1. A Tale of Two Tigers: Sports-world-rocking golf god. Philandering, cell-phone-abusing husband to the beautiful mother of his two children. Tiger Woods turned out to be both—and we may not have ever known if the guy who named his boat Privacy had not plowed into a tree outside his house at 2:30 a.m. the Friday after Thanksgiving. The model-worthy Mrs. Woods, Elin Nordegren, took a club to his Escalade windows for some reason or other, and then all of a sudden the 31-year-old superstar is dropping out of his own tournament and apologizing for his "transgressions." Two of the alleged paramours are denying any such relationship, while another (the one with the nude pics) is gladly admitting it, and no one is happy. Including the guy who introduced Tiger and Elin.
2. Grammy Goddesses: Beyoncé,Taylor Swift , Lady Gaga and their über-catchy hooks scored 23 nominations between them heading into the 52nd Annual Grammy Awards, aka the Non-Top-40 Shaftfest. In lighter news, we've got another Red Carpet section for you!
3. Shocked Rocker: Already found too incendiary for early-morning audiences, Adam Lambert was also axed from Jimmy Kimmel Live and Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve, indicating that ABC didn't find the boundary-pushing performer ready for late night, either. But now that Barbara Walters finds him fascinating, ABC has eased up a bit, and will let him sing on The View next week. We hope Hasselbeck can handle it.
5. After the New Moon: Taylor Lautner scored his first post-Twilight leading role and another date with a certain eight-time Grammy nominee. Other than that... More of that Robsten will-they, won't-they, are-they, aren't-they. Plus, Summit is considering breaking Breaking Dawn into two films, like the last installment of Harry Potter and the Never-Ending Franchise.
6. Love Stories: Khloé and Lamar made it official...Amy Adams is expecting her first child...Maya Rudolph and Paul Thomas Anderson had their second...Lisa Loeb and hubby had their first...Check out Jennifer Hudson's first...Meredith Baxter doesn't regret losing the Birney...Chelsea Clinton's engaged!
7. Watching TV: According to the all-knowing WWK, there are major mind-blowing happenings afoot on Dexter, crazy love games in the air on Glee...George Stephanopoulos is in line to replace Diane Sawyer on Good Morning America...Comcast and its cable nets (including E!) are thisclose to co-owning NBC Universal...SYTYCD is already down to eight...Heroes is very ill, if not officially dying...Emilie De Ravin was spotted shooting Lost...Nicole Richie's getting a shot at her own show...Thanks to being on TV, Susan Boyle's got a No. 1 album...30 Rock and Mad Men are up for more honors...No more Raising the Bar.
8. Tis the Season: The unofficially official awards season kicked off with a National Board of Review Best Picture win for the George Clooney-fronted Up in the Air; Annie Award nods for Up and Fantastic Mr. Fox; Independent Spirit Award noms for Precious and 500 Days of Summer; and a Gotham win for The Hurt Locker. You can also get a jump on the possible 2011 Oscar field by checking out who's in competition at Sundance next month.
9. National Insecurity: Everyone's favorite Real Housewives wannabes, Tareq and Michaele Salahi, continued to defend their appearance at the White House state dinner. Meanwhile, President Barack Obama can rest safely knowing that the Secret Service are just as effective as the Washington Redskins' cheerleader-vetting process.
10. Misc: Happy B-day, Britney!...Tom Brokaw's OK after a car crash...Regis is healing after hip surgery...Roman Polanski is under house arrest...The alleged Burglar Bunch pleaded innocent...Catholics frown on PETA's nude ways and Joanna Krupa frowns back...Nick Jonas is hitting the road with the Administration.
If a picture's worth a thousand words, we've got, like, 10 zillion words for you in the Big Picture gallery.