Bitch-Back! Has Skarsgård Lost It?

True Blood hottie not too friendly with the paps

Dear Ted:
Have you seen the paparazzi video of Alexander Skarsgård and Kate Bosworth? Skarsgård was furious, like ready-to-punch-someone angry. What gives? He's always been so friendly with them.
—LC

Dear Celeb Gone Crazy:
Embarrassed maybe? We would be, too. Maybe he's not as adept at babe-trotting as we thought?

Dear Ted:
Why is everyone hating on Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen's relationship? I think they make a cute couple, though at times I get a gay vibe from Hayden. Is he hiding something? What's your take on these lovebirds?
—Alva

Dear Broken Hearts:
The haters are prob just bitter that Rach didn't stay with her O.C. love Adam Brody...you have to admit, they were pretty cute together. And if Robsten's taught us anything, no one likes it when their onscreen favorites aren't with each other.

Dear Ted:
What did you think of New Moon? I'm not a fan, so maybe that's why I didn't enjoy it as many others have. Anyway, do you think Summit should send you a check for the overexposure you gave New Moon and its stars? I think they should, LOL.
—Dizzy 

Dear N.M. Supporter:
No comment. And that'd be a lovely holiday gift from Summit, just send the check to the Awful Truth, thanks!

Dear Ted:
Would you say that Nevis is bi for pay, but gay all the way?
—Kiss 

Dear Rhyming Guesses:
Nevis is most definitely not bi for pay or gay all the way. Lots of guys on the other side of the pond experiment around. It's not as big of a deal over there.

Dear Ted:
Call me naive, but how can Fake à la Ferocity travel around the world and not get caught with heroin? Surely she can't risk withdrawal on her jaunts. Is this why she has a pilot's license?
—Nan in Wisconsin

Dear Drugged Traveler:
Fake's on the synthetic stuff now, that's not illegal.

Dear Ted:
Has Reese Witherspoon ever been a Blind Vice?
—Colleen

Dear Reese Gone Bad:
Darling, don't you know? Crafty Reesey's one of our Blind Vice Superstars!

Dear Ted:
If Toothy Tile is really in such turmoil about his sexuality/beard relationship/Hollywood pressure/Grey Goose love affair, he seems to be hiding it rather well. Is he truly a liar and a coward, Ted? I am asking because I do believe I've guessed his identity, and if it is the person I am speaking of, I've always had a soft spot in my heart for this person, who seems such an otherwise good-hearted fellow. Please don't be coy and tease with lines like "Well I don't know, who do you think he is?" my dear. And also, does his family know about Grey Goose?
-Jkr

Dear No Teasing, Please:
I'm kinda crushed, too, so that makes two of us. And, yes, very much so.

Dear Ted:
In my 32 years of living, I have never seen a movie promotional tour (is that what it's called?) make a stop here in the Caribbean. We, West Indians, may not hound celebrities when they come on vacation (we pretty much let them be), but we flock to the cinemas just the same as folks in the U.S and the U.K. I know hundreds would have caused the streets to shut down if Robsten came to town. Right now, tickets are sold out for the next two to three weeks.
—Ellie, Trinidad & Tobago

Dear New Places, New Faces:
Lets change that! I hardly doubt celebs would be upset about going to "work" in the Caribbean. I mean, let's get real.

Dear Ted:
I am not a fan of the Twilight series, but I am growing to be a fan of Kristen Stewart, because of you! She seems to be a really cool chick. I am curious about one thing though: Do you think K.Stew enjoys playing Bella? According to what you've told us about her, it seems that the real-life K.Stew couldn't have been more different from cough—pathetic!—cough Bella.
—Butterscotch

Dear New K.Stew Fan:
She's totally different in person. I think Kristen enjoys playing Bella because she enjoys acting and getting inside other people's heads that she's totally unlike.

Dear Ted:
Longtime reader (first time post) all the way from New Zealand—love your Bitch-Backs and Blind Vices! This question has been bugging me for a while now—you said not very long ago that there was trouble with the Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens' relationship, and that she lied about something to do with the nude photo scandal. So I'm thinking...those photos weren't sent to/meant for Zac, were they? But they covered it up for the good of the High School Musical promo? What else could she have lied about if not that? Love your work.
—Kiwi Girl

Dear Trouble With Young Love:
Well, if you claim said pics were taken when you were a minor, then they legally have to be taken down from all websites, or else it's child pornography. Even if, say, one was over the age of 18 when they were actually taken.

Dear Ted:
Do you ever wonder if Kristen Stewart is secretly into Taylor Lautner and is just settling for Robert Pattinson? It totally irks me, but I can't shake the feeling after seeing the movie and interview with Jimmy Kimmel (with Kristen cozying up to Taylor and not Rob). I am a huge Robsten fan, so I'm hoping it's just their friendship...What do you think?
—Kels 

Dear Taysten Now?:
Definitely not. Now you're falling into Summit's original plan! But they quickly saw that wasn't happening. 

Dear Ted:
Please tell me, Toothy's not my beloved Johnny Depp, is he?
—Pedward 

Dear Sexiest Man Alive:
Nope, you're good to go! He's not even close.

Dear Ted:
I love Robsten, but I'm intrigued by this right now: Cunning and sly Ashley Greene has definitely trampled over Nikki Reed for the No. 2 spot for the Twilight girls, and is sexing up big-time to be the No. 1 pinup of the cast. Good for her, 'cause her acting ain't gonna feed the bills! LOL. But I've gotta ask: How is Nikki taking all the new Ashley love that's being showered upon her publicly, with TV spots,  interviews and Maxim covers? Is Nikki green with envy, since that would have been her if she had played her cards right?
—Nosey in the OC

Dear Fight to the Top:
I think Nikki's welcoming the change. Now she can slide out from being teen-typecast and can go cuddle up to her billionaire boyfriend and go for different roles. But we don't exactly think Nik and Ashley get along.

Dear Ted:
Please pick my question. I think I know who Jackie Bouffant is! It's Joe Jonas right? He sings, has done movies, worked for Disney and has been seen out with babes on the town (Taylor Swift and Camilla Belle). Am I right—or even close?
—Daisy

Dear J.B. Guessing:
Close, but still wrong.

Dear Ted:
Terry Tush-Trade is Chaz Bono, right? You just said that you don't intentionally mislead readers in your Bitch-Backs, but then you suddenly pulled a pronoun switch on TTT. I can't think of any other "she's" that have recently turned into "he's."
—StellsBells

Dear Simple Mistake:
Chaz Bono has nothing to do with Twilight, sorry! Easy mistake, though, with all the sexual crossed-wires on in that cast.

Dear Ted:
Can we talk about Adam Lambert's performance at the AMAs? As an openly gay public figure, I would think that you'd have more to say about Lambert. If a woman or even an underage girl had performed the same exact act, right down to the same-sex kiss at the end, there would not have been nearly the same backlash. Don't you think we need to be talking about this double standard and being as verbal as those who seek to hold others down? Adam Lambert has one of the best voices out there today. He could also do wonders for the younger gay generation, who needs to see others like themselves out there. Neil Patrick Harris is great, but he can't be the only one.
—Millennia 

Dear Yay Not Nay on Lambert:
I totally agree, Adam didn't do anything wrong! There's a definite double standard that needs to be looked at for sure. So boring and predictable that people can't see that.

Dear Ted:
I was watching Family Guy and The Cleveland Show last night, and they made some vague comments about a couple of actors, one I'm almost positive has been a B.V. centerfold, and was wondering about the other. So has Tyler Perry ever been a subject of a B.V.? (If so, I think I may know which one, but could you give me a clue, pretty please?)
—Sherry

Dear TV Clues:
Nope, not ever, either. Tyler's talented, just not all that sexy, though, which is usually a prerequisite for entering Blind Viceville.

Dear Ted:
Dwayne Johnson seems to be keeping his acting career going pretty good, but you don't hear much about his personal life. What's the goss on him? He is hot, built and seemly very nice and down-to-earth, but does he have anything hiding under his "rock"? Hope you have a nice Turkey Day!
-LB

Dear Rock Turned Actor:
Eh, boring pick, honey. But just because you asked so nicely, let's just say Dwayne is a genius when it comes to having the public know exactly about him what he'd like them to.

Dear Ted:
Do you think that Madonna's relationship with Jesus Luz is serious? I'm actually surprised he lasted that long (almost a year now)! Do you reckon she'll get bored with him soon? Also, do you think there's a chance of Madonna and Sean Penn getting back together, as both of them are divorced now for the second time? I still believe that those two are the real deal.
—Linda

Dear Madonna Affairs:
I'm shocked he's stayed around so long, too. Remember, what Madonna wants, Madonna gets. Especially when she's a sugar mommy.