rob & Kristen are a couple only for promotional purposes? Is there any truth to the contention that Rob's people are trying to maintain his single image for PR purposes? Keep the Robsten coverage coming.

Dear Not so Confused:
Don't know what you're hung up on, because you sound pretty dead on in everything you just listed.

Dear Ted:
I'm addicted to your blog, although I'm French and it was hard, at the beginning, to understand everything you said. But I'm persistent. Could you tell me what you mean when someone asks you 2 different things, you print it all, but you only answer one question?

Dear Pays Attention:
Either I'm sick of typing, don't want to answer, or not allowed to answer.

Dear Ted:
You had mentioned that you were going to have a Twilight Blind Vice coming soon. Was Parrish Maguire the one you were referring to?

Dear Twitter Follower:
Parrish wasn't the one I had in mind for this Friday, no.


For more of Ted's sass head on over to our Bitch-Back section


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