Dear Couple Coverage:
What, you don't buy the obvious? Me, neither.
I understand that Twilight is the topic du jour, and that's fine. I'll even cheer on Robsten. I've watched the rise and fall of Lindsay Lohan through your eyes, I knew all about Paris Hilton well before her sex tape and I've recently started to obsess about Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles' epic bromance under your dizzying influence. At this point, I'm pretty much resigned to the fact that I'll take whatever you throw at me, and I mean that in the best possible way! However, you asked who else you should report on, apart from the Twilight cast, so while you may have meant that as a rhetorical question, here is my wish list: Pink. What's up with her and her on-again, off-again husband? Viggo Mortensen. He's hot, edgy, offbeat. How can he not be juicy? Gerard Butler (I know, I know, but I still kinda like him). Lady Gaga. Keanu Reeves. Guy Ritchie. Thom Yorke. Lily Allen. Any of these sound good to you, babe?
Dear Celeb Suggestion:
First of all, we dished on Pink's possibly naughty husband (just for you). Love Lady Gaga, as any good boy should, but she just doesn't have that many secrets. I'll work on the rest for you, but I'll tell ya, Jackles is one of my faves so far.
Sorry we keep bringing up Angelina Jolie, but can you tell us why she insists on wearing floor-length black dresses nearly all of the time, even when out with the kids shopping?
Dear Fashion Police:
She's usually hiding stuff. Duh.
What does Angelina like to eat when she has dinner?
Dear Weird Question:
From what it's looking like lately, nothing.
There has been an uproar of extreme anger toward you recently in the comments section. The complaint against you is that you have been misleading and/or blatantly lying to your readers about a certain Blind Vice. This particular Vice has had three iterations to tickle our fancy. So, here is the question on my and many others' lips: What the ef? Seriously, are there instances where you are pressured by people such as lawyers to back way the heck off of the clues you've been giving and, in fact, print things that might lead your readers to draw different conclusions than the ones most have drawn, thus keeping their clients safely closeted? Or were the majority of us just barkin' up the wrong tree? Throw us a bone here, pretty please!
Dear Pissed B.V.s:
Please, I do whatever I want (in certain legal limits). I'll try to steer you the wrong way sometimes when it's getting too easy...but come on, I'll never lie. Or mislead. Some people are upset about something I'm not even implying!
What is Fake à la Ferocity's drug of choice? Heroin or crystal meth? Both are horrible, I was just curious.
—Sara, Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Dear Fake 'n' Bake:
What is up with the whole Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen relationship? They are hardly seen together? I know he's a Blind Vice, but can you give just a tiny clue as to which one he might be? Rachel should have stayed with Adam Brody—he is super hot...What was she thinking!
Dear Thumbs-Down Haychel:
Beats me. I loved those O.C. sweethearts.
When Angelina Jolie eventually dumps Brad Pitt, he'll be looking for a new "love of his life" and/or "soul mate." Of the following three actresses who do you think would be more his type: Natalie Portman, Julie Dreyfus or Robin Wright Penn?
Dear Soul Mate Searcher:
None of the above—they aren't dark enough.
I always thought that you could tell a lot about a person by the company they keep, so imagine my surprise when I found out that nice-guy Jared Padalecki is friends with King of the Douche Bags, Chad Michael Murray! Pretty please, restore my faith in good people and tell me that Jared doesn't share any of Chad's nastier qualities? Hopefully yours,
Dear Wrong Friends:
No, not Chad's, but some One Tree Hillers' for sure.
John Mayer and Gerard Butler are sleazy hot. They're the guys you don't take home to meet mama, that you would never want as a boyfriend but who you have dirty, hot sex in the back alley with.
Dear Good Observation:
Yes, yes they are, but you won't be happy about it when you have to visit the doctor after.
Is it possible that since Catherine Hardwicke said all this stuff about Robsten, they would get upset she blabbed about their relationship and go back in the dating closet for a while? I really hope not since we were finally getting the good stuff, but you never know with these two!
Dear Relationship Outing:
I think Rob and Kristen are over it. They won't confirm anything; it's up to the fans to know how to take it.
Is Toothy Tile Hugh Jackman? He obviously loves his kids and hangs out with his wife and looks happy. But that grin...There's something mischievous about him, and that intriguing grin seems to say, "We all know my secret—if not, think you can guess?" Not that it should matter; we'd love him no matter what! Personally, I love the nuances and lack of white-bread suburbia in anyone willing to risk showing that side of themselves!
—Seattle Suburban Soccer Mom
Dear Guessing Mom:
Someone already guessed that, and I already said nope! Sorry, hon, wrong vice for Hugh. Think less slick.
How can I see this Ashley Greene-Jackson Rathbone kissing pic that everyone is talking about? I can't seem to find it, or I'm not looking in the right places. Help!
Dear Search Engine:
Google? Or how bout I make it easier for you...Here ya go!
I can't be the only one wondering about the other big "are they or aren't they": Cory Monteith and Lea Michele from Glee! I think there is very little mystery left for the Robsten relationship, so I think you should do some digging for the Cory and Lea deets. The show is awesome and is getting a huge following, so there should be plenty of interest.
Dear Gleeful Love:
Cory's trying to take a cue from the Robsten playbook or something with the nondenial denials. I could totally see something up between these two—whether it's a onetime fling or more remains to be seen.
I was hoping for a Newlyweds reunion between Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson, but it looks like it won't happen. Why does Nick insist on staying with Vanessa Minnillo?
Why did Justin Timberlake ever hook up with Jessica Biel, for that matter? Men and their penises can be so weirdly wrong.