Here's hoping Artie Lange does as great a job in his role as recovering patient as he did playing sidekick to Howard Stern.
The King of All Media's court jester has been released from Jersey City Medical Center after undergoing surgery in the wake of a suicide attempt, the details of which have finally been confirmed by police.
"Mr. Lange was found by his mother at 9:36 a.m. on Saturday," Hoboken Police Det. Lt. Mark Dompetello told E! News. "She called 911 when she found him in a pool of blood. He was semiconscious [and] then became unconscious.
"Our medics came. Apparently he had nine self-inflicted knife wounds, and it was ruled to be an apparent attempted suicide. There's no active criminal investigation."
Lange's family declined to discuss his condition. "We have no comment at this time and we hope that the media will respect Artie and his family's privacy," his publicist said in a statement.
But Lange's other family hasn't kept as quiet on their feelings—mostly anger—on the situation.