Bitch-Back! Do You Like Your Mariah Sloppy?

Carey still receiving fallout from her drunken acceptance speech

Dear Ted:
I live in Palm Springs, and have been following the "Mariah fiasco." The only time she has proven herself on-creen, she blows it by turning her acceptance speech into one fit for the VMAs. Do you think this will affect her chances at even being nominated for an Oscar? I think she blew it. What the heck was she thinking? This was a very prestigious award and audience. Have you heard any fallout from this?
—Blnd

Dear Excuse Me:
First off, I love that she at least admitted it backstage at the People's Choice Awards. I'll take amusement over boring speeches any day! Plus, as much as I doubt an Oscar nom will happen, M.C. is campaigning almost as hard as Mickey Rourke did last year—and look what happened then.

Dear Ted:
On a number of occasions in the past few years you've hinted that Toothy was on the verge of pulling the plug on his public persona charade and revealing his true persuasion, but to no avail. Toothy seems to have lost his nerve each time and his true identity still eludes us. Is 2010 the year where we will finally definitely find out who Toothy really is? Is Toothy any closer to coming clean? What about Grey Goose? Any chance he may decide on going public in the near future?
—Quickly Losing Hope

Dear Toothy Perplexed:
I don't see Grey Goose going public unless Toothy would. I think T.T. is calling the shots, and he has much more to lose. I'm with you, babe, I've been waiting and waiting, and really don't know what to expect anymore. But I still have stupidass hope!

Dear Ted:
I heard some voices about a Robsten wedding in Las Vegas not long time ago...do you know something? This will be the gossip of the year! Please, tell us something!
—Ilaria

Dear Wedding Crasher:
Yes, and Nikki Reed was maid of honor, and Elvis was best man.

Dear Ted:
Happy you are back. Hopefully rested and ready to share your plethora of knowledge. Do you think Robsten reads A.T.?
—The Tennesseans

Dear Good Question:
In between Vegas weddings, yes.

Dear Ted:
What the hell is Evan Rachel Wood doing with Marylin Manson? I saw the engagement news. Have you ever talked with him? Is he as creepy as he seems? She is so beautiful!
—Ade

Dear Duh:
What is she doing? Getting talked about, darling, precisely what she wants.

Dear Ted:
Could Tay-Squared be considered "convenient" just because it made sense? Was it all for publicity, or could it just be that they were friends, thought they might as well give it a try and failed? They seemed liked they actually enjoyed each other's company a little too much to say it was all fake.
—Alia

Dear All or Nothing:
I think they got along really well as friends. There's no animosity there. But they both got exactly what they wanted from going on ice cream and hockey dates together.

Dear Ted:
Is Alexander Skarsgård as sweet as he seems? Please tell me he doesn't bat for the other team.
—Portillo

Dear True Blood:
No one in Hollywood is as sweet as they seem, A.S. included.

Dear Ted:
I've been curious for a while if Jamie Foxx's Blind Vice has anything to do with Jake's. They are friends, but how close are they really?
—First timer

Dear Random Pairing:
Sorry, detective horny, Jamie and Jake have two separate B.V.s.

Dear Ted:
So let me get this straight (yeah, poor choice of words): You're saying that the double Jackles engagements are shams? How can that be when the reps of both Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles have confirmed them and one of Jared's family members tweeted about receiving an invitation to his wedding in Sun Valley on Feb. 28? I want to believe you, but why would they do that, especially the family connection, if it wasn't true?
—Baffled Becky

Dear Shim-Sham:
No, I'm not saying they're shams. I think they're exquisitely timed, that's all. Maybe they'll both actually happen, maybe not. But keep in mind Daneel Harris tweeted me that her union to Supernatural's Jensen Ackles was damn well going to happen. Fab! Not exactly blushing, love-struck bride material, but whatever gets the job done, right?

Dear Ted:
You said that Ian Somerhalder wouldn't be single for long, but he hasn't been. He's been dating the same lady for three years, and from what I hear he treats her and everyone around him very well. I respectfully disagree that he is a bad boy even thought he's damn hot.
—Sophie

Dear Two Stories:
I've heard something a little different! But that he's a nice guy. Bad boys can still be nice.

Dear Ted:
You've said that Nikki Reed doesn't get along with Kristen, Rob or Ashley. Is she friends with any of her Twilight castmates at all? Also, has she ever been a Blind Vice?
—VDO

Dear Rumaging Reed:
Nikki and Elizabeth Reaser are besties. And Nikki gets along fine I think now with K.Stew. Yes to the second part of your question.

Dear Ted:
You've already made references to E! lawyers. Do they check everything you post? I'm mostly curious about closeted celebrities. I know you never out people, but I guess you must have some solid proof about gay actors, especially when you make bold statements. So how does it work?
—4

Dear Good Q's:
Yes, everything that gets posted gets read first by our anal-retentive lawyers, most of whom wear mauve suits from Loehmann's.

Dear Ted:
Can you please stop answering questions from people who do not believe in Robsten? First of all, it's boring and repetitive. And secondly, it is obvious that these little girls are trying to keep their own Edward fantasy alive and it's just plain annoying. Please remember your audience: smart, realistic people who like reading gossip about bisexual and gay actors!
—S.S.

Dear I Wish:
You're a funny babe!

Dear Ted:
Just curious why at the People's Choice Awards, although Twilight won three awards it wasn't even mentioned? Also why did the entire cast of the Vampire Diaries skip out on the show? I love my vampires!
—M

Dear Fangcessed:
Probably because the big-name Twi stars couldn't make it! Didn't you notice that the people who won were coincidentally sitting in the audience?

Dear Ted:
Are you surprised with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins' breakup? They seemed solid.
—Mary

Dear Sorry, But…
I wasn't exactly surprised.

Dear Ted:
Regarding the biggest, hunkiest vampire on TV, Alexander Skarsgård: I thought you liked him as much as I do? The last few times you've mentioned him, there's been a bit of a negative tone. What happened? How'd he lose you?
—Kenzie

Dear Misread:
You're kidding! We love our Skarsgård, sexy as ever.